Journey

this image brings a frighteningly uncanny resemblance of myself right now

To start when you have stopped a while is always hard. Especially for someone like me. When I am invested in something there's practically nothing that can stop me from doing what I'm meant to do. But when I've stopped for a stint, that's when starting up is like dragging a hundred tonne cargo ship. 

Unlike running on the treadmill back then, these taxing workouts require me to rest at least for a day in between two workouts. Two days are ideal. I failed to meet up April's Week 4 and 5 targets. Thus, May is the month where I will cover the lost days, so I went 4 times in May Week 1, slashing the lost days to two. However, since 4 times feel somewhat taxing I took an initially planned 2 days rest which eventually ended up being 4 -_-"

It wasn't that I planned to skip them. I have in fact been readying my mental and to a degree, physical state to start only for other factors to catch up and eventually dragging me. One thing to note - or not to (since I knew this all along anyways) - is that procrastination will eventually lead me to skip the sessions altogether. What I need to do is just drop every fucking thing and get on the elliptical machine to avoid getting stuck on the computer screen and not able to enjoy it anyways, worrying and cursing my own weak mental state.

Sesungguhnya aku benci akan workout ini.

But its the shortest and the most effective route.

Progress, if I am honest, is basically none because for every step I took forward I leaped 5 backwards. After the trip to Penang I have not been careful with the stuffs I put inside my mouth.

Sniffs sniffs :(

All in all I am actually back to square one. In a careless moment I can still hear the sound of my own breathing. That means I am like super gemok right now and I hate it. But I have a good feeling about this one, here I am 2 months into my stop-start journey and I am still at it.

Sekian. Sebuah journal.