Projectile Pieces of An Absent Mind
Kre'..krek..krek.. ©
Current Listen : Jedi Mind Tricks - The Age Of Sacred Terror.mp3

First off, let me start by thanking the individuals who actually take their precious time to comment my Blog regardless of the content of the comment. Just a proof of presence, I appreciate them all (& no i wont turn down any of my fans). I remember the days where comments are few & far between, aside of comments from some Fucks who wish i'd check their sites up.

Ok, enough blabber, on to the business :

U.S. sees growing threats in Somalia

What the fuck ? I'll tell you the 'fucks up. You dont just see this or that target as mere target of terrorism. Its a more systematically & despicably planned geonicide of those who embrace Islam as their religion. Thats what the fucks up. The US has been restless following the coup d'etat by Islamic force of Somalia. Funny though, never really the US has given any flying fucks about the dark region of Africa despite it's poverty, malnutrition & etc and on a sudden swift split moments, US has found the urgency of meddling into the business of Somalia.

Funny ? No, its hillarity when you found Al Qaeda (once again) being the cheap excuse of US meddling into people's business once again. But the thing is though, US did claim that Al Qaeda is a dying & isolated cause of hopeless individuals. Oh shit, i cant help smirking.

To the arrogant empire of stuck up American, this i gotta tell you, it wasnt that long ago the corpses of your soldiers were being dragged along the street of Mogadishu. This serves as a reminder to those who'd reflect. Heed my advice.

Enough of the shitty reality of the world today. Here's a DISS-Traction from all the trials & tribulations of our time. A piece of God's gift, Tranquility :-

I used to care less about whether people are reading this blog or not, but now that im intending to brag, do read & cherish every moments, peasants !

Ahhh.. adorable aint she.. ?

Cuteness v 0.1

Cuteness v 0.2

Masterpiece. What i luv the most about her is the constant depressed expression on her face.

Meet my niece, Husna. Im addicted already (Taking her pictures, mind you pervs). LOL. What i like sooo much about her is the expressions. She seems depressed all the time. Her smiling pictures are actually some very rare finds.

Enjoy !

My Outsmarting Self,

Raizzen

Hear Me Out Tonite.
Current Listen : Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers.mp3

Envious i am to those who have the luxury to cry so care-freely without having to fake a strong front.

I hate.

I adore.

I despise.

Let me just swallow this up, fake a smile & charge forward, blindly. Disregard the uneven being of the path that im runnin' through. The Blog is still the best companion in the face of sorrow's harshness.

Oh, the night feels so lonely.

Regards,

My Smart Self.

Raizzen : The Whines, The Fellows & The Crap That Follows & Owh, A Cup Of Hot Teh Tarik ! *
Fuck TSP, im using his structure of topic ! *
Current Read : Cather In The Rye

A cup of hot Teh Tarik accompanied by loneliness. Sadly true.

I re-read what i dropped last night & i think half the piece was crap & the other half was - Brilliance. Shall we say ? Self centered are we ?

* smirks *

It's gonna be a 3 days leave. Its fruitfulness though, is yet to be dictated by the hands of mine. I plan alot, execute them ? Rarely. A stack of unwashed clothes, crashingly messed up bed room. Disaster.

* applause *

Shit, this plain life of mine is suffocating. So choking that i get lonely most of the time. I long for drinking partners right after work, where the peak hours of my loneliness reign. Folks that'll laugh to my silly jokes, craps & listen to my whines. Loneliness is not the worst company, No ! but a cup of Teh Tarik while being alone feels pretty sad. I talk quite a lot when im having my time in Mamak stalls over a cup of hot Teh Tarik. I'd get over glasses, & never really see how time flies. Yea, im silly like that & yea, im good at wasting time too !

* standing ovation *

Really, im shocked at discovering how im actually a very simple man. I dont ask that much out of life. Though at times yea i might sound pretty complicated ? Nah, it doesnt even suit me, no, not complicated, more like tangled. Inside out.

I dont wanna end this, i whine a lot do i ?

No wonders.

And so i see.

A Piece of One Self.
















1000 words paint millions of lies
I seek for the presence of lives
In the gravest of place - hearts of human
Twisted, more than the thoughts of women
I seek for legitimate reason of airs inhaled
Stuck, like knight in pairs & staled.
Colors of memories scarred my face thats pale
Lanes of 'em that i try to trace but fail
Blasts wisdoms that try to outshine my truth
Justification ? I got my own line of proof.
Raising my middle finger to the world
Yelling - " I no more linger on your approvals ! "
Deviously devout - obsessions to the idea of one Self.
Self centeredness with a definite unfathomable depth
Dipped my tongue on the surface of ocassions
End up saying " How the fuck do i face the situation ? "
A year of Life's a 365 syllabled composition - A piece of one self
" Someday u'll probably look at this and..laugh.. "
A cliche u get all the time in regards of problem
Raids of beats. Shit, violently my heart's throbbin
Rarely do i face my problems. I deface 'em
Am walking side by side with confusions. Im fazin..
Typical - a helping hand is which an arm that drowns
Give them hopes, withdraw. See them harmed in frowns
IN-significant humans, require company, yet i refuse to beg
Only time i beg is to Differ, and in that, i choose to brag !

Time will tell if there will be a continuance for the verse. Just grabbed the notepad & decide to drop a few lines, pardon the lack of thinking process visible in between the lines.

The Three Worded Culprit.

I _____ you. Only second to the phrase ' I love you..'
Feets fasten on the ground, still i wish i'd be the skies above you..
So that i can watch over you on the very tick of every clocks
You're the barricades in which logical thoughts are imprisoned & blocked.

60 seconds of sorrow & 59 smiling appearances - an hour of thoughts....
Thoughts of you - Approval of circumstances & coincidence ? I seek not !
Whats this feeling thats pleasingly hurtful ? - Shit, its sickening !
These 3 words i tend to hold back just so i'd preserve its meaning

I hate how far you seem to me & if asked who i shall hate - "Its you.."
Ironic. I despise you & loath your presence but in a sick way "I miss you"

P/S : My eyelids weigh a tone, ngantuk..

Different Angles of Words.
We've all met Words & only a handful manage to meet its different angle..

I feel poetic. My attempt on smarty pants was halted by some nice grandma-tickle errors. LOL. Shits.

* blushes *

I despise sentence since it holds phrases, i loath phrases coz they're bonded by words, i hate words since they hurt..

I am amazed by the possiblity of words, how far can they go, how convincing we would've sound if we got to say the right words at exactly the right time. & how things'd go on the otherwise. Oh, how nice. I love words.

On the back hand, err, i mean on the other hand though, the dark side of words is seldom discovered, yet it's been there ever since the mankind learn to fully utilize the tip of their tongue. The aftermath of the dark side of words leaves at times, a permanent scar within the hearts of those victimized by its brutality.

Often we're made to believe that words are a one sided coin. Well, meet his half brother, the darker side of the coin which its possiblity & potentiality are yet to be discovered.


Words do hurt.

November Rains II.

My head spins three-sixty-degrees, still i feel kinda good coz i now feel like i can make the mockery out of the world itself.

Fever, dizzy, sore throat, cold, coughs. PC got owned. Exam goes _______ . Well, meet Life - the bitch that everybody have been talking about. I mean yea, meet her once, she's not your average bitch who'll flaunt and walk like " Dont fuckin approach me.. " & weep once dumped. She flirts, make you fall in love & leave, fer good. Thats Life. Everybody got at least a chance to be around her.

Mine has come & gone.

I, as of now - am a mere container of the soul seeking not any approvals from the world which spins within its locus regardless of how prominent you are in the eyes of mere earth dwelling peasants.

Contradictorily complicated eh ? Wait till you meet the other side of Life..

P/S : & prayers be with Nawa's Cikgu Atikah. God be with you..

November Rains.

November does rains a lot doesnt she ? And thats exactly why i love her soooo much that i wish to have my semen lurking up her belly. What the fuck am i blabbering about anyways ?

Fucked.

Thats the only description i find suitable for all the Fuckages * that have been happening to me lately.

Chronologically putting it :

1. My PC decided to date Ms. Thunder (real name undisclosed because of the sensitivity of the subject) & i guess yea, they went too deep (Geeeeez, young people nowadays..) & a couple of days later - a cute little infant by the name of Streamyx was born & unfortunately, didnt manage to make it long enough to be called a 'grown-up'. Moral of the story : Dont fuckin on your PC when its raining, you fuckheads.. What ? you dont find any morals ? Go fuck yerself then..

2. Called Streamyx to fix the shit & it took them 3 days to rectify the matter. Oh well still can be consiered lucky comparing to my previous experiences with those TM Nut guys..

A happy ending it seems eh ?

Yesterday though, as i was pressing my finger against the boobs err i mean the switch of the PC i found my smart self prematurely ejaculated because i cant seem to get the PC turned on - regardless of the foreplays i opted for..

Unfortunate ?

Fortunately it was INdeed unfortunate coz i got my hopes up by switching to a new partner; my parent's PC. Since they were away for a couple of days & guess what ? The lands of the free of the PC were already invaded by filthily vulgar & profanely nasty son of Virus's bitches & they roam free without a single attempt of halt by the helpless bytes of the PC.

Sooo nasty they killed off my attempts of new installations, raped all attempt to view hidden files & robbed any caravan of Avast! anti-virus passing through.

The only way out of the quagmire, so it seems, is to opt for the veto power that is only possessed by the force of FORMATION.

When Fate Smirks..

3 sides constantly clashing. Fate smirks on the idiocy of the trio
They battled & crumbled without a peep to the actual scenario
One side kills the other and thought "There awaits the throne i desire"
Fate smirks again. Now with cynical fangs visible within the picture

Pride, Concsience & Insecurity are the 3 sides that dwell within me
When fate smirked, i should've known that - Mine, she'll never be.
The Idiot i am, saw it coming, but i refused to accept the verifiablity
I refused the shelter of Agony and avoided contacts with Reality.

* GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA * The cynical laughter keeps gettin colder
And that's the sound of the Smirking Fate saying " Look ? I told ya.."

Gudbyes.

Raizzenly Divine.

Self centered aint i ? Fuck it. I was so fascinated by the character of YYH & still am. First glimpse of him in the 17th volume of the manga was permanently engraved on the back of my mind like mad. Yerp, some idiots might question " Its Raizen not Raizzen.. " Well, i dont exactly have the answer for that kind of question neither do i care. And please bear in mind that this might sound like another trivial-nothings to others, while it means a big deal fer me and hey.. psst .. I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK.

Thank you.

Hollow Insights : Story of My Life.

The epilogue :

It is an exhaustingly hectic week. Sunday marked the last class of my drifting semester. Took up a couple of wise dosage of naggings and excessive craps from my lecturers about late submissions / not submitting at all - assignments of mine. 10 congested hours of classes with a meal-less hour break in between dont kill you, they just rip your soul to shreds and dispose of it so INsignificantly. And whats more, the next Monday was a working day, thanx to my ignorance - i didnt apply for the continuation of leave since the next day was a public holiday (Nuzul Quran). Break fast with the idiotic classmates of mine at 20 and was forced to fetch my brother up at Section 8 and to complement the nice day, they werent home, yet. God loves me. Had to wait like till 11 pm until they arrive.

Oh, how lurvelyyy.

The beginning of the end..

Monday went like hell-i-dont-care, and to my surprise i manage to join the study group that those idiots were planning to have. 50 bucks that i withdrew just a few hours before evaporated into thin air, 2o bucks for gas, a few bucks more for tolls etc etc and there it goes, Finito ! Oh gawdd. Had to make a trip to Subang before heading towards Cheras to pick those fools up. And our self proclaimed lecturer is currently waiting in Gombak. It was 3 am in the morning before they finally decide to put a stop on the session. Another long, windy trip to Cheras and Subang before i can finally date my Ms. Pillow and Mrs. Mattress.

The Apoclypse..

Thought that the following Tuesday was going to be the day of redemption for all the sleepless nights i've had before, - just for me to be greeted by the biggest Mr. Disappointment. Mak has asked me to drive her and my brother to UH for my brother's treatment at a pretty much early time of the morning, - which i had hope to use to recompensate all my sleepless nights. Had to entertain both of them till it was 2.30 pm, plusses, minus & so on, made it home at 3.30 pm. We waited for like 2-3 blistering hours just to be told that we should come back later for further treatments. All that craps for what ? An appointment ? C'mon.

Niceness.

Pieces of My Scattering Thoughts.

i b l o g w h e n i f e e l s h i t t y , t h e r e f o r e i f e e l s h i t t y w h e n i b l o g , h e n c e , b l o g g i n g i s s o f u l l o f s h i t s .

I hate it when circumstances & coincidences are the ones that determine the direction of our lives. Most of the time. Disregard of what & how much effort you put into something. Got me thinking of the weight that the time spent on planning & strategizings carries.

Oh well, Gudbyes.

The Untitled.

Dear AA :

You're the light i found in my darkest of sorrow
The colors i need for the pictures of my tomorrows
Word of praise is an understatement for someone like you
For if someone is worth a mention, you're worth at least two

I long for the day i'd finally meet you
Coz' the sight of you defines my Greatest View
Telling myself that i dont need you would be a self betrayal
Here i am.. its 3 AM & im busted - in the Land of Denials

Beauty of the word is dull in the presence of Thee
How beautiful'd the phrase 'I love you' be - without you beside me ?
Some women'll retort " Hey, your sweet words dont deceive me.."
But f*ck it, i'd lie, fake & steal just so you'd forgive me..


Loving you needs no logic or justifications. Whatever it takes -

Sincerely,

Im sorry.

The Haunted Corner of Familiar Rooms II.

Human regret most things they say when they werent thinking straight. But hey whatever. Sometimes i just wish that this world would just pause & i could sort a few things out the way i want to see it. But hey, its the world that you're up against. Humans drown in their very own sorrow because they need to keep moving bearing all kinds of pain within their heart.

Move along or stagnantly stay still is entirely yours for the making.

Sometimes we try our hardest to put things out of their motion, but they just wont. By the time we stop trying maybe things will.

Fuck the world.

But hey, whatever. Im tired.

In The Spirit of Merdeka.

The grave of Dol Said

Tok Janggut : Hanged to Contempt

How many days more till it hit 31st ? I was inspired by Ophy's writings regarding the story of Malaysia's Independence Day, therefore i grabbed my Blog as quickly as i can. The inspiring work of ophy --> http://uitmdalnet.org/blog/?p=37#more-37

Now, this’d send controversies in the air :

But, i think the real hero of Independence was not Tunku Abdul Rahman, the Independence’s negotiations that had taken place in London was a staged one. Though undeniably, Tunku was influential in declaring it.

The real heroes are always the forgotten ones. The likes of Tok Janggut who was hanged and publicly displayed as a subject of contempt by the Brits, Dol Said, Rosli Dobi, Mat Salleh and a lot more that often goes unmentioned in our celebration of Merdeka.

These persons have selflessly fought for what they believe in, for whom they care and for the religion and country they were willing to die for.

Anonymously Painful.

The staircase i victimized in my 'soul searching' at my office

Been wanting to update the Blog for a long time now and here i am, finally made it. Malas.

* sighs *

Life hasnt been nice to me lately, excessive workloads, daily craps, naggings, studies, bullshits & more bullshits. Really. It's the point in life - where you desperately need a pause from all the hectics, but you dont have the luxury to do that. I couldnt define the core source of my pain despite all the evidence of the abovementioned factors. All i do know is that the pain is visible, - yet anonymous.

I hate talking to people when im not in the mood, therefore the best friend of mine when being moody is the staircase at the back of my office & my new baby : * drum rolls * - Introducing my not-so-new Sony Ericsson P900, i know, i know its a bit old, but hey, this baby is a super gadget. Almost perfect (in my definition), the only drawback is the storage space which is only 16 MB internally & can be expanded by 128 MB and its the limit of it. Shits. I heard that by switching a new firmware, this drawback can actually be eliminated. Hey, shed me some lights on this one okay ?

R a i z z e n
1 0 . 1 3 p m 2 3 0 8 0 6

The Two Faced Justice.

I feel the urge to blast the wisdom of the Westerners, if the word is even applicable to them by the way. I mean how the fuck do these stupid fucks even define terrorism, i mean come on, one captured soldier with life still clinging to its container - answered by severe bombardments, cut off of supplies, children, women and elderly's death and the whole world is turning a blind eye over it ? One captured soldier.. Israel is not protecting itself, they're arrogantly flaunting what kind of damage you'd be delivered should you fuck with them.

Communications ? Peace talks ? Fuck them and who ever believe in them.

On the other hand,

Semester's about to begin, the sem. will prove to be one of the hard ones with killer subjects like Economy & Accounting. Pray me luck. Duh.

And FIFA & Sepp Blatter (is that how you spell it?) can kiss my ass for all i care should they withdraw the Golden Ball Award from Zidane. You dont go humilliating a man like that. Zidane has reiterate that he has no regret doing what he did but was sorry it had to go the way, i mean the dude's defending his family's honour. Morality can kiss my ass when it comes to honour.

Justififed la kan ? After all the dude was provoked..

Till then,

Byes..

New Year's Post

Hi 2006, Oh shit, she's half years old already. My bad, my bad. Lucky me the account still exist, the old generous Blogspot, hail !

Oh well, shits ups & downs, highs & lows, fucked & de-fucked. Successfully cracked my leg and manage to get me a 2 months MC while going at it is among my success story. On the other hand, the downright shitty ones are shits that revolves around Hidayah. Oh well, thats life at its purest form. Just starting to feel like blogging again since im officially a man with too much time in hands now since the Sem. is finally, painstakingly, - over ! Bad new's its about to resume in no time soon..

Oh i've started MIRC'ing again.

Luv,

Me.