Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Epitome of Idiocy.
Nota Kaki : The Prophecy of Doom to our World !

Rewritten this fucking entry for almost i dont wanna fuckin know how many times. Gi mampus. Fuck am exhausted. And plusses feeling at the bottom of my feeling. Am fuckin angry and I dunno how to express it unlike certain so called fuckin colleague ? Colleague my fuckin' ass. Die out. And die out quick.

The bitch has managed to piss me off and getting away with it for far too long. Any dude that knew me long enough know that I am a fuckin reasonable head. I dont lose my head too easily. But this fuckin Dog poop is a total exception. Who the fuck do you think you are to wave your fingers at me and expect me to run and lick your shoe's bottom ?

Oh what the flying fuck, she manages to make it sound so tragic and sad that I'm being rude to her. Oh my superior bought that ! And I, could've only helplessly smirk and hiss at her being oh so dramatic. lol. Sob Drama Queen. We luv ya, really. Therefore, go fuck yerself. And that smirk and hiss, in front of my boss, wont do me any justice in her oh so dramatic false claims. In which I manage to get a nice remark in return " That, is one the sign of being rude ". lol. Am Genius !

I regret not the things Ive said and done, only that I wish that I didnt lose my head. Coz man I really lose it... :(

Idiots piss me off. :((

Fuck them.

At the end of the day, The Blog, is still the best of my lonely company..

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Idealism. Nota Kaki : This is as real as it could be, mcm Cerekarama, tapi bukan.
Our wishes and hopes are childish idealism, faced against the harsh surface of Reality. Us, fragile humans are bound to succumb to horrendous pitfalls. At times, we could never go back, back to something that was us.

A friend of mine was dreading at his seeming fault, running through self inflicted mental torture, blaming himself on things he thought he did. Weeping and having no one to hear your tears. Painful. I know the dude, obnoxious, arrogant, hoo-haa, I-Dont-Give-A-Flying-Fuck type asshole. But he weeped. He weeped for the girl.

Was I taken aback for the fact that he cried & dread so much, and alone for the fact. He wasn't him when i was talking to him yesterday. The dude's messed up and most of the time lost his points and direction. So much so at times, i had to tell him to shut up and let me make my points first. And the arrogant bastard did too, and EVEN THANK ME later for that. Shocking ? Tell me about it.

Belanja him drinks, asked him to sit and even bring the beverage to the table in my shallow attempt of making the session as comfortable as I can for him. (Oh, I don't usually do this for gentlemen, mind you, so all ya fucken' Gheys, bugger off now !)

S : I've got a girlfriend of hrmm, from 2001 to 2008, how long is that ?
Me : Wow. Thats erm, around 6 - 7 years man !
S : Yea, that long. * long pause *
Me : Now relax, and tell me what happen dude..
S : She's engaged dude, to someone else..
Me : What the Fu-, what happen man ?
S : We got involved in an accident. Both of us..
Me : Uh-huh. * nods nods *

The ramblings went on and I pretty much garnered that the blames are on his shoulder, as he asserted his guilt after every few words he spilled. But in the midst of the messed up state he was in, he was as resolute as a man who's willing to gamble everything, including his life, in a single turn of wheels and put everything behind, for the girl. He's already got a one way ticket to Terengganu, though the Definite Major Purpose of him going there, wasn't properly defined, I know in his heart, he needs to see the girl, and the girl FIRST, before anything else. I was moved, though a little skeptical on the lack of planning in the little plan of his.

I told him that he's got my full support and he's not alone in this. I will back whatever decision that he's come and will come to, so long as the decisions are made within the borders of Rationality. Not maneuvered by neither his anger nor frustration.

I told him to go run and get her back.

But as idealistic as we were, deep in my heart I know that Reality isn't as nice as we would've hoped for. The damage has been done and it will take more than the distance of the travelling to undo the fix. Thus, i reminded him that nothing, NOTHING is guaranteed to work 100 % as we would idealistically hope for. That first. Secondly, the damage is already on its semi-permanent stage, if not permanent, hence, the travelling and the assuring processes might take a while, tiring and sometimes seemingly pointless, but maybe, just maybe, if we put enough faith, even a frozen ocean might melt into a flowing sea again. Oh saya sungguh puitis !

To be, or not to be continued. My preference. :D



Sunday, February 17, 2008

" Why Do Fireflies Depart So Soon ? "
Nota Kaki : Some quotes from Notes From The Underground

They shone. And begone. Far to Oblivion,
Lighted our Life with the scarcity of theirs,
Brighten the face of ours in the darkness they face -

They came around too late,
And they depart too soon,
"And now am dreading,
Taunting myself,
With bitter,"
Useless, Question..

Asking " Why do Fireflies depart so soon ? "

In the smiling memories of -

Thursday, February 14, 2008

" I hope U Like The Flowers.. "
Nota Kaki : Quotes and paying homages from and to the late Tupac here & there..


She's beautiful, give me a silent nod if u think its not an overstatement..
Her smiles captivate not the entire hall, they collapse the whole foundation

But nobody ever wonder why does she has damaged petals..
Oblivious of the vengeful winds she faces alone, her personal battles.
Clueless of ocean of tears she braves alone in the odd hours
She's walked blinfolded, on a pitch dark path frighteningly lonely to others.
And learnt the hard way, to appreciate the beauty of the company of tears
Odd how something of fragile nature withstand the batterings thru these years
She's witnessed something no soul should have even heard of
Its time she blooms and rise up, its time she takes off
P/S : I dedicate not the pants, but the bouquet on the trousers :D
Rise & bloom, let yourself off the past.. " I hope U like the flowers.. "

" Funny it seems, but by keeping her dreams, she learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared. "

Monday, February 11, 2008

Untitled Randomism.

Wan's leaving us for boarding school at Seremban. Ironically, the school I was in, I mean practically, coz my old school was relocated to another area somewhere around Seremban II. So now we'll both study at the same exact ground, with 2 different schools ! Woah. Odd coincidence.

Saddens me that the house is gonna be even emptier now that both Yan & Hafiz are doing their studies in Penang.

I feel voided of literary power to express how I'm feeling now, but it feels terribly lonely.