Monday, April 12, 2010

Part & Parcel..

My so called perfectionist attitude has caused my studies quite dearly. I want everything to be answered or submitted in a manner that meets up my so called ‘standard’. If not, I will not submit it at all.

To make matters worse, I procrastinate the submission because I want it to be ‘proper’ and since ‘proper’ submission will definitely take time- the submission is hence delayed- or worse, not submitted at all. Thing is, even if I submit half halfheartedly too; the marks will at least be satisfactory- NOT zero. When things are zeros, things that were seemingly within my grasp get harder to become realistic. Hence A’s are getting more distant by the days.

Now I don’t even know whether 3.5 CG will be realistic or not. Management course that is supposedly a sure A is not within ‘certain’ distance anymore. Agama seems to be a better bet. English, Insyallah will be fine. By God’s grace.

I need to learn that part of being a student and an employed at the same time is the fact that I have to deal with mediocrity. And loads of it. Part and parcel of being both is the fact that it is rather a game of perseverance than beauty. Its how long can you stay instead of how beautiful can you play.

Its like a game of football with a team of ingenious capabilities- but with less a man.

Part and parcel of being a part-time student is accepting mediocrity as a usual companion. And I have partially accepted the fact when I enrolled for the studies in the first place.

Please God, let me reMember this. Dear God, please don't let me fail this.

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