Saturday, March 17, 2018

Fat Journal

Monday March 19, 2018 I will be starting my weight loss journey again. I currently weigh as of this morning 69.5 KG - an increase of 5.5 kilos from Raya. lol. Though unavoidable hospital admissions and ever increasing injuries have played a part - I have been pigging out like a - you guessed it, a Fakhrol.

So now I'm starting this again. 

Half Keto half Atkins.

If I manage to bring my weight down to 64 (ideally 63) I will get myself a Polaroid camera for my travels!

OK. Journal's first entry clocked.

Thursday, December 28, 2017


Because I'm stupid and I still miss you. Fuck. What a prelude to 2018.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

Dead Ends

2017's second book and we're right at her rear end and I'm still only on my second book. Boy have I been lazy.

Its a story about two boys, one's a smart but a hard-ass delinquent and the other, mentally challenged. As odd as pairing goes, these two boys manage to find more similarities than they would like to admit (well at least on the protagonist's side). 

To summarized: Boys with daddy issues.

God, I'm a fucking lazy bum.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

The Very Best

‎August ‎25, ‎2007 at Sue's engagement more than 10 years ago. Look at how innocent we were. Now you yourself are getting married. 

Take care Haq.

I wish you nothing but the best. The very best.

You lovely thing.

Saturday, July 01, 2017


You remind me of Tangerine from that movie with Jim Carrey in it. Damaged yet beautiful =)

Wednesday, June 28, 2017


Breaking away from someone isn't as straight forward as we want it to be. Deciding to walk away from the people that used to be so central in your life does not mean you do not miss them. At times unbearably so. So much so I found myself on more than an occasion, staring at your number or our chat window, struggling to stop myself from calling or texting you. 

You who came along and made everything seems like a breeze and walk away as freely. You who I didn't think in a million years would leave these much damage. You who I so sorely feel absence of. 

I miss you so much right now and the saddest part is you'll probably never know...

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Books 2017 - The Alpha Male

My first completed book in 2017 and my, was it an annoying read.

First off let me start by saying how disappointed I got when I discovered that the book is actually just a collection of short stories instead of one. Fine. I'll concede, not through anyone's fault but mine. But hey what the fuck right ? Short stories could be fun.

No. Wrong. Dead wrong,

I was kinda hooked with the first story since I didn't know it yet at that time that this was gonna be a short story, so it didn't matter that the character was a self absorbed has-been actor who thinks far too greatly of himself. He has an entire 100 pages or so to redeem himself or so I thought. After all I am a sucker for a good 'Pheonix rising' story.

But no. The character stayed his asshole self and I wasn't even compensated with a good ending. It ended abruptly like I hope does the author's career.

On to the next stories. As if it hasn't been already unbearable, the author decided to put a little bit of fantasy / dark comedy spin to his already annoying assemblage of lukewarm self important jackasses. Don't get wrong I already don't dig dark comedy but adding that kind of insult to injury is just plain nasty.

I have never been so mad at a character or a book but I hated the book and by extension the author and the only reason I have persevered is because I wanna finish what I started and I already have like 3-4 books I have started and dropped for a while, as is customary with me. So there you go. Nak type bagi habis nie pun malas. 

So screw the author I hope he never touches another pen again in his life.

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

This Is How I Miss You

There is a place deep in the valleys
Hid by the mountains, white sheets of memories 

A place guarded by heart, hidden from sight hardened by the stones of melancholy. Should one wander far enough, stood once was a statue of You & Me.

You were a beautiful beautiful part of my life.

Thank you for being in it. No matter how brief it was.

You fantastic thing.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

"Nothing Lasts Forever"

"You know what we should be ? Nothing. Because Nothing lasts forever!"

I care for the girl and all I manage to sound was like an asshole in what could probably our last encounter.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

"If You Were A Vegetable, You'd Be Cute-cumber!"

I said to you.

You with your trademarked pokerface. I love you for that. You know too much, only that shrug of your shoulders, your attempt at playing the fool, it didn't fool me. You're too smart not to know what you're doing.

I don't know why these little things, these tiny memories are creeping and drowning my thoughts right now. There's a gathering of lukewarm pearly beads crowding my vision.


I love you.