Saturday, August 02, 2014

Positivity Is As I Discover, Just A Padlock Away From Being Non-Existent

Hari ni start dengan positivity yang sangat tinggi. Positivity was practically oozing from me. Meleleh-leleh, kata orang Melayu.

Aku workout pagi nie. Tick.

Skipped breakfast and jump straight into lunch. Tick.

Lepas tu azan bunyi. Aku pun pegi la amik kopiah nak pegi masjid. And the padlock was still on! Aku memang dah lama berapi pasal padlock nie. Dah la kunci dia yang mana satu aku tak dapat nak determine. Kuncinya pulak kalau sikit satu hal. Ini termasuk dengan kunci kejayaan, ada dekat 358 anak kunci. Hangin gila.

So dalam kemarahan yang amat sangat aku masuk rumah balik and aku berak. Sambil baca buku.

And maybe I should start writing in my mother tongue. Should gain me some milage with the masses. Heheh. 

(Ko bajet ko best kan with that "Oh maybe I should start writing in my mother tongue" nyeh nyeh nyeh ?)

Bajet Inggeris. Cis.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Come Back

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Having been in the aviation industry myself. Lord knows how much it saddens me to receive the piece of news that we have lost yet another flight. Another muted tragedy of lost souls. Voices yearning to be heard but probably never will. 

It hits home. 

It feels personal.

More than just another tragedy, another mishap, you feel like you've just lost one of your own. 

MAS are brothers and sisters.

And the manner in which it happened, two air crafts in a matter of months. I think you don't have to put two and two together, you'd still feel that something is amiss. But the sad truth is that we will probably never know.

If this was a ploy to a bigger picture unbeknownst to us, even more vexing. Probably just a collateral damage for the greater good of mankind. Yeah, right.

With agony and tears, from a fellow aviation servant, from a brother to brothers and sisters, from a Malaysian to another Malaysian, from a fellow human being to another human being, my deepest condolences.

Trials and tribulations define characters and it is my deepest lying hope that MAS should rise from these ashes, like a phoenix rising. Come back MAS, prove these naysayers just how fucken wrong they are.

Come back. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

But

I love to doodle.

I doodle all the time. Well lately not so much. But every now and then. A human head or two and I will usually drop the effort by the time I reach the finger part.

Raise a glass if you're an aspiring artist or have had experiences going through this. 

I know right ?

But I digress.

So like napkin pieces worth of my doodles, I appreciate my thoughts the same. I value them. No matter how random.

So I was just ironing my shirt and a thought came to me.

"You cannot call yourself great until you can, not more than 350 words, describe how great Fakhrol is"

Somewhat narcissistic. But I bet you can't can you ?

I double dare you.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

.......

I wish they would stop already with the Palestinians kids' pictures in Facebook. My heart wrenches for them. I don't wanna show the world how brutal Israel is, or to show the world who the real terrorist is. I mean don't  Muslims get that already ? Show who of Isreal's terrorism ? The US ? Do you think they give a flying fuck ? Fuck NO. And if Muslims at large are dumb enough to believe that, then maybe we deserve what's coming.

Yes it is sad. I'm typing as if there's a huge lump in my throat trying to fight the tears. But for God's sake, please stop posting these pictures of kids, babies in ashes. Oh dear God...

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, kau hancurkanlah Israel Laknatullah. Kau sampaikanlah roket-roket Hamas ke muka pintu penzalim Yahudi Ya Allah. Lindungilah Mujahideen Mujahideen dijalan-jalan Mu Ya Allah. Kau gegarkanlah bumi dibawah kaki-kaki jahanam Yahudi Laknatullah. Sesungguhnya mereka telah menzalimi hamba-hambaMu Ya Allah.

Amin.

Thursday, July 03, 2014

The Tak Boleh Tido Post

I should have a label that says 'Tak Boleh Tido Post' because as far as I could recall, I lost count of how many of these posts I've had over the years of ranting.

Apparently, I have overestimated my ability to beat the might of a cup (a Koley, in actual sense of things. You're not sure what this is, don't you bimbo ? hihih) - so apparently, I have GROSSLY overestimated my ability to beat down Nescafe every time we lock horns in battle. 9 times out of 10 I would beat Neskape, hands down.

But not this time.

Is this the sign of age ?

It sure feels like 'old' the way I cannot sleep over a meer koley of Neskape. I mean I used to take 2 shots (big ones) and I would later fall asleep on my keyboard.

What the hell happened ?

To think that I used to laugh at Mak for being scared shitless of having Neskape around night time.

And it chose to happen at the worst of time still. Besok nak sahur, lepas tu nak pegi keje. Homaigawd! I remember drinking Neskape like plain water when I was trying to study for my finals and fell asleep as fast the addictive fluids down my throat.

Not then. But NOW.

I am going to be dreadful what with all the numbery details that I have been dirtying myself with lately, tomorrow.

Hadoi.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Oh Liverpool...

What a joy to behold. 

First there was that period when you finally echo that Steven Gerrard's "This is our year" talismanic (boooooring) chant after two decades of cowering to believe. And then there was the very same man literally and figuratively slipping. Slipping the title away from your frail grasp at hopes.

And I thought, from the perspective of moi, as a United fan, whom a season to forget is quite an understatment - my season was quite made. It wasn't so bad after all. And at long last, I was, after a long long time, happy again.

BUT.

Liverstool, I mean Liverpool. Being the source of amusement they are, refuse to go out without a bite, I mean bang. Charlie Suarez, I mean Luis Suarez, the racist bigot who Liverpools fans so shamelessly tried to defend, bit again. Yes, again. A-G-A-I-N. Bringing his biting toll to 3 players. What sort of grown man make his disdain toward a situation known by biting ? I mean euw. Seriously ?

But that's just the player, the person Liverpool chose stand by. And I seriously think its not bad luck, its karma. For Liverpool to go out on a limb trying to force reason when there was none. When they tried to erect defensive lines when its blatantly indefensible.

Oh, but don't get me wrong, despite all these sort-of philanthropically sounding remarks, I regret not the slightest that this had to happen during the World Cup and the whole world had to witness an event so cringe-worthy. I'm no philanthropist. I don't shed tears at what happen to Liverpool fans. In fact, I'm happy that they have to swallow this WHOLE.

Hihih

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

What Title Credential ?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *breath*

Title credential ? Waklu.

Sunday, May 04, 2014

Karma ?

I'm not sure if a Muslim is supposed to belief in Karma.. BUT.

Maybe not Karma in a sense of Hinduism but what goes around comes around, I think that much, Islam does taught us.

So last week's satisfied grin in mockery of Liverstool and their Captain Oppps I Slip It Again. Wehihihihih, that felt good. But seriously, last week's mocking of Liverstool and their Captain Oppps I Slip It Again! - Oh my God, Fakhrol, focus GODAMMNIT. FOCUS!

OK, so last week's mockery of Liverstool (shit, I heard that Britney song coming, approaching fast, must .....contain........ oneself!) has finally Karma'd me. United lost (again ?!) at HOME. 

Shit.

So from the darkest pit of the blackness that is my heart, I wish to apologize to all ye Liverstool fans out there for not being sorry that your captain slipped, and the title possibly SLIPPING right from under your noses and most not sorry of all, that I slip-mocked him thereafter.

After gloating all season long, its nice to see that perhaps Karma has SLIPPED a dose of your own medicine and the title potentially SLIPPING away right from under your noses.

What a nice SLIPPERY feeling it was. And still is, mind you :)

And what's nicer, is that you so thought that you've won it. You so thought that you've won it, didn't you ?

Wehihihihihihih.

Opps I slip it again!

Note: Its a far cry from being in contention for the title yourself, in fact this is pathetic. Cheering on Ciddeh. One of the most despicable team on earth themselves. Pathetic, yes. Regrets ? Fuck NO!

To see the fugly tears from you self glorifying idiots, I'd sell my soul to the devil. You get the irony ?

Nah, too slippery! :D

Monday, April 28, 2014

"Win or lose, the blood was Red"

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I will not try to cover up the fact that I am happy as fuck. Liverpool losing and Gerrard slipping in the process. I couldn't be more content.

"Win or lose, the blood was Red" one fan kononnya menunjukkan kesemangatan assabiyah yang begitu jitu. Dey macha, I've got a little news for you. Your blood IS and will ALWAYS be red. Adoi la macha.

Oh how these guys made my life.

Kalah dah satu hal, dok melalak, crying foul like they're a fuckin victim satu hal lagi. Hiihihihih.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

An Open Letter From A MAS Pilot's Daughter

This note is long overdue and is something that I should have written a long time ago - to let my dad know of how proud I am of him.

I am proud of what he does, in spite of him not being around for almost half of my life.

I am so sorry for being ashamed to tell my friends that you are indeed a pilot. A good one at that.

Apparently, I was told that I was less than pleasant and I was being a difficult (but adorable?) kid.

Nevertheless, I grew up loving airports and flying.

My father, just like the missing Captain, has worked for Malaysia Airlines ever since he left school.

Many times we urged him to work with different airlines but he refused because he wanted to be close to his family and be around us as often as possible.

We could have enjoyed the perks that were offered - free education at international schools, all living expenses paid, a chauffeur to drive us around if he had accepted job offers from other airlines.

Being a pilot's daughter, you are bound to have just your mother flying solo, attending your first day at school, your academic prize giving ceremonies, your sports days, your birthdays and even those Raya celebration.

The worst incident that occurred while Ayah was not around was when our house was robbed by 3 masked robbers.

On top of that, my mother was then 7 months pregnant. My dad was not around and my mother had to handle everything by herself.

She refused to call my dad and worry him as he was to fly back to Kuala Lumpur the following day.

My mother understood the burden that he carries on his shoulders and the importance of having a full, undivided focus while he is flying as he is responsible for hundreds of lives, and not just his own family back home.

I stood up, and answered, "I remember that he wasn't around for half of the time".

He is far from a bad father. He is just working hard to support our family.

We have come to accept that, especially when people asked us, "Ayah mana? (where's your dad)"

I would answer them "Entah, somewhere around the world. Not sure. Have to check his roster."

All his life, his presence has been determined by a single sheet of paper which he would share with us at the beginning of each month. He would sometimes be annoyed when I ask him about his whereabouts because I should have checked his roster first before asking him that.

Before he leaves for work, each one of us would send him off without fail and watch his airport transfer pick him up and drive off.

Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning, other times in the middle of the night. We would "salam" him in advance before we go to bed.

And whenever he returns from work, everyone in the house would come to the front door, and greet him.

And I never realised how significant these rituals are until the MH370 incident occurred.

Each time he leaves for work, he will be responsible for hundreds of lives, he will be responsible in connecting families together, he will be responsible in helping businessmen seal the deal, he will be responsible in realising wanderlust dreams of travellers.

I remember once, a very old passenger in a wheelchair, waited for Ayah to meet him personally after a London-KL flight, he gave Ayah a thumbs up said, "Are you the Captain? Very smooth landing just now. Thank you!"

But deep inside, our family knew, everytime he leaves for work, there is always a possibility of getting that fateful phone call, the possibility of him never returning home.

He is as 'OCD' (meticulous as some would say) as you would want in any pilot flying your flight, ensuring everything is in place.

Even when it comes to punctuality, he isn't a minute late nor a minute early if he says he's reaching a particular time. ... 'I'm reaching there in seven minutes. Standby'.

Cabin crew sacrificed a lot just so they could help the world connect from point A to point B.

Let us give the families affected by flight MH370 our support, prayers and some privacy.

Before you pass judgement, point fingers, or even spread theories and speculations, remember that you will not only hurt the missing cabin crew's families, but you will hurt our feelings as an extended MAS family.

- Nur Nadia Abd Rahim

Monday, March 31, 2014

Place Beyond The Pines

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Balik from revision session and saw my old man lying down on the floor.

Sleeping.

Desolated.

Tears mobbed his cheek during the final sending off of his best friend. My heart cringe at the thought. A lost that never probably will be replaced.

I am both glad and embarrassed having touched shoulders with the man. Glad for having the chance to personally know him up close. Embarrassed, for I am unworthy.

He was a man that during his life, a stern voice against wrongdoings. A man that would never hesitate for a second to call you out if you should transgress the barriers, which naturally, granted him a fair share of dislikers.

A man born perhaps in the wrong era. An era where brutal honesty is mistaken with being uncivilized. He never bothered to fiddle with that crap.

Us humans tend to have short memories. Overglorification of the dead is a common occurrence when talking about somebody deceased. But trust me when I say that Mr. Harun Nayan does not need any of that.

Folks who had attended his burial will be the testament to this. They talk in glowing terms when recalling certain personal encounters with the great man.

I have cousins who barely knew him attending his final parting, wondering what the heck his day job was because for all they know, his jobs, his activities, his LIFE have always been in one way or another, associated with the work of the Masjid. The welfare of the people (he was one of the committee members of the Masjid's Welfare bureau) and Amal Ma'ruf Nahi Mungkar.

What a life to have lived. What a beauty in death to have.

I could go on and on.

But I should probably stop.

He doesn't need me or anyone for that matter to shine his deeds for they speak a great deal for themselves.

The sum of a human life I think, lies within the amount of souls we touched during our journey towards eternity. 

So if anyone should ask how did he die, I will tell him how he lived instead.

Al-Fatihah.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

The Very Best of Us

In succession of a few days, we have received the news of losses of two of our most beloved relative and a family friend.

He takes away the very best of us. Reminding us that nothing in this world is really ours. No one in this world is really anybody's anybody.

But He really DOES take away the very best from us. 

Mere words failed, I have exhausted the best of adjectives for these deceased.

Long shall memories serve the best of moments far as I can reminisce. Al Fatihah Pak Caq (deceased 27th March 2014) and Pakcik Harun (deceased 30th March 2014). 

Warm are these tears against this misty morning. 2014. What a year this has been so far.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Thanks

So many things I wished I could say to you.

I know I have disappointed you. I know that I have let my ego get the better of our relationship. But I hope despite these hostilities and boundaries, that I have left something positive. And I hope that I have made at least something a little better than before you have met me.

I know you made me a better person than I was before.

So many things I wish I could say to you but if I have to wrap them all up in a phrase..

Thank you.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Hurt

There's so many things I wish I could explain to you but I just don't know how. So many words I wanna say to you but I don't know which shall suffice.

But I have never intended for you to be pained. For you are my MOST cherished. My past. My Present. My One & Only.

I know I have caused you pain. But know this, NEVER have I intended for you to get hurt.

For I love you.

And I love you so much it fuckin' hurts.


Monday, February 10, 2014

Umrah Terakhir Kami

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"Umrah terakhir bersama isteri tersayang sehari sebelum meninggal. Suasana ceria pagi tu tiada tanda2 yang saya akan di tinggalkan. Kami telah bertekat untuk membuat umrah tahun ni sebelum ke haji. Rupa2nya dia meninggal semasa umrah.

Saya yakin ini merupakan hadiah yang teristimewa untuk arwah kerana Allah telah memanggil untuk di kebumikan di tanah haram. Takdapat di bayangkan betapa terharunya perasaan ini dalam sekelip mata isteri tersayang sudah tiada. Mashallah tak dapat menahan airmata semasa sama2 dengan puluhan ribu jemaah masjidil haram menyembahyangkan arwah, saya memang terkenal dgn sikap tabah dan kental tapi rupa2nya tertewas dengan peristiwa tersebut, moga2 Allah memberi jannah kepada arwah.

Terasa terlalu sunyi perasaan ni, semangat terlalu rendah tertapi syukur anak2 ada di sisi utuk menampung kesedihan. Betapa kuasa Allah mengetasi segala2nya, diri yang sihat tiba2 dimatikan. Tiada terduga bagi hambanya bagi segala kesudahan, akhir kalam kita di mana dan bagaimana. Allah maha besar yang mempunyai kuasa menghidup dan mematikan.

Untuk arwah ini adalah khidmat terakhir saya walaupun dengan hati yang berat, berusha menguruskan pekebumian isteri tersayang, ya Allah hanya kau saja yang yahu betapa berat hati ini menanggung ujian ini, process mendapat pelepasan dari kedutaan malaysia merupakan ujian pertama kerana tiada surat sokongan yang lengkap tapi kuasa Allah mengatasi segalanya, beratus kali doa di baca meminta pertolongan Allah dan syukur semua pemasalahan di ringgankan, paling teruji ialah mendapat slot menyembahyang di masjidil haram, syukur segala rintangan yang getir dapat di atasi dengan pertolongan Allah.

Ya Allah hamba Mu bersyukur dapat bersama2 sembahyang jenazah bersama puluhan ribu kemaah.

Khidmat terakir diri ku untuk arwah dari menyusung jasat tersayang ke masjidil haram hinggalah mengangkat jenazah ke lahat, tak dapat menahan airmata dari berlinang namun aku kuatkan semanggat, terasa susah sanggat kali ini untuk mengekalkan semanggat yang hampir2 tiada, sungguh hairan betapa aku yang berjiwa keras ni jadi longlai dan terkapai2 meniti minit2 yang terlalu singkat.

Ya Allah kau tempatkan lah roh isteriku bersama para salihin dan ya Allah tenangkan hati ku dan anak2 berserta org2 yg sayangi beliau. Ya Allah cucurilah rahmat keayas arwah dan kami semua. Ya Allah kau kembalikan lah semanggat waja ku supaya aku dapat mengharungi sisa2 hidup ini. Amin"

Stumbled upon this heart shredding piece by the late Kak Nurul's husband. Its hard to contain these pearly beads from falling.

Fuck This SH

NEVER. In my 30 years of life have I felt quite like this. When I started watching United, Cantona was still plying his trade. That smug on his face. The spiked collar. The air of nonchalance and somewhat arrogant celebration of his. Those images, imprinted so strongly in my mind that the choice was easy. United is the team for me. In a time when there was no Astro, only highlights of games. Cantona's brilliance meant United is my one and only. That was during the 90's. The good old 90's when United really start to stamp their dominance in English football and long to continue.

I was born in an era of United's dominance, or more that I start following them during their successful first charges towards dominance. United that I know is practically an ark, so strong, so sturdy, so resilient so not willing to die without inflicting substantial damages first towards the opponents. 

Days like these are like an alien. These feelings are so alien to me right now.

---

There goes my Isnin. MU seri. Felt more like kalah. In all truthfulness, lebih baik la MU kalah. So that some people may finally open their eyes. So lost am I at words, sampai bila kepala aku terhantuk kat besen kat bilik air pun, aku rasa nak bertumbuk dengan besen tersebut.

United. Oh United. Never in my 30 years of 

---

I refused to edit what ever the fuck that I have typed for. Ah fuck this writing shit. Am done so fucking done. 

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Melayu

The state this country is in. A 12 year old got hit on her head by a golf ball and all we could debate is the fact that she is not a citizen, thus the right for our hospital to refuse treatment for her. 

What ? Why ? How ? 

Saddened doesn't even to begin to describe how the fuckin fuck I feel right now. What happened to us, really what the fuckin fuck happened to us goddamnit ?

A 12 YEAR OLD! Dear God. Save us all from hellfire. 

The state that my race is in right now. We label our fellow human being 'Pak Itam' for being a little darker skinned than us. Macam la kita ni putih sangat. And we treat them like second class human being. As if we are somehow superior in some ways. As if our life is worth more than him in some monetary terms.

The state that my race is in right now. 

An incident witnessed first hand by an Indian friend of mine, a Pakistani guy approached a group of Malay dudes, selling fake leather goods. All of them took a belt each, paid him twenty ringgit, half the original price and they chased the Pakistani guy away. They said to him that the item is fake anyways and he isn't even legal. My good Samaritan friend approached the Pakistani guy and bought a fourty Ringgit wallet for 50 bucks. He refused to take it but my friend insisted and hope that it can erase any sort of grudge they got, if any, towards those guys. The Pakistani guy was overwhelmed. He sat down, said a prayer and cried.

Where does this unfounded superiority complex come from, one can only guess. Tell me when was the last time any Malays have done something that all of us Malaysians, Muslims and Nons alike, can be proud of to grant us such arrogance ?

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

That I Have Arrived


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Its this sort of thing, finding something at the least expected time, at a lesser expected place. My heart was practically tugged seeing that which contains what which contains.

A step is just a step but this is to be the step in which all bridges burned, all second guesses turned. 

An obituary for second thoughts, set stationary are the epitaphs, the tombstone its final resting place.

I have looked forward to this day, yet I cannot say that I have arrived.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Sombre

Today as I was sitting at my workstation, taking off my jacket. The speaker blared an announcement,. Its our HR department.

"Dukacita dimaklumkan bahawa Puan Nurul Asyikin Shuib telah pun kembali ke rahmatullah semalam.."

My chest painful. 

My stomach feel like somebody just tangled all its contents into one big knot. 

It felt unreal.

The smiling Kak Nurul, those droopy eyes with the depth unfathomable as if they know what turbulence is running havoc in your mind right. I won't see that again. I was so distracted, until the voice of the girl manning the counter "Ye Encik, nak apa ?" shake me off my distraction. I had neither the cash nor any idea what did I want for breakfast, hence I left.

Sunday, February 02, 2014

Jackasses

I woke up this morning to find my pillows wetted. I think I was crying a little bit last night. This is so painful. How could this have happened ? After all these times ? My eyes pudgy, blood shot, staying through the course of the night, reminiscing the good times. 

My friends, they care and are worried for me. They asked me how was I holding up and they let it be known that they are there if I should ever feel like talking things through with some going a stretch further than the others. And they didn't exactly make it subtle either. Constantly lingering, ever compassionately reminding me that BEING A UNITED FAN SUCKS NOW.

A club switching form ? Goddamn them.

Mera Nam Joker

Words cannot cannot describe how frustrated I am now. 

OK. Laters.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Serbis

What a jerkin' service. So minimal. Tukar minyak and asked "OK apa lagi ?".

Mental note. Not to go again. After all I went there only because of the free oil filter. Serves me right for my cheapskate ass.

OK. The entry's actually more of a reminder because the fucker who serviced my car was bent in getting me out of the shop as immediately as he can. Either he forgot to stick the 'next service' sticker or the level of service is so bad they don't even have the sticker to begin with. Either way I myself lupa, so again padan muka aku.

Kancilku sayang serviced at the 113th mile, more or less. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

Field of Dreams

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Its hard to take, this. United's probably gonna lose at Stamford Bridge 5 minutes from now, the match is approaching. But win or lose, to the bitter ends.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Those Who Live By The Pen

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Those who live by the pen die under the pain of cliches
Such's the price us Poets traded our souls to pay

In an attempt so futile to please, we instead irate
Longed to be understood yet we mislead so deliberate

In the lights so gay openly we brood
Haven't I said that we live to be misunderstood ?

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Bewildering

"Don't hurt women for they are frail, weak creature. Please stay off my girlfriend. I love her so much"

WHAT ?

That came out unexpected.

Oh, hi, its nice to see you too. Grumbled I, albeit to myself. Regained my composure. My breath controlled and calculated while my mind hectic, trying to connect the dots that were so suddenly thrown in my path. 

Oh, that.

Still.

WHAT THE FUCK ?

Me ? Harassing somebody else's girlfriend ? Well, that's good to fucken' know. Oh, fuck you anyways. Then please tell your girlfriend to not breath so close down my neck, literally. And while you're at it a leash wouldn't sound inhumane too.

So stay off me snowflake, for I am THE Evil itself, reincarnated.

Tet tenenenenet!


Monday, January 06, 2014

I Refuse To Sink

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Another home defeat for United. This time to Swansea. This is getting painful to watch. And tomorrow's Monday and its werk after a week off. How. Why. How the fuck do I start. I don't even know.

Edit:: 3.02 a.m on the clock. Still trying to make sense of this loss.

Some sections of United fans have been slating Moyes from the start of the season. What do I care, those plastics! For me, if you're gonna claim to be a die-hard, shamelessly grinning when the days were bright, you gotta learn to weather the storm too. If you're gonna start getting your panties up in a bunch when things don't go your way. Then you're unfit to call yourself a die-hard. Save that for fair weathers.

Problem is, I think even some of the loyal ones are starting to ask if Moyes is the right man for the job.

Your guess is as good as mine.

But my hunch, rather than certainty tells me he is. United fans have over the years grown spoiled, winning silverwares after another. They've grown to set unrealistic benchmark for their team. All due to the miracle in the form of one Alex Ferguson. Lets face it, he won the league with the likes of Cleverley, Anderson and Carrick as a central midfield line-up, a line-up that is mediocre at best. That's a tall order to ask from any manager, let alone somebody new. That's just Sir Alex for you. A man with the Midas Touch.

But.

He took well over 26 years to come to that level. Moyes hasn't even been in charge one season. He inherited, barring the likes of Persie and Rooney, a mediocre team at best. They may be Champions but I bet Pellegrini or Arsene Wenger would bleed their temples, scratching their heads having to field this team week in week out. That's just the magic that Sir Alex was.

I digressed.

Moyes, given the time, I believe will bring the much celebrated stability that United boasts over the years. But time is a luxury that most modern day managers and owners cannot afford. He will get it right eventually. Time, time, time is of the essence and I cannot cannot stress this enough.

I'm willing to go as far as to give him 3 trophy-less seasons, though hopeful of Champions League qualifications. Sit back, its going to be a really bumpy ride but I believe faith will take us far and reward us handsomely.

But till that time come, I'm still grievin. ={

Cut me up and I still bleed Red.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Damnit!

I confess to being at times, a little mellower than I'd like to admit. But tell me WHO THE FUCK CUTS HIS ONIONS AT THIS POINT OF TIME IN THE AFTERNOON ? Nobody!

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Making my eyes tearing up and shit. Damnit!

Friday, January 03, 2014

Probably

This is what happens when its 4 something in the morning and your brain decides that counting sheeps is too mainstream a thing, and thinking (overthinking) is a 'thing'. Creative inflow of thoughts in neither sequential nor logical order. They just randomly appear one thing after the other.

So a cheesy collage maybe ? Why the heck not.

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So in the collage above that was probably me, probably Island Hopping in probably an island somewhere probably in the Northern state of Malaysia. Probably with a new hat and probably a new pair of probably RED crocs. Ciplak of course.

Edit: Island hopping was probably nice. An island surrounded by salt water and in the middle of her belly a freshwater lake. Awesome brilliant! (me running out of adjectives) Taktau berenang ? Tak jadi masalah. At ten Ringgit, an overpriced life jacket can be rented out from the nearest peddler. So why the heck not ? Probably.

Edit's edit: Island Hopping consists of 3 activities in total. Pulau Dayang Bunting with the freshwater skinny dipping. Tengok and bagi makan Helang and lepaking at Pulau Beras Basah, FYI.

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Two, one of my bestest pal is getting married today. My feelings are jumbled into a pile of mess, weepy substance, remnants of what's left of masculinity inside of me. Happy for him that he's found the one. Sad on the other that things may never be the same again. Probably, its just me. I'm a Melan Choly fucker like that.

Hafiz, congratulations on your wedding and good luck in your future undertakings. You're one of the most upstanding guy I have ever met and she is lucky to have landed you.

And one thing not many people may know about him is that he loves his grass to the point of trying to befriend them as can be seen from the picture below:

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Either that or he was trying to cover up the fact that he was farting. Nice try Hafiz. Nice try.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

..of Folders & Stuffs.


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You have a folder in my heart.
The one I can't unclick when we're bytes apart.

Haq :)

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Painful

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There's so many things I wanna say right now. But truth is United just isn't playing how United should be. What hurts even more is to see your fans succumb to that defeatist attitude too. Yes it hurts, yes we're not used to these conditions. Back to back defeat at Old Trafford is just something quite unheard of in Sir Alex Ferguson's era. But isn't it our job as fans to lift our team when things are down ? Fuck you fair weather fans. You cheer wholeheartedly while things are going United way and you leave as soon things go down.

But I won't. I was there when things were good, am still here when things are down. And I will be there when things are looking up again. Trust me on that.

David Moyes is still the man for the job.

These. Are testing times.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Never Is A Long Time


I'll be realistic. 

I don't think United will win this coming Sunday's game against flavour of the week, Arsenal. Everybody talks about how silky smooth this team is. Well, it is true that they posses one the most entertaining midfield line up in the Premier League. Worthy of envy especially to someone like me who cringed at the lack of fluidity in the middle of the park for United.

BUT.

Wouldn't it be nice to smother their faces with their own words if United being United, unpredict-fucken-able and being the only team you write off at your own ignorant peril. If there's one thing these loudmouths should have learned watching United over the years, it is always too premature to count the eggs before they actually hatch.

"You NEVER win anything with kids"

Alan Hansen epitomized just how unpleasant the taste of your own words could be.

So sit back. 

United's got nothing to lose. Everybody's practically written us off. Even our own fans. So what do we have to lose ? Well yeah, bragging rights. But that simply means we should be able to play without chips on our shoulders. I just hope that Moyes will not resort to his usual 'safe' defensive style that I think has clearly been proven too risky.

Attack.

Offense is ALWAYS the best mode of defense. Especially with teams with mediocre midfield like United.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Sorrows


In this pain I writhe
With this wrath I breath

I did not found solitude
It found me. Vulnerable & nude.

Pissed at visibly everything
And angry at apparently nothing.

Storm passes, worse is what follows
Flood ceases, subplot to what's tomorrow

Go away.

Let me drown in my sorrows.

Lead Me Astray


Numbers are overrated. For I found more company in solitude.

Leave me alone.

At the bottom of these feelings.

Entrapped within the abyss of this unfathomable altitude.

Hence engulfed within Wrath of this magnitude.

Friday, October 04, 2013

A Day In My Life

Started the day working out. Workouts release dopamine that brings about happiness, supposedly. So I was whistling my way to the office. The weather couldn't be nicer. Rays of sunlight pierced through my polarized Zara shades. And my Alpine Bluetooth car stereo was blaring one of my favorite songs.

Niceness.

But just as I was stepping on the gas of my newly equipped turbo-charged Kancil to max pedal, simply because I like how it goes, the car right in front of me, in fact, lines of cars in front of me, came to a sudden halt. Many a times have I been told the current braking system that I'm employing just doesn't cut it to cater the new found power under the hood.

So the cars came to a sudden halt, and there I was braking and braking since my approximation estimates that I wouldn't make it in time to stop the car totally - hence I had to maneuver the car to the left, practically wobbling about all the while my front tyres were screaming and screeching so loudly that I bet people around must have thought there was already an accident or something. But thanks be to Allah that nothing happened. I was left to wonder alone and crooking a smile - from a seemingly anonymous feelings. Something in between embarrassment and being proud. Weird. But that's exactly how the crooked smile felt.

So I reached the office with nothing eventful after that. And yes, true to what they say, workouts do make you happy. Especially morning ones. So I was feeling hyper, practically greeting, hand-shaking, winking everybody that I met along the way. Settling long-pending outstandings and ticking off checklists. 

That was until the very moment I forwarded an email to Finance Department. An email I took almost 2 hours to craft. Dilly dallying between direct and subtle finger-pointing to Finance. Don't wanna piss these people off, but at the same time I'm tired of taking unnecessary fall for things I do not know about. The fault was Finance's. But the challenge was to craft that email so artfully that Finance will think that it was a compliment.

I spent almost 2 hours perfecting the correspondence, all in the good name of the unit and all in the name of resolving bullshits. To manage things so subtle, I tried my hardest not to piss anyone off in the process. And all I got in return from my immediate superior was the loudest yell of my name and a good, straight to the heart scolding. 

THANK YOU. But FUCK YOU.

With mouth so uninsured, you'd think that I have a heart made of steel. But no. Hell no. I take scoldings especially from my superiors like a sore loser. I hate being scolded. Because I'm special. And go fuck yourself if you can't live with that. I have NEVER been scolded EVER in my professional years and I will NEVER be ready for one.

I'm not the problem. YOU picking fights with practically everybody and feeling lousy about it later is symptom enough for this hypothesis. Hence stop trying to find a solution for the trouble that YOU are. Its like trying to locate an ant's anus from 93,000,000 miles away from the face of the earth. That's the sun's distance for you intellectually challenged chaps out there.

Sheep, lambs, goats but WHO's counting ?

Thursday, September 26, 2013

This Is Making Me Sad..

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My nephew posting a picture with spitting image of his late father. I wonder what he must feel. Does he miss his dad ? Does he wish at times he could talk to him ? About girls, about the many dreams he must have.. I wonder. Makes me teary, this.

I cannot cannot imagine the kind of pain one at such a tender age has to go through. Wanting to talk to that somebody. So badly. But you just can't.

Farhan mesti nak cerita dekat Ayah that he wishes to follow his footsteps. Suka main bola. Sangat-sangat. Farhan mesti rasa nak Ayah could hug him and just tell him that everything will be just fine.

All the things he wishes to say. All the father-son things they never get to do..

Friday, September 13, 2013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Like A Song

Current Listen: Lenka - Like A Song.mp3 

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Sometimes I have this unexplainable, sudden stab of melancholics. My thoughts wondered towards you. Here's to my Proverbial Dominatrix: May we never have to feel like this again. The temporal stint of us being apart was one of the darkest moments of my life.

I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head

And how I regret, it's been so long
Oh, what went wrong ? Could it be something I said ?

Time, make it go faster or just rewind
To back when I'm wrapped in your arms

All afternoon long it's with me the same song
You left a light on inside me, my love

I can remember the way that it felt to be
Holding on to you

I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head

And how I regret, it's been so long
Oh what went wrong ? Could it be something I said ?

Time, make it go faster or just decide
To come back to my happy heart

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

HA-HAQ


Haq.

This. Am trying my best to sound poetic.
Before You, poets crash & burn with rate so frenatic

Poeticism is thus an attempt for the meek
For nothing nothing comes close to depict

The one and only, my Proverbial Dominatrix

Thousand miles away from what my heart held so close.
And THIS smile is what I want the most.



Monday, August 12, 2013

Paris, The Dream

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Here's one good reason why I thought Paris is such a dreamy place..

Nothing good comes out of staying up past the normal hours. I heard Ted told his kids in How I Met Your Mother.

So here's a list of crazy things, well they are not necessarily crazy per se, just the impulsiveness of the thoughts, they make me think of well doing it right away. So here's a list of crazy things I thought I should do right away while forcing my eyelids not to shut. (I am EXHAUSTED yet I refuse to sleep for I am stingy with my times. Esp. late at night)

Say, withdraw whatever amount of money I have right now in my saving anywhere, Tabung Haji, Maybank whatever, and just go to England and hit any match, I mean any match that is currently being held in the Old Trafford. And I would ask / force / threaten Kurik to come and watch United with me regardless of how disgusted he is with United.

Or.

Just draw as much money as I can get and just backpack to Paris. Put on some winter coats and a scarf (the fashionable manly ones!) around my neck. A pair of cheap sunglasses to go then play tourist around the city and find hidden angles around the city that I can view THE Eiffel Tower from and shamelessly snap loads and loads of selfies that is backdropped by the majesty of the tower. The romance.

Or.

That I should quit my job right away and become a very successful miniature Star Wars figurine trader. I know how people love these stuffs. What I dunno and what I carefully chose not to know is how hard it is to make them or where will I get 'em. Fuck it. Not stopping me from dreaming anyways.

And really I really really need to sleep right now.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

The Closest We Have Come In Contact With Aliens Yet

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I have been receiving these annoying calls and texts that started up a little bit like this...

The phone rang. I answered and it was a lady. The first thing she asked was "Who's this ?"

I was pretty amused yet a little pissed, hence I retorted, initially planning to shoot off my mouth due to the audacity on her part but successfully toned down my reply to "You were the one who called me, I should be the one who asked you the question"

That was a week when I made a whole lot of inquiries regarding the online sales for a Plasma television set that I have been dreaming to set on the wall of my bedroom (and my living room when I move out of the house, but more on that later). So I suspected it was one of the seller. But later events unfolded prove it was none of my initial suspicions.

So the little drama ended just like that. And I thought that was the last I was gonna hear about it.

A few days later I received a couple of calls from the same digits. Annoyed I ignored most of them. And when it's become too rampant - too many calls and consecutive blank texts, I asked her "Who's this ?"

And her reply was even shorter or non existent. I have to admit having a stalker cum admirer do has its perks. Boosts my ego like no tomorrow.

But this is getting annoying. She called me again just now, and yet again due to my malas-ness nak angkat, I texted her, after ignoring the call. "WHO IS THIS ?"

What comes next really got on my nerve. She had the gall to tell me "Don't ask too many questions, just turn on your phone, you'll know"

I was like, firstly, the phone has always been on. Secondly who the fuck are you again ? So in my attempt to infuriate her, I asked her - AGAIN - WHO IS THIS ?

I could really use some ideas right now on how further infuriate it.

Yes. IT.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

B&W

Sometimes I sit all alone in the evening and wonder how life would be if we only have Black & White.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Tootache

Lazy as hell but just have to post this. So that I'll remember. 

I dunno what's with me. Every year during Ramadhan. There will be a day I fall gravely ill, so to speak. Not fatal, Alhamdulillah. Rather, more about the state I was in. The gravely pain.

The pain was just... Unbearable is exaggerating it. But God.. There were times I feel like crushing my own jaw due to the pain. I was sleepless. 

Totally sleepless the night before. 

I had to run to the clinic at 4 in the morning and riding my bike in the process while the world felt like doing extra turns with every coming minute. Finally arrived and the doctor looked more interested in furthering his shut-eyes rather than his patient. Couldn't blame him really, its 4 friggin a.m! Though that little piece of rationality didn't stop me from feeling like shoving his face in, facially reconstructing it for him.

So yesterday was one of my annual 'gravely sick' day during Ramadhan. Seriously, it's become an affair per annum for I dunno how many consecutive years already.

Edit: Seriously, like seriously, I'm thinking of having a 'Annual Ramadhan Gravely Sick' label if I got sick again next year! (hopefully I would be able to see one, Insha Allah)

P/S: And in lieu of that thought, you just cannot but think about a deceased friend, a recently deceased one. Al-Fatihah. I hope you're doing fine out there, old friend. 

P/S/S: Sedih.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

To Intrigue

I walk, in solitude and in solitary I walk. Soldiering personal battles. Battle hardened. But I tremble at the silhouette off the edge of the horizon. Mutiny. The wheels of emotion set in motion to betray which long have I barricaded in between cages of these ribs. Befuddled I was and lo! Shit this wasn't meant to be, for I have entered this war, hell bent to intrigue.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

:)

There are certain people in your life you just can't hide anything from. They just know something is up. And you're left to chuckle at your own naivete for thinking you've done a hell of a tremendous job at covering your tracks and erasing your trace. This. You can't help but smile.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Thoughtsa Tweets

If I have loved you, then you wouldn't know.

..or something.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Raven. The Anthem.

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I love rooting for the underdogs. That's why ravens fascinate me. 

They're considered evil, bringing bad luck, unwanted, pests and as if those are not good enough reason not be a crow, they are shot at at the behest of the humans. Whenever WE feel necessary. Cruel humans.

Arrogant humans.

Typical humans. Quick to point fingers to external factors but never looking inside to find the answers. Always the victim, never our fault.

But against such incredible odds, ravens survive and even thrive. Ravens are a living proof that you do not need to be celebrated to succeed in this life. Matter of fact is, your success, your glories are much sweeter when the whole world just lovesss to hate - YOU.

Raven. The Anthem.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Cryptic Thoughts

Something, both enigmatic and ambiguous. Bullets would pierce through your brain much easier. Cracking your head wide open decrypting, is more than an understatement, henceforth.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

30th April 2008


For all the things I did not say. For all the things I did not mean to say. For all the things I won't be able to say. I hate you. Goddamnit I hate you but I love you buddy.

Here's me missing a friend.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Grieving

"Appreciate every mixtape your friends make,
You never know we come and go like on the interstate"

- Gym Class Heroes

Farewell Old Friend II

We were close at one point. Very close. But a patchy relationship ensues a few years back. But once in a while we still go lepak and enjoy a cup of coffee laughing at our days of being stupid together. And once in a while we still enjoy a smoke or two together. But I felt that he's grown too different to make the hanging out together more frequent. He must've felt that I changed too. But him being the annoyingly lovable idiot he was, the dude just kept pouring in harassing messages and calls. Of which I was ever indifferent about.

Until the very last night before his eternal departure, he was texting me. And I..

Dear God.

My eyes misted, all over again.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Farewell Old Friend


This morning a friend of mine passed away on his way to the office. He got involved in a car accident. And I just got back from his funeral. So many words to say but I'm just too overwhelmed with feelings right now.

Hence a teary goodbye and Al-Fatihah should suffice.

Friday, June 07, 2013

HAQ

I woke up this morning practically dragging my feet to work
Tried to conjure a fake smile and left a lot to be desired

I spent many a dreadful days & a thousand sleepless nights
I'm a Ying without a Yang. A left without its right.

Days blurred between each other as clocks tick but time froze
I need you, your smile hence your every being & I need them close.

Many things I am, being perfect was never my greatest virtue
But I've loved you with my every breath, that much I knew's true.

I'm arrogant, selfish, emotional and I start fights even when undue
But in between louds, in silence hence I retreat and there was only YOU.

I spent many a dreadful days & a thousand sleepless nights
I'm a Ying without a Yang. A left without its right.

Days have never been so gloomy, nights never so rough
Haq, I need you beside me. Goddamn I MISSED my Better Half.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Soul Searches

I have a severe problem of communicating how I feel at a needle-point accuracy, so to speak, verbally. I find solace under the shelter and might of the pen. I have always envied ones with a tongue so eloquent they manage to convey WHAT they want and WHEN they need to exactly in the right amount of words and just enough vocavulgarity (ies) without ever having to sidetrack to profanity.

Mak said I was probably slightly neglected during my earliest childhood. My sister was born when I was barely a year they said. But March 3, 1984 to November 11, 1985, I think that makes up about 1 year and 8 months ++. Still was there lack of attention that I have this problem of expressing myself ?

I have always felt somewhat short in the art of what my colleague would call the Taichi. The masterful art of deflecting hits and redirecting it to someone else first before finding out the facts and figures yourself, of which, by that particular time, the attention has winded down so much, it might as well had never happened.

Hence during my early years with my current employer, I always have to write down what and how I feel to make sense of things, I wrote down every last details of the affair. I had to dig and I had to dig deep. And lo,  it makes so much more sense when I write them down. I was able to dissect what and how I feel compared to just feeling enraged ALL THE FUCKEN TIME. 

Yes, rage. Very productive.

I had no idea how to solve things, therefore I break them. Its not that I discard the art of effective communication altogether, its just that by the time I do employ them, the tone will almost always be slightly higher than what's required to be effective. Thus, there's no such thing as anti climax ending to my confrontations. They always have to be either 'hideous' ugly or they never happened to have an ending.

Last but not least. Fruitful discussions and effective communications are all pretty, only you happened to be ugly. So pardon me not when I snap.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pet Lion

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Someday I wish to have a pet lion. Look at that serene expression. So wise and calm.

Monday, May 06, 2013

٠٥٠٥

Bangsaku... What have we become. The arrogance. The sort of arrogance that let us think we have a legitimate right to tell our "DLL" (Dan lain-lain) Malaysian counterparts, "Go home, if you don't like it here..", "Go back to China where you belong..". If history had taught us anything, its that, arrogance is the beginning of the fall of an empire.

What sort of birthright legitimacy we think we possess to chase away these perceived 2nd class citizens from their homes ? Their ancestors might have descended from Manchuria themselves, yet their children, much like us had called Malaysia their home ever since birth. Exactly like you and me. We have grown much too arrogant. Just because we are lucky to be born in the family of first generation Malays doesn't mean all that much when and if we were to see the world through their perspectives.

It could have been you and me.

But its them.

This sort of hair thin advantage had led us to think we have a divine right to strangle their rights, how ?

And I..

I.

505

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"Apabila nasib yang Celik ditentukan oleh yang Buta"

Friday, May 03, 2013

The Grim Weeper

Following the post about the fugly fucker that imitated Jones' reaction during United's derby defeat. Here's my reply. Late, yes. But I savour my adversaries' defeat for a long long long time. I just found that out. Surprise surprise. I'm vengeful after all. So my apologies if I may have intentionally mislead you to think otherwise.

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What ? Fucking what ?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

..ends at Never.


Loving you is a journey that starts with Forever and ends at Never.


Source: piccsy.com viaKatie on Pinterest

Thursday, March 07, 2013

United - We Never Die

It was gonna happen. Sooner rather than later. United's run of games has been near flawless. Having watched United for years, I've come to be accustomed with sloppy runs and scrappy wins. A series of what unearthly fuckers haters would call, luck, but we'll get to that later. 

So as I was saying, having watched United for years, I've been so used to United last minute wins consisting of an endless 1-0 scoreline. Lucky calls. Fergie Association. Bla bla blah. Yada yada yada. This time, however, United have managed to pull wins, almost out of the hat even when playing like fucken shit 99% of the time. 

Perhaps I'd jinxed it. I was almost afraid because everything was going too well! And there it goes, my spidey sense had been true all along. The repeat of the 2010's exit from the Cup...

The ref just had to have the final say. The game was going so well and going in the direction of United. I almost couldn't believe my eyes as United wreaked havoc to a Real team fresh from inflicting 2 defeats in a row to the immaculate Barca, so to speak.

Just like it was in 2010, you can't help but feel robbed. Your team played so well against clear favourites, the ref just had to come and ruin it. I was bitter for a couple of days. But boy, am I proud. 

It will always be a question of "What if.." but there shall be no answer in that. The boys played their hearts out. Giggsy at 40 is just inhuman. How in the hell did he relive the heydays of his 20's and reverse the greys in his hair is anybody's guess. But they made me proud.

One of the most glaring flaw of United, one which is also the reason I hold United so dear to my heart is its ultra-attacking minded approach. Indoctrinated within the United genes, it dictates that they attack and attack even when down to 10 men with ruthlessness and vigor of a team who had burnt the bridges and would never go back. 

And for that I am proud, the bitterness gone. I now know that THE better team lost that night. 

That, if you aint too shallow minded to begin with, will answer why it was never really luck which has brought this fortune. It is simply the sheer hatred for losing and the never say die attitude.

United. We never die.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Padan Muka Kau

You know its hard to be graceful in the moment of glory. More so when the shit fuck faced opponents you beat is the disgrace of a shit club. A club of whom their fans talk like rights to glories is a divine right. Theirs. 

When in reality - or - if they're ever willing to get their heads out of the poop they get their heads so deep in. Theirs is a story inscribed in the pages of history textbooks. Ones students yawn upon just by a mere mention.

Yet, these pathetic scums will never shy away from reminding you that they're somehow the superior team. Always. Of course, this is a fact they will not admit out right. But what the fuck are you insinuating raising the 'five' sign whenever cornered ? 

And not to mention cornered due to the fact that you fail to keep your mouths shut in the moment of others' gloom. Spew craps all you want if you're top of the table. But when you're half way down there, don't bother talk shit because people will start to peep behind your doors wondering if your life is oh so perfect.

To me, and barring a few, Liverstool fans are.. Well doesn't matter.

I don't feel sorry for you. I won't. Whatever fucken shit you receive you deserve. So I wanna take this time out and wish the Liverstool fans, aside for a few exception to the rules - people around me - families, relatives and close friends who support Liverstool - Padan muka. 

With all those Howard Webb favouring United talks. He failed to produce Johnson with the second yellow for obstruction of a clear goal opportunity.

Ah malas aku nak pikir. Padan muka and fuck you. You deserve every inch of the humiliation because you fail to contain your mouths when it matters.

Hoyeah I'm happy. Beating you fair or not will always bring me a pleasure I will savour for days to come. And I simply want to rub this win on your face and I don't even want to bother sugarcoating it for your ears.

So hear it from me raw - Padan muka kau kalah. Tu la lengkali memekak lagi macam the chimpanzee that you are. Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh karg.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

My First English Encounter

A guy in his mid 40's made a proposition to a female colleague, "I'll give you 200 bucks if you'd have sex with me. I'll be done as soon as I handed you the money."

The woman, repulsed by such outward profanity stomped off in disgust without any thoughts.

Back home, she told her boyfriend about the whole incident. And the boyfriend, bemused, decided to teach the pervert a lesson and play along. "Don't worry, how long do you think it'll take for him to hand over the 200 bucks ? You'll be done be even before your pants is off!"

The woman hesitated for a while and finally agreed, what better way to teach this pervert a lesson and make some quick bucks while at it. "There's no downside!" She thought.

So the next day, the boyfriend drops the woman in front of the office, winking, he told her to take the son of a bitch's money and make a run for it.

An hour later, the woman, looking dejected, finally comes out of the building. Her boyfriend asks "What happened ? What took you so long ?"

The woman retorted "THE BASTARD paid me in coins!"

Moral: Make sure you understand a business proposition before agreeing to it. 

Its not mine by the way. I remember I read it somewhere years ago. Dunno where. I remember it so well, well, of course, there's the sex them which isn't so hard to recall. Second its one of the first encounter with English. Meaning it was one of the first English joke I could laugh at. Which, OMG I'm shocked I have to even explain this - It means its one of the first joke out of half a million ones I read and understand. Ngerti ? Heheh.

Laters fucken' skaters.