Legend of The Fall.

Todd Lizardary was an outcast from his family. He was born half-blind. Meaning to say that his only functional vision was either the left one or its counterpart, that if if you're wondering what the hell does the 'half-blind' terminology means. He grew up not knowing his father. Despite that and all the other obstacles, hes braved some of the roughest nights and the sunniest coast.

He was blessed, yet again, with 5 brothers and sisters coz his Momma didnt mind flirting around, be flirted with, and getting pregnant again while in her postnatal period. Out of the 5, the meekest one was Totti, dubbed Franscisco Totti Lizardary, no one ever thought he's gonna make it a month, given his shy and reserved tendencies. He miracalously survived nevertheless, getting even the most obnoxious of us, out of his seat, 50 feets high in the air, astonished.

These amazing brothers never seize to amaze us with their tales of valor and bizarre survivals. Hence, the siblingsless and motherless Totti was left alone to fend for himself. Him being kinda invisible in terms of size in a cold world, had called Todd to come forward and to offer him not a mansion and neither a cottage, but rather, a hut. Not air-conditioned but was good enough to keep them from being soaked when the skies are teary. And most importantly, it sure was warm, warmth that circulates ONLY from brotherly compassion. Yes, that sounded Ghey. But fuck it.

Who'd known that a disaster would struck the bonds of the brothers. A titan that crashlanded on them and change their lives, forever. Tatty Cloverfield, was a charming beaut a Queen to be. Ripe in her age, she turns head and got fools flooding the floor, drooling, just by walking up the street. And sometimes if the floor owner's lucky enough, they would even pee pee on the mat. Ok I digressed, but thats just the extend of a charmer Tatty was.

How her path crossed with the Lizardaries, God knows.

Being self-raised and in touch of solitary in most of his adolesence has taught Todd that an action, no matter how puny could always come back and haunt your ass. And sometimes haul you, for good. Hence there was Todd, cautious and moderate. A contrary scenario was however hovers in Totti's atmosphere. He was hanging with the wrong crowd. Smoking, skipping classed and flipping skirts. Devilishly handsome and charming, he held quite a reputation for breaking girls' hearts as easy as breaking his promises.

That was but till one day, till a phone call molested that afternoon silence. "Hello, Lizardary household. Todd speaking..". An eerie thought suddenly engulfed the coast of Todd's mind. "Rumah kita mana ada talipon, what the hell am I picking up ?" It was a girl's bre--, err, arm, she was half naked with a smile on her face. "Damn you Totti, what the hell did I tell you about brining girls home ?"

No the girl wasnt Tatty.

OK, suddenly my lazy-arse-ness struck. Malas nak sambung. To cut the story short, Todd and Tatty passed. And Totti has joined rank with them among the stars just this recently.

Its just that my story is actually a bout Todd Jarra. The 3rd generation Lizardary. A son of Totti and his final girlfriend. He's named Todd because of his keen resemblance to his uncle, Todd. Thus, he was named after him, to commemorate the memories of Todd. A kid who hired 'Love to eat' as his pastime . He would never stop eating, the moment we step our foot in the kitchen. There he was rubbing his body against our feet. Bajet comel.

The last pix, if you notice, showed that some of the Frieskies were arranged in line, like one of those bread crumbs track, inspired by one of the fairytales. Zahir did that. He thought Todd J would fall victim and follow the tracks exactly and got him trapped. How cute. But the gelojoh Todd J. didnt. lol.

Camwhorroraizzen Part One.

OK, OK, before whatever, I've just got myself a new ? Erm, OK not so new, as she, being close to a month-old now. And oh, the clock starts from the moment she comes home with me. Its a Motorolla V3 Double X (V3xx, for you illiterates out there.) An old, obsolete even model, if you ask me, but a Dear nonetheless. Been eyeing for her company ever since I dunno when. I think it was when I saw Sly flashing it before my mesmerized eyes, back when we were running the KLIA Shopping campaign events together. Yea, I think that was when.

So her being a Dear and me, being the handsome, knight-in-shining-armour, hemsem lad, dont you think its a waste if we dont indulge ourselves together ? Rampant camwhorings alas. And justified too. And fingers crossed, jealousy is normal.

Plus am doing the World Wide Web a favor. Am by right, entitled a fortune for allowing my pixels to be hosted by them. No, ur welcomed. Dont mention. Am just nice like that.

P/S: I had to edit them pixels, as to de-handsomize my overly schmart self. Unless the problems are wearing skirt and putting on mascara, I dont crave for troubles lining up my front door knocking for a peek. Plusses, its just not me putting so many souls out of business and I hate turning down my fans too, being a nice lad and all.

Sighs, what to do, I too am in a tight fix. =(

Camwhorroraizzen Part One. End.

Harga Sebuah Kedewasaan.

Hello Ladies.. and OK, lets cut to the chase and leave out any unnecessary preambles, shall we ?

We registered Zahir Dewasa a.k.a Chew-It* to his first ever secondary school yesterday. Of course, its his first, hes barely 13 yet, fuckers. So he's officially a secondary school laddie. Selamat bersekolah adik, and this is a whole new frontier, one that holds certain uncertainties. One that can be cruel at times but more importantly, one that you can smile upon its memories another 10 years to come.

I hope you'd walk its ground with your head held high and your chest strutted, no matter how dark the coming nights may seem. I hope you'll regard yourself with sky-high an esteem, despite what people'll tell you and what they want you to believe.

And of course, you will, having faced the knives ever since you were but in an infant. Such tenacity that'll raised 2 middle fingers to any one disapproval.

(Wargh kargh kargh. I'll shed some lights to this, another time, another occassions.) *

Lets Blame The Night For Being Dark, Shall We ?

When someone spit on your Mother's name do you go all rational and democratic about it ? No, you don't. And fools, my religion is of farther importance than even my parents. So do I pat your back and console you out of your delusional accusations ? No, I pull a six-shooter up your candy ass, you stupid fuck.

Oh, am scaring you against my religion and caused you to become an Islamophobic ? No Imbeciles, you become it because of your own stupidity and lack of insight, which in the first place is nobody else's but your fuckin fault. But then again there's always people who hold such little worth to dignity, who would conviniently blame the night for being dark. And you are no different from those. And that pal, have I softened the tone.

We've tried the otherwise, we've tried cleaning up the closet off any skeletons but then again, we couldn't expect any better a treatment even after the skeletons be rid off the closet. You fall into a snake pit once in your life. And call yourself an idiot with a capital I, beyond once. That's even more so if you're a Muslim. Yea, us the extreme Muslims.

No Sir, You're Fcuked Up.
Current Listen: Jedi Mind Tricks - Heavenly Divine.mp3

Woke up at 6.30. Pray, mandi and stuffs. Refueled. Dread, with but a teaspoon span of time about thousands of excuses on why I didn't show up at work for the past few days of last week. With but a limited creativity on the execution part.

The road was surprisingly cooperative as there weren't so many cars as per what Ive expected prior to the departure, given the schmiling 7.35 a.m on the face of my wrist watch. Far too facilitating if you ask me, after all its Monday, people are bound to get a little morning crazed someway or another with or without school kids on the road. But it wasnt. Till it struck me funny that yesterday Yan had called us to recite Yassin because its the New Year of the Islamic calendar.

Yerp folks. I actually hit the road to go to work on a Pubic Holiday day. Pubic.

10 Yays for me !

Modern People, Same Old Ancient Fears. Stupid Fucks.

Now, now, fearing something over lack of understanding of the matter is understandable. But what tickles me funny is being arrogantly stupid, while having your butts unearthed from the serenity of its crack(s). Or simply put, a I'm-Glad-I'm-Born-An-Idiot syndrome carrier. And warning lads, THIS, might just be contagious. Just make sure you don't hang out with the wrong crowd.

These fuckers per se, have a VERY common trait. A trait that allows them to luxuriously think that they're the gift of the gab, who God's has descended upon us monkey descendants, err, IF you're a firm believer of Darwin's stupid theories, that is. And am not. Yea, fuck you.

But seriously, with so many from the likes of you who roam the face of the earth, stupidly not to mention, am more than glad am born. Coz you make me shine brighter than I already am. And this reminds of a joke. No racist pun intended. But if you're gonna be stupid and choose to be mad, then, by all means, go ahead and be offended. Yeah, I care.

The joke:

"What if you throw all the black people to the sky ?"

"The sky'll go dark"

"What you do to make it bright back ?"

"You ask them to smile"


Wargh kargh kargh. Stupid asshole(s).

Mocca - I Remember
Nota Kaki: Schweet Tunes. Very.

I remember...The way you glanced at me, yes I remember
I remember...When we caught a shooting star, yes I remember
I remember.. All the things that we shared,
and the promise we made, just you and I
I remember.. All the laughter we shared,
all the wishes we made, upon the roof at dawn

Do you remember..?
When we were dancing in the rain in that december
And I remember..When my father thought you were a burglar
I remember.. All the things that we shared,
and the promise we made, just you and I
I remember.. All the laughter we shared,
all the wishes we made, upon the roof at dawn

I remember.. The way you read your books,
yes I remember
The way you tied your shoes,
yes I remember
The cake you loved the most,
yes I remember
The way you drank you coffee,
I remember
The way you glanced at me, yes I remember
When we caught a shooting star,
yes I remember
When we were dancing in the rain in that december
And the way you smile at me,
yes I remember

Cameron Highlands - 3 Years After.

I think I'll just show this to my boss and tell her I was sick. Damn right shes gonna buy that. Why not.

Just got back from a 2, 3, ah fuck it. I lost the count, I don't even know whether its qualified as a holiday. As it was way way too ad hoc and unplanned. Granted with the fact that some of the most spontaneous creatures God has ever made to walk on the face of His earth, guess appeared. Corporately speaking, a total recipe for disaster. Just the way I like it.

But there I was, demam on my way to Cameron Highland. No, even before that. But I've never really been the type that stop and wonder when I go demam or whatever. I ride it out. So its normal when my demam extends as long as, almost 2 weeks. They went out to look for stuffs we could Babi-Q the living daylight out of it, I tag along. They went out to look for towels, sweaters and some sarongs (indicating the clumsy-ad-hoc-ness of the trip), there I was too, braving the rain despite the alarming heat that engulfs by body. My cuz went out for a schmoke. There I was too wondering which schmoke is my cig's schmoke and which one is the damp air's evaporation as my cig's schmoke never seems to finish despite the short puffs. lol.

I am but a puny slave, nonetheless. I succumb to the fever and laid to rest, for a temporal moment, you morons, the hell you thinking. And finally having had to admit defeat as I was laying down with a skull cap on my head and layan cerita cina kat TV2 where my favourite Cecilia Cheung adorably moves about the screen, making me laugh and fall in love with her for almost everytime she pulls a prank or act up.

Lagi ? Malas. Bye.

"For The Hardest Thing Is Not To Learn, But To Unlearn.."

Staring at the screen at these late hours
When all thoughts labored towards the memory of US.

Every puff of smokes rekindles the heat of every tale-
..we shared, every sound, every emotion and every cruise we sailed.

How do I live off all the streets that I used to walk with u ?
Do I forget their names ? Shall I disregard where they lead to ?

Or should I start with the songs we used to share ?
Trying hard to conceal the tears when and where -
.. the notes hit the lines we specifically spare.
Lyrics that we used to quote just to say that we care

Painfully smiling to the songs we used to dedicate to each other
Feeling under the knife every moments that we are, but over.

Forever shall my laughter be incomplete when;
Only your smiles that had me content.
Now I am but an empty void hollowed with a yearn
For the hardest thing is not to learn, but to unlearn..

As Good As Untitled.

Ibu, I miss u so much now. Wish u were here. Come home soon Mak. I miss u so. Even more so... I cant sleep just yet and tomorrow's the day of an event. Ibu, please tell me everything's alright. God, I miss your lap. Let me cry on it.

am exhausted, yet my cruel eyes did not yet permit me my much required sleep.
got a thousand words to say and fumbled at the first parting of these lips.

ibu balik la cepat. :(

Artist:	Avenged Sevenfold
Album:	Avenged Sevenfold
Title:	Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

You're Free To Blame Yourself For The Untitled Nature of This Post.

Its been long. And oh windy. I've missed this platform. Yea, sorta. Loads had happened and are bound to happen, in the near future. No more surprises. I guessed am immuned.

Mak & Ayah had took off to Mekah in respect of the Pilgrimage's month. Left me to tend for my brothers and an awww so adorable sister. lol. Or the otherwise.

Yes, they're MOST welcomed.

I pray to God that my future steps shall be firmer on the ground they root on so that my previous traces shall, like dried leafs, befallen the ground and burnt or blown away to - Oblivion.

I've made mine, and I don't plan to further impregnate errors thus, inventing more mistakes.

With my shoes buckled, and my heart tied to a knot, I hope the train of these thoughts will keep burning their trails to a station of No End. I hope.

Tips for a Better Life

As per taken, more like stolen from Nadia's Blog. Permission ? Yea, here. * kindly insert one of those fingers up *

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.


You're MOST welcomed.

Its Already So Much & We've Already Missed You..

I just came back from Pak Long's house, yea used to. I've concealed my tears for quite some time until he took he last bath, or rather bathed. I've managed to conceal them so far and I just couldn't any longer when I saw my father's cautious pouring on his brother-in-law's body. Ex brother.

My mind's already contaminated and my views are bound to be distorted. Couldn't let the beautiful memories of him be taken away from me.

So I'll distance myself for now. Till again, my pen meets the paper.

Inflated Vessels & Bleeding Scriptures.

Al Fatihah Pak Long (We Luved You & We Luv You So Much)

When my father told me that Pak Long was again hospitalized for his Diabetic condition, I thought to myself that this has to be another of his long history of routine checks, ever since he contracted his Diabetes a few years ago or so.

I would pay a visit nevertheless, I thought to myself. I'll see his sly smiles when he cracks a joke about Hafiz's hair or who would marry first, and who would I marry again and again. I thought I'd see those today. But Pak Long was pronounced gone a little after Zohor just now. I was struck by the shattering sound in my heart. A gaping hole burned in between its beat.

I thought this was seemingly too unreal. But when I SMSed Yan and told her what had happened, and when she cried over the phone. I know thats Pak Long's gone, FOREVER from us.

I wouldnt see anymore of his sly jokes and half serious sarcastic tone of his.

Teary Pages & Bleeding Scriptures.

When my father told me that Pak Long was again hospitalized for his Diabetic condition, I thought to myself that this has to be another of his long history of

The Fucketh List II

These past few days have been the most confusing, if not shattering. It's been scary. But I guess that's just one of the ingredient of a cuisine we call Life. So yea, moving on, things are slowly looking up for me. And Everything seems to make Cents again. So with a few dollars that remains, Project My Fucketh List commences..

Here are some of the immediate goals projected for Project Fucketh List. (lol) The rest shall follow, when I feel like updating, yea sue me.

1. Pulau Langkawi (err.. again ?) - But this time around with a bunch or friends, you mofo !
2. Somewhere East Coast M'sia - Non Gay Bachelor party somewhere with Shahnaz and maybe a few fuckers of his caliber. Ha ha..

So whats good ? The drive, the roads, the cigs and the skir- err, the food I mean.

My shoes are buckled. Lets go ! :D

The Fucketh List.

Life shouldn't be treated as a checklist, I read somewhere. Well I see no wrongs in treating it as one especially when you're as unorganized as a 2 year old infant trying to fix his napkins. Err what was that ? Fuck it. So yea I was watching this movie the other day, there was these 2 dudes, both contracted Cancer, a little too late at their dim ages. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, 2 heavyweights reining at their careers.

So basically, they were both admitted to the same hospital, that Jack owns, well pardon my lack of memory span to recall his character's name. To cut the story short, after going through some roughs and thicks and thins, quite together in the same room, they both headed for a trip inspired by Freeman's list of things he's always wanted to do his whole life, the so called Bucket List.

So I figure that I too should have one. Ok nanti sambung. Malas dah datang..

Life shouldn't be treated as a checklist, I read somewhere. Well I see no wrongs in treating it as one especially when you're as

Its a Sun-Day, Yet Its Raining, Fuck Irony.

Its raining outside. Light drops. Gentle, yet seemingly slowing down everything. Even the mind is thinking backwardly, instead of staying in the present, it wanders off the terrain of the Past. My only wish on Sundays such as this, is to be left alone, so that I can recline and retrace all the steps that had been taken, consciously or with its sub counterpart. Neither more or less. But I guess that's just too luxurious.

Its still raining as I type this, and the wails of duty is already knocking the door of my bedroom. Off to Seremban in a bit.

If I continue..