" Saya Sebuah Blog "
"I love my country, only do i hate the slobs who lead it to - Astray"

Rainy day has never fail to associate me with sorrows & loneliness

Saya dilahirkan di sebuah minda yang tidak mahu dipenjara. Oh, puitis sungguh. Saya berumur, ermm, biar saya kira.. satu, dua, ah sape pedulik. Tuan saya seorang yang penyayang lagi berkaki lebar, err maksud saya, berkaliber. Kami gemar menghabiskan masa lapang kami dengan menonton Cerekarama dan juga termenung di tasik-tasik sambil mencari ilham untuk meng-pinpoint dunia. Tuan saya mempunyai suatu persepsi yang sangat berbeza tentang dunia, sekurang-kurangnya saya fikir begitu.

Setelah hampir xx tahun kami bersama, saya mulai terasa perubahan-perubahan terhadap layanan yang saya terima, kami tidak lagi makan semeja seperti dulu-dulu. Malahan adakalanya beliau juga bertindak kejam dengan meniggikan suara beliau terhadap saya.

Raizzen's Note of Oblivious :

I cant proceed, the more i do, the more the seeming puke would seem inevitable. Its just that i've just suddenly stumbled upon the cluster of my primary school memories, in which, this nature of writing is my favourite and my advantage.. or so i would like to think. Notice how the end of this type of composition will typically be the demise of the narrator. How childish, LOL.

Oh, reminiscence is schweet.

Stagnate Motions.
Current Listen : Blackstreet - In A Rush.mp3

Am afraid of motions. I stay in motion while wishing that time is stagnate. I wish that the hands of time are stagnate so that i can sort things out while not having to move on. Its so painful having to move along while the weight of my shouldered burdens is a company in the windy path. Am so afraid of motion that i dare stop not any movements, i dare not struggle. Paranoid of the fragility of every motion. And so i was and still am there, being the faihful spactator of the whole event while my hands shaking on temptations to stop the ruckus, and unfortunately i forgot how to spell..

GUTS.

So here i am - feeling Dread-fooled.

The end ? Trust me, i hope not.

Beautifyingly Stupifying.
Current Listen : The Cranberries - Ode To My Family.mp3
Ice creams are natural beauty, but stupifying. They cost you your tooth !

Beautifyingly Stupifying.

Beautifyingly Stupifying v 2.0

Beautifyingly Stupifying v 3.0

The peoples. Ones i care about & the otherwise.

The oblivious teens making out. Sheeshhh.

The totally oblivious.

I luved words, their meanings, their potential interpretations by individuals i met along the windy ways. In very much ways, words are tools of experiment. Words are essential part of my dull life. But since a picture tells a thousand words, i think i've said more than i should.

Enjoy !

Raizzen

The Standars 3.0
Current Listen : N/A
Fuck off !

Know what ? I just feel like cussing, so here it is :

P . U . K . I . M . A . K

Nice ?

Was going to reformat the Hard disk that was lend to me by my nice cousin. But the Pukimakly haps chose to show itself now out of so many alternatives. The XP Installer corrupt like government firms. DVD burner - Crash & Burn. Validations seeked were temprorily given & permanently confiscated. Self worth elevates high and falls at the very constant rate it's raised.

At times like this, slumping my body upon a couch or something would be the thing i'd prefer to do.

My morale shatters & evaporates.

Drowns,

Raizzen

The Standards 2.0
Current Listen : Hinder - Better Than Me.mp3

Am at the very bottom of my feeling. I feel am not worthy of anything, anything at all. Am messed up.

Why am i in such a constant pain ? This must be God's way in getting back to the sinner i am. My eyelids - lowered. My shoulders - slumped. Who am i ? What am i seeking for ? What worth do i posesess in the eyes of the mass. I somehow felt like the answer lies out there, merely a grasp away, hence, i pressed on, but am still just clasping airs.

I want and am willing to supplicate in return but i found out that my pockets are always empty. So much wants, so much to live for & a handful to die for - but the Inadequacy prevails still.

Am prefusely bleeding while most is oblivious, and a handful others turn another cheek.

Breaking,

Raizzen

The Standards 1.0
Current Listen : None
Current Read : Confidential
Fucked.

Woke up this morning and feeling fucked up. An unanswered call, two (2) messed up attempts last night. Sighs. Am going to KL today, checking out the chicks. LOL

Low Yatt Plaza & chicks.. Do you think thats a good combination ? Hell yea, that is IF you're, let me spell it for you here, no, no, dont thank me, am just nice like that -

R E T A R D . get it ? Damn toodles.

The nicely Schweet,

Raizzen

The Feeling of A Mere Being, The Mere Being of A Feeling..
Deep ? Hell no, am just crappin'
Current Listen : The Fray - How To Save A Life.mp3

KLCC.. morning view, wet, fresh & vulnerable. I present it to you from the corridor of Seri Maya condo.

Got an invitation to a dinner at Mandarin Oriental, am pretty excited since it was ages ago have I stepped my foot on the nice floor of KLCC. Well plusses, the chicks will be a nice way to get rid off the dust from my eyes as well. Dont you think ? Shmuck.

This birthday might just be the best birthday i've ever had.

Celebrated my 23rd Birthday on 3rd of March ago. No special post to accompany, was too occupied; - with almost Nothing. The 23rd Birthday might just be the most special so far, a number of well wishes & a card. A 'belanja makan' by Boss. Niceness. Am not asking much out of life, and am greatful to have been celebrated the way i was around the magical date. Thank you all, thank you so much for being vital parts in the making of the 23rd version of my smart self.

Thanx.

Oddity At Odd Hours
Weird Stumble upons Part II

N ever once did i ever look at someone with the way you got my eyes set
O h man, how i fuckin hate the day i'll be forced to be used to forget
R easonings are the mere excuses to get my eargerness ampliefied
H ence, i create every possible reasons so my presence around u'd be justified
I bleed and drown in the sea of of crimson, unseen to most naked eyes
D ays're now numbered & my whole life's at the very disposal of a toss for a dice
A n angel you are, the one with a scythe, ironically, i felt lucky for a victim
Y ou inflicted not any slash, yet the scars are permanent, or so they seem..
A dreadful demon that's treated me with compassion, yet effortlessly whispers " i'll kill you "
H atred or Love, allow me a place within your heart, even a tiny dot will do..

Yet another laymee piece i wrote a few years (?) ago. Well a tad too wacky, weak & helpless if you ask me. Absolutely not the image i projected of myself within my superior sights. Just thought that i'd share it anyways. Serves as a point of reminder - of my Idiocy.

* Disclaimer : Edited 1 time in total

" Yea I Talk Shits, While Your Lips Keeps Bumpin' To Bums That Produce Them "
Fuck you, thus.

Current Listen : Fergie - Glamorous.mp3

Am feelin' fuckingly miserable. Shits, i feel unappreciated. I feel like shits. I feel i dont wanna fucking feel anything. Shits. Am frustrated. The wordly ways of expressing my fucking feelings now dont appeal to me very much. All i wanna do now is raise my index finger's neighbour that happens to be in the middle of all five fingers attached to my hand.

Babi.

I wanna cuss so much. I got my whole sanity at my disposal now, and no, i dont want help. Let me drown in this madness. I pray that no one will cross path with me while im in this fuck-up state.

I have, finally, come to a realization while i was havin my ass seated on the porcelain bowl just now that :

" A man without a scroll is a man with nothing " - My Smart Self

Quote me on that.

Its mostly true, though not applicable to everyone.

I used to be so fuckin' rational about this seniority thinggy, hell yea, i can be damn rational, i was a junior myself at that prickin' particular time. I used to be like " Hey, why the fuck that these dumarses are makin so much fuckin noise about their juniors overtakin' them, i'd acknowledge it, should it be me .. ". Now am paying the price of smirks that life has conjour upon my sorry ass. I knew that the day'd finally come when this boy will overtake me, what i didnt know though, was, i've never thought that it'd be so damn swift. Heh, talkin about the importance of education and - The Impotence - without it. Man, life smirks a lot. I mean a lot. What saddens me more is that i know am fully capable and am ways fuckin' better than most clerks do. Its no jea-lousy, i insist, but Hey, cant help but be frustrated. The presence of a mere being of human i am, shows on an apparent state - at times like this.

Education might appear pointless for a while, well let it go & no loss is bored upon no one, but us.

Odd Hours & Feelings
Weird stumble-upons, but Hey..
Current Listen : Nelly Furtado - Say It Right.mp3

Abondoned by the ones responsible for my existance in this world /
Forgotten the face of misery, but i recall the cynical smirks of survival /
Life's about ups & downs but i've only managed to view it from below /
Lightless nights are child's play, i've seen the darkest of sorrow /
Masses saw me as a form of insgnificance, so i seek proof of my existance /
Reducing to dusk their physicals and i pulverize their presence /
How cheap - lives to me, are merely carcasses with soul attached to them /
The world itself is an infperfection - a cycle of junked & patched System /
Im just playing my part in this cycle, getting rid of decomposing containers /
I victimized not the innocents, but too bad, the whole world's a sinner /
I've never been fascinated by bloody crime scenes, i prefer my victims clean /
Instead of cutting through their flesh, i strangled them with their intestines /
Nothing pleases me more than the look of terror written on their faces /
I found zenith on the abyss of agony - joy that i cant describe in phrase /
Mentally de-ranged, while on the outside i might be the one you're talking to /
"Sit tight honey, dont worry about dinner, your liver's more than enough for 2" /

* Stumbled upon the piece i wrote back about like a year or 2 ago, pretty weird piece, am even surprised this was a piece of mine. Purely fictional, toodles, im greatful for what beautiful parents i have.