..of Some Random Poedreadry
Nota Kaki : Feeling Sucky..

Internal exclamation that falls on a deaf ear.
Somebody who will Listen, not merely here to hear.
Falling into an endless tunnel, how do i fall flat ?
Graveyard aint the scariest place, but where your thoughts at.
Human mind's a tangled thread formed by utter evils
As redundant as " I'm a Sinner ", muttered by the devil
Running contrary off the suction source : A futile attempt -
..of breakin' free, respects spared ? None. Shown only contempts.
Was born a Champion, raised a loser, grown as a pathetic void
Self bashing's what i befriend and self worth's what i avoid

Fed the physical often, nurture the soul seldom
I cant see the source, seemingly pains are phantom.
Constantly reminded against trusting a stranger
So if i don't believe in myself, i'm merely minding the minder..

Down Memory Lane..
Nota Kaki : Be forewarned of heavy usage of the 'back' word since yea i want turn back the clock if i could..

I was back in Seremban after close to 7-8 years leaving it. Not exactly the same Seremban i used to know back when i was in an all boys boarding school back in 1997. Though much have changed, I must also say that many remain recognizable from a Reminisce-r point of view. Im glad.

Regardless of the gladness though, i was also struck by series of remorseless mixed feelings. I feel sad, anxious, alert, insecure and so many forms of feeling that i wish i can identify. I cant really enjoy the variety of luxuries and rarities that were offered due to the hallucination of the younger me & my friends lurking around the face of Terminal One. We used to hang out at the Gaming outlet that offers loads of games regardless of their ingenuity. My friends were obsessed about Tekken 3 and we will sit there kicking our asses off each other and this one Duke will brag all day long about his newly enthroned state.

We too were very obsessed of Mangas and Gundams. We will linger around the facade of a Manga outlet just so that we're given the first glimpses of whats happening to our all-time favorite hero which will be none other than Son Goku. We never mind standing and spending hours in between the gondolas of Gundams at Seremban Parade just to hear how cool it is to be a Johorean who happens to be so near to SG and got to watch Gundam show from the neighbor country. Tho' i can tell that 80% of what he was telling us were pure craps, but who cares anyways ? We were "Woaaaaaa"-ing all around nodding our head to his lies.

How can i not be emotional when every floor has got a brief scene of the past, yet very vivid memories ? Every store that i stop by has got a story that us alone, would understand the laughs and the tears behind them.

" ? 97 to back it turn to able be i would, cycle 360 a Life's If.. "

If I read 'em backwards, perhaps i would ?

You are 60% Optimus Prime!
Current Listen : The Rambling Blabbers of The General Jealousy.. Wargh kargh kargh..

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Like Optimus Prime, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you stick to the basics and don't need all the encumberances of modern technology.

" A Few Hours Away(s).. "

A few hours away from an anticipated mad-driving marathon, a few nerve-wrecking moments away from congested roads, a few hundred kilometers away from Kampung & two (2) days away from Raya. Hrmmm.. I don't really have things blogworthy, as TSP would like to say, to Blog out to begin with but i just like the feeling of writing "A few hours away.." from this & that before finally being there. It leaves me with weird sense of pleasure. Now, i'm starting to sound and feel like a Freekio.

Will be spending the next day and the 1st Raya at Kedah, not quite boring anymore comparing to the last 4-5 years, these kids have all grown up and we can do lotsa fun things together and Yan has had a laptop for quite some times now which means we can either kill the time by watching DVD's or capturing experimental photos utilizing the micro-mode feature and to extract them the instant they were taken. Sheer satisfaction.

I'm Ghost.

24 - Not The Mini Series, Mind You.

I was thinking.. " If tomorrow is a privilege not granted, i regret taking you for granted.. " Is it possible for me to turn it into something associated with more beauties ? I wish to rant more but my eyelids aren't doing me any justice by weighing so heavy that i can't help wanting to close its gap. Damnit.

But oh finally gained a little motivation, i've finally gotten rid of the swelling gums and stinging dental ache. Yay ! My Raya will not be ruined. Yay !! Damn, 5 glass of gargle & the blood is still not less crimson that it was on the first sip, shush.

Still on MC today.. Damnit, heavy work load awaits me smirkingly tomorrow. Shushhh, gimme a break willya ?

To Kill A Mockingbird

I'm filthy. Self Hate is growing and so is pain, physically and mentally. Whats left of Humanity inside me, is draining by the conceptions I once deem alien. A person is not a mere breeze in the evening, touched & begone, no, things will come back to haunt you. Their history, their life circles. Their laughters, their pain. Hideous. Damned.

On the lighter notes, i finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird after quite some times and glad i did. But felt a little holes in my routine these recent times. Shit, i already missed the Finches. Swollen gum, stinging dental pain, never-ending painkillers, a couple of movies, bukak puasa with some big portions of the family, 2 days MC sum up my fine - not weekend.

Shit, i'm dumb. Getting dumber -

The Sinner I Am

The weight of Guilt is unbearable, the damage dealt ? Fatal. I wondered what foolishness has come into my head that translates into my doings these past few days. Contrary to the Past few days they are, i somehow, feel like i'm inhaling the air of hopelessness for a tad too long. Not justified with the actual number of days it counts. Never comes down to me till she knocks me off balance from the fragile thread that i was walking on.

I am now dreading at the thought of my lengthy sins resulting from the disposal of my short sighted estimation.