Save Moi

Gosh I really need to curb down my spending on these 'hobby' craps. Every time I see a Tamiya or a Gundam ad I have this uncontrollable urge to click click click. But I just.....

Its one of those things you've had to hold yourself from when you were a kid. You want this and you want that and you can never really have it because it was not financially prudent for your family to trade a plate of nasik goreng so that you can have an Ultraman figure, so to speak. My family's not exactly 'poor' poor but we aren't rich either. My father used to drive a cab back then aside from his post office job (yeah, I never knew what he really did in his younger days in Pejabat POS, when I asked he said he never was a postman but rather he delivers letters by vans, but lets just keep that part for another day) and my mom worked as an information assistant at our old, beloved airport Terminal 1. I think its safe to say that we were the perfect example of a lower middle class family during those glorious booming Malaysian economics.

I remember one day I saw an Ultraman figure I think it was RM 6.00 or RM 12.00. So I never really get my way during those days and you've learnt to just accept that your family can never really afford it (or can they ? I guess I'll never know) so you just ask once and you're 99% sure its never going to be affirmative but you asked anyway. But where I went to school from my standard one to five in Kampung Tunku, PJ (1991-1995) the brats there were made of mostly upper mid to upper class income families and I've heard stories from my friends if they would have just stood their ground, eventually their parents would give in and buy them those toys they want, just to get them away from the toy shelves. And so I did. Not only that it didn't work, I was a little embarrassed that my father would scold me there and then. Adoi malunya. That was the first and last time I ever tried to pull those rich kids tactic. Tahi la. Dengan family aku tak jadi punya!

So when you're working and these things from your olden days, things you once had but was too stupid to hold on to and somehow damaged it beyond repair, things you totally had no idea what happen to. And most importantly things you MAY NEVER HAVE in your capacity as a kid back then. So when these things appear right before your eyes and you know, now, though not filthy rich, it is still within your financial capacity to get, mata jadi buntaq semua nampak semua nak. Homaigod its so not healthy. Yesterday I resolved to control my spending more and right after I bukak Instagram this bugger said in his ads "The last of the Hublot wristwatch stock. Lepas nie tak restock dah" and despite the years in you, you get influenced by these things. So despite my staunch resolution to curb down my spending to only planned stuffs and essentials. I went ahead and contacted the seller and bought the wristwatch. 

I whispered to myself "The last wants spending for the month" and bukak FB nampak orang jual Tamiya yang memang ada dalam mental wishlist. I straight away went and private messaged him. 

Though all these spending have got to do with my uncapped desires and wants, one of the truer reason I click click click at all these ads are the fear that they will forever disappear in the market hence I lost the chance to hold a piece of that beautiful childhood era forever. Wow that somehow came out pretty poetic.

To wrap, yeap I really need to curb down these spending sprees by:

1. Narrowing them down to planned purchases ONLY. Never settle. If the item is not reachable at the moment. Leave. Don't get a compensatory, slightly similar product just to console my buying urge because I'll end up getting what I originally want eventually. Sometimes paying bloated prices. Fuck!

2. Realize that these things, despite its ages, are available. ALWAYS. You just have to know where to look and the budget. By running rampant with my finance I blow away the money that could have been put aside for the original stuffs therefore I end up getting more secondary stuffs which are of course a welcome but not the wanted destination.

I guess break ups really bring out the nerd-ism in all of us. Gundams. Star Wars. Batman. Tamiya. And I wanna have all of 'em. 

Somebody save me.

Farewell Old Friend II

We were close at one point. Very close. But a patchy relationship ensues a few years back. But once in a while we still go lepak and enjoy a cup of coffee laughing at our days of being stupid together. And once in a while we still enjoy a smoke or two together. But I felt that he's grown too different to make the hanging out together more frequent. He must've felt that I changed too. But him being the annoyingly lovable idiot he was, the dude just kept pouring in harassing messages and calls. Of which I was ever indifferent about.

Until the very last night before his eternal departure, he was texting me. And I..

Dear God.

My eyes misted, all over again.

Good Ole' Days..

Sometimes I find myself missing the good ole' days. Where shit was simple and everything were smiles. Even though I know that is all deceiving illusions, perpetrated by the technology of still pictures. But tell me I didn't look happy here; 

Source: Uploaded by user via Mohd Fakhrolruzi on Pinterest

or here;

Source: Uploaded by user via Mohd Fakhrolruzi on Pinterest

Well, that is all just part of growing up. Being in the current situation means I had evolved from that position to this position. Heck, even a mob boss finds himself in unenviable positions at times, yeah ? 

So raise the glass up for the growing ups and keep the albums tight for later times.

Jatuh. Bangun. Senyum. Masa untuk terbang...

Tips for A Better Life
Nota Kaki: Never gets old..

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2011 (erm, how about 2010 ? :P)
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits

OK those obviously aren't mine and absolutely is a repost. And rather more note-to-self than anything. But if it might help you in your journeys even just a little.. No, don't thank me, but if you insist here's my Maybank account no. 1623 xxxx xxxx

The Drafts - 31st Dec 2007

Source: Uploaded by user via Mohd Fakhrolruzi on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Mohd Fakhrolruzi on Pinterest

I've wanted to revisit this project for quite some times now. Project Drafts. "The ones posts that I either dare not publish or I somehow lose the appetite to publish". "Great source of inspiration".

Like most people who are fascinated by time-lapse video shots. I too am fascinated by progression, via time. Mine is executed albeit a bit more linearly than most of your likings. But a progression nonetheless. Although the Blog is more than enough time-lapse, the drafts are more or less the behind the curtains and/or the edited scenes of which, the director deem unfit for the larger audience. Although, it should be mentioned that these edited scenes, these spur of the moments, are probably his greatest masterpiece. An innocence he lost while trying to supplicate and please the masses. The type of brutal honesty and flare he lost while trying to be politically correct.

Some people call it growing up.

Hi, Saya Fakhrol :]

"There's no point to stop being a dick just to become a better asshole.."

- Myself, Aug 4 2010

(Yes. Yes. Narcissism. Sheesh, please stop whispering so close to my ears Gaddammit!)

Believe It

I can't imagine. Just quite a traffic this Blog is getting for the past few days from a post I scriptured some half a decade ago. A post I entered obliviously, to the traffic that it might generate exactly 5 years and 2 months later.

Simply because of this one keyword - 'oblivious teens making out' - Yes, out of pure curiosity;

I Googled 'teens making out' - Nada.

Hence, I improvise to - 'oblivious teens making out' - There you go. The motherload! lol

You have to be retarded not to laugh at the simple mindedness of these pube-hitting teens. Fapping their way off to anything that moves. I mean, to a certain degree you found yourself embarrassed at yourself for the case of having been there and smiling embarrassingly, alone, when one of your MANY midnight solitary Google searches led you to something that I have, albeit nonchalantly led them to now!

Sorry guys. Better luck next time :P

Tips for a Better Life
Nota Kaki: Never gets old..

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007 (erm, how about '09 ?).
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

In case you're wondering the wonders of the wonderful author (read: Me, me, me & no one else) - its a reentry of a post dated way back in 2008. And it was a stolen one. But is somehow now rightfully mine. Albeit with much litigation and legal proceedings that I've gone through - in my mind, mind you.

But enjoy. And be thankful that I've decided to descent from my throne and bless you with a little gift from the upper floors - courtesy of your Benevolent Emperor.