Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Haunted Corners of Familiar Rooms IV.
Current Listen : Voices in my head.

First off, i fuckin loath laptops. So babi, hence.

I'm Numb. My eyes lowered thru the batterings of Life.
Sanity check, i start counting my fingers, each hand, still five.
Battered with One feeling while splattered with different pains
Back in the back of my mind, where the old Raizzen still reign
Seems that this is the last of my shelter, i pray not that it falter
Wars in my head prolonged, each time new Warlord claims that he's better

My concious fades in the light of swords, hands and fist.
And Fuck it, takes a Nobody, only a Nobody'd understand this.

Me at my worst, i was never a quick thinker, therefore the 5-10 minutes piece is like whatever (tho' yea i admit that a couple of concepts have been lingering in my mind fer sometimes). Therefore, whatever. Today was Hectic, exhausting, dumbfounding, pocket crunching and so on and so on, sighs i'm brokeeeeeeee.

Been doing welfare fer my company like a lot and i'm almost mampus and i've vowed not to mintak duit from my parents anymore therefore, this is me. Fulfilling my vow. Sighs. Further further further tensi like hell with works and these kids attitude. Guess after all i'm the one whos childish..

Can i dial 1800-fuckin-help-me-100 ? I need an audient !

Have i forgotten how to spit my rage in between the lines, on a scroll back, this aint really what i'm feeling but on 2nd thoughts, ermm whatever.

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Haunted Corner of Familiar Rooms III.
Current Listen : Tupac Shakur - Unconditional Love.mp3

Was flipping through the pages of an old book and stumbled upon a familiar handwriting. Mine. It was last year's. A personal vow, one that was crafted while i was dreadfully floating in between Reality & FanEcstasy. The resounding sound that tags along with the pronounciation of the name. Her name. Not the best of memory but definitely the best memorized. One of the most painful journey i've had.

" Every man falls, but how do u exploit the fall into a powerful bounce to the top is all that matters " - I, Drowning in my own tears. (10.33 PM, 25 April 2006)

How long has it been ? More than a year ? Looking back, i can now smile at the kid i was, and pretty much still am. The rash, foolish me. I'd overlook shits after shits should it was her. How's she doing ? What's she doing now ? Foolishness.

Despites, i moved on, not that i pick the pieces of myself up together, no, its not that, its just that was forced to sprint along the fast paced life of ours. I was forced to give up, to forget etc. Am glad i didnt stay in Solitary..

* We'll be back after the commercials.. *

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Gloomy Sunday.
Current Listen : Keith Urban - You'll Think of Me.mp3

Space INtended for a piccie, but Photobucket is
like damn Pukimak dari semalam lagi.

Woke up this morning, all alone in the house. Oh, the quiet life, quite nice i must say. Half eaten Big Mac from last night's pathetic lone dinner fer breakfast. Simplicity. The rain was falling not too heavy and not too light fer my liking. Fantastic. Solitary is a thing of beauty, ermm yea, but not all the time.

On the other hand, am pretty depressed of self limitting believes that i've imposed upon myself, believes of i cant do this and that. Its depressing. Twenty something years of self-imposed stupid believes and an induitably contributory helping hands from social conditioning, are now taking their tolls. And heavy ones at that. The outgoing me, the outspoken me, the adventerous me the etc. me are struggling to get out of the shell that i have created out for myself just in case i need to avoid the Reality in the past, the shell that shelters the Shy, Drawn back, Negative etc me.

In pursuit of the fullest, voids are common is what i've said to a friend, and i'd like to believe that at the end of the tunnel, there awaits an exciting, gutsy, not seeking approval brand new me. And i'd like to believe that these are just mere sharpnels of an explossive self that's about to appear. Hell, if thats the case, then its all worth it.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Schweet Distraction From The Reality That Bites.
Current Listen : Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape.mp3



A strong front in presence of Agony & burst of laughters when u actually suffer.
For the smiles of ones u hold dear, pain over pleasure is what u'd prefer.
Far too strong to be protected, proven agile to be stopped.
Still, the reach of my arms are an open shelter, just in case u drop.


Behold ! A phrase that weighs the relevance of a century or 2..
Fuck J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S & T. I.. wanna be with U !
Funny how the mere distance of a few words swap into a meaning.
Hillarity, when a couple of bond letters can shape my every feelings.

You're not my Everything, No ! - Cause you're my World..
My assurance, my hindrance, my best, my worst, my girl.

How's it going, Pal ?

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Langkawi Trip Part II : An Island's Altered Ego.
Langkawi, Defaced & Vulnerable.
Current Listen : Jamrud - Pelangi Dimatamu.mp3

The Nature
Soothing Greenaries. Damn, am such a Nature lover aint I ?
Oh how fake.

The face of Horrible Death
Hi, my name was Horrible !

The Barriers
Barriers are lame excuses for Mortals. Non existant.

The Pokok
She's lookin' Majestic, aint She ?

Bubbly Bubbles
Ahh.. Finally got to catch ya, fast creature.
No piccie until 45 degrees positioning.

The Real Slime Shady
" He's Shady, I dont trust him ! "

The Seats
The Tepi Laut Seats By Our Motel. Niceness.

Most of the piccies were taken from the hands of their owner, err i mean taken in my first day of arrival. While the suckers were intimately attached to the Motel's bedsheets. I chose to walk the Windy paths of the Unknown just to find myself in the arms of Langkawi, her alter ego, to be exact. Shes neither the Pradas nor Fendis nor does she is a Remy Martin. Shes of Natural Beauty, a rarely sighted personna though, i will have to remind you. Rarity.