Monday, October 24, 2016

And Heart Is...

If ever we shall meet again in a universe parallel
Would you still call me Darlink, can I still call you Angel ?

Would you still love me if the circumstance we meet was different ?
Would you take my hand and ride off to a sunset in that rusty wagon ?

Would you laugh at my silly jokes or have you always knew ?
Dumb as I may joked I have NEVER when I said that I love you

If we were strangers brushing each other's shoulders on a train
I wonder if you would catch me staring from the opposite lane

I have said Hello to you so many times that I lost count
Though most of it happened in my mind & just outside of a frown

Hence if a day comes memory fails me & my mind shredded to pieces
I'll find my way back because home is where the heart is; 

And heart is wherever she is.

Friday, October 21, 2016


With friends. Guy friends. Fuck you. Fuck me. Then we are not even bothered to shake hands. We go on. With the girls, well a little bit more complex. But we talked it out. Bam! We go again. With siblings. I fucking hate you you demonstrate exactly the same amount of hatred towards me, but if you would find yourself in a fight, you know I'll be there in your corner more than to wipe off the blood from your wounds, sweat and tears - I would help you deliver the killing blow and later help you hide the body.

With partners, well a story for anoother time. Well, they're you know, partners.

But with our Moms.

Its always a little bit extra delicate. You love her. You hate her. She disses you. You're angry. But you always come back. I wish I could be angry at my mom for a little bit longer. But I never can't.

So here's what I promise what I will try to do.

I will love you unconditionally.

No matter our differences. No matter our disagreements. I will always love you. So I'm gonna do what I have to do no matter how seemingly unpretty, so that I could love you. Simply because I love you Mak. And I will always do no matter how much I seem to contradict these words.

And I hope you know that. I dunno how frankly, what with me being the biggest asshole there is to you. But I hope you do. But I'll guess you'll never find it out from me.

Your ungrateful son.

Monday, October 03, 2016

Au Revoir Mouna

I guess I was never really good at expressing my feelings. Not verbally at least. I write poems and throw tantrums or I freeze somebody off when I'm angry.

Truth of the matter is I feel a lot. I'm actually quite devastated that Mouna will be leaving GHR for good and I dunno why. I was a newcomer. Apparently who's who in the ranking of the boss' favourites has already been established long before I decided to come in. 

Nonetheless, her departure fills me with grief I fail to describe. 

But all I could muster as parting words are just jokes - and deflective banters. Stupid sense of humor. They mask everything. Fucking everything. Whereas all I wanted to say was how I'm gonna miss her and I wish nothing but the very best for her, but also if she could come back one day, please do.

And for all that incredible capacity for emotions all my stupid self could muster was "Take care, Mouna." as I try to convey as much as I could through my eyes.

And of course putting on my best looking idiot face in what could probably be our last picture together.

You fucking stupid moron Fakhrol.

Au revoir, Mouna!