Thank YOU For Loving Me For All That I Am & Most Importantly For All That I Am NOT

I know I'm a hard person to love.

Grumpy, perenguih (perengus), buruk tabiat, buruk lantak. I'm far from what you may call sebijik epal dimataku ? (Apple of my eye lol).

I have my bad days and I have my slightly bad days. 80% tu bad days, another 20 are bad days that I somehow manage to salvage and luckily turn into a slightly cheerful ones.

To say that I have my faults is an understatement.

I bark at the slightest perceived (yes, perceived) confrontations. I got emotional during what you may call light discussions. With a face only a mother can love, I know I must have put her through a lot. The perseverance, the faith and the believe that I am somehow, more than the sum of my own faulty parts, sometimes just brought me close to tears.

But that's just me.

One minute I feel like crying over the fact that my mother has sacrificed A LOT for me during my years of ketidakgunaan. Dia still percaya yang aku boleh jadi berjenih (berjenis). Jadi orang. Jadi somebody. Someone yang berguna untuk agama, masyarakat dan bangsa. Or at the very least, tak jadi sampah yang menyusahkan orang.

So, one minute I feel like crying, thinking about what Mak has done for me. Seminit lepas tu aku boleh jerit dekat muka dia because I feel trippy over what she had said about how messy my room always seems to be. Its a seriously complex feelings that I have for her, I love her like no other person on earth and at the same time, she can and has a tendency to get on my last nerves. I mean I love her but.. lol.

Aku tau aku anak / abang / kawan / partner yang teruk.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is THANK YOU. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me for all that I am. And most of all..

Thank YOU for loving me, when I least deserve it.

- Fakhrol. 

p/s: Bajet ramai orang sayang la tu. Cis!