Weird Roller Coster Ride
Current Listen : My Chemical Romance - I don't Love You.mp3
Nota Kaki : Just another random Joe walking humble on the surface of earth..

These past 2 weeks have been the weirdest, if not the sickest, of all the weeks that have went by. Quick to pull me to the zenith of my feeling and abruptly dragged me into the abyss of it. Buka Puasa out with some old friends at Tesco, such joy that have i garnered from such simple encounter proves but one thing, i'm tired.

Shit i sound like an old man.

Then comes the Orgy of this age, my PC wetted by several foreplays alone, forget penetrations. In the twenty years of my life, never have i encountered such mighty self hatred towards myself, how could i ? Goddamn it. Now i'm all lonely & teary.

Bukak Puasa at Concorde, Shah Alam, where the glasses are shiny, the feast aplenty and the laughters lengthy. Where normal looking folks broke out of their shell and grab the mic and rock it like crayyzyyy. Kara-KOing. Yes, that was intended, Kara-KOing. They sucked, hard. But who cares anyways, so long as we were having mad fun. The dudes were trying to pull me up the stage to get me singing and I, out of such enormous inborn Genius-cydal genes, manage to escape, unscathed.

Meeting starts off at 3PM though it was intended to happen at 2, i innocently walk into the room with absolutely no suspicions at all. A meeting with our General Manager, my issues at hand are not even more than 3 out of the 120 something slides that were prepared in total. Office hours end at 4PM in Bulan Puasa and our beloved GM managed to drag it till the clock hits the luvly 6 at her face. Nice. Nice Indeed. 2 spots to hit before reaching my destination, with less than an hour at hand, from Sepang to Dengkil to Puchong. Prayers, refuelling, and the ecetras ? Mad Genius. Whew, i do live in a fast lane yea ? Was driving like mad Kilometres freak to arrive. But somehow i did make it -

To IOI Mall an Bukak Puasa with a few old friends, still. Crayyzayy bunch. Bukak Puasa at Pizza Hut was always my idea of a wonderful Bukak Puasa when the holy month shoots off in the early September and here i am now, though the dishes ordered weren't exactly ones that i had hoped for, but cool still though.

Its all becoming interesting at the end, i wonder what hectic insanity shall unfold itself in the face of the upcoming Hari Raya. Yay !

On the side note, Selamat Berpuasa & Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my fellow Muslim Brethrens.

Random Rantings Out of So Many Outings..
Nota kaki : Unnecessary Post, but hey be glad i'm posting..

Parental Advisory : Highly Retarded

Today i met (virtually) some two (2) serious Idiots, is it two (2) ? erm, i mean i cant be bothered since the lesser there is a population of Idiots, the better prospect of the future we've got in our hands, right fellas ? Now clap with me hey.

One of them, from the Tribe mentioned above that's worth a mention or two in this Majestic Transcript of mine (be glad you were born sucker, your name's here) is :

* Drum Rolls *

Mr. (Ms. ?) kacang aka Bar Ruang (Beruang ?). (Cute aint she, she's Pink.)

Amusing as it is frustrating, him out of so many Dumbos ? Aww somebody console me please.. Took into account the literal meaning of everything, i mean for God's sake why did they even bother to invent the "Don't judge a book by its cover" idiom, Idiot. And by reacting as such to a sentence so vague, he was just making it transparent how Idiotic he actually is. I mean there are like so many ways to be an Idiot, and he chose the most idiotic of them ? Am I saddened and all emotional - and here i thought that the future would be brighter.

Further further more, aint something of Beauty is something that you cannot judge of exterior aspects alone ? And i wouldn't sit there asking myself why if he ends up with some A-Little Prettier-Than-A-hairy-Butt-In-G-Strings lass. Wouldn't even bother pondering.

The other half of the Tribe ? Don't even bother mentioning..

Now where's the 'Publish Post' button ? Oh there you are, lets make him famous for being part of my Exalted Transcript.

Twenty Four Different Kinds of Pain, A Three Sixty Five Life Cycle

" Don't make other people's work pending because of you.. " she says so nonchalantly, not to mention brokenly, and oh a stint of little chuckles at the end of the glorious sentence to mark a little humor she thought, somehow present in the dimwitted words of hers. Niceness folks, niceness. In fact it wouldn't be exaggerating if i say Brilliant.

I mean if one goddamn arsehole who can play games at work and make good use of office's phone spending precious office hours talking on the phone can say that to me. I mean its about time i get scolded for focusing on my computer doing my work, for God's sake i barely stop to take a breather and this nice fine young woman can question my etiquette and worse even, towards my own works ?

Blah. I'll show ya, ya see..

Untitled-ably Randomism II.
Current Listen : Keane - Somewhere Only We Know.mp3
Current Read : To Kill A Mockingbird
Nota Kaki : Was thinking about Blogging when it suddenly appears to me that this is more appealing as of current time.
Nota Kaki II : So so piece without pre-writtens, impromptu shits. Mind the lack of literacy power in between the lines.

Let my thoughts ran for while, i'm sick of confinements, one after another.
Has walk of Life always been this lonely ? Does it's to be so ? I won't bother.

"Walk across an empty land" & struck by a stint of Deja Vu, I've been here.."
At the halt of the Horizon stood An angel with a scathe, - " Where've i seen her ?

She was smiling, while I was too busy sorting out what she could've felt if -
I toss one back, now look at the pain that have i dealt with.

A blink away and now she's a goner, how costly a moment of hesitation.
Now my Life's worn out, a reminder of constant retributions.

Pukingly Sickening
Nota Kaki : Oh mind the reinvented vocabs of mine

Malaysian's crave for names and recognition, the Malays to be specific, are pukingly sickening, you'd see how wide coverage from the medias are playing a damn good role in the Stupifications of the Malays. Goddamn, everything's done for the love of the name. I mean yea, climbing up Everest and swimming through some goddamn seas are so 'big' of an achievement, but for crying out loud, we are toppling a peak that was tamed some good 40 - 50 years ago, yea the first batch of the climbers are acceptable but God, for God's sake, how many times do you have to topple down an already tamed Everest ? Why not use the fund for something beneficial instead of engraving your footsteps on someone's walking lawn ?

Malaysia, your sons and daughters in the ghettos, the single mothers, the orphanage, religious schools are better off as candidates for the wasted funds instead of these recognition-craving dumbfuckingly retarded assholes.

Sighs.

Why not try putting your foot on the sun for a change ?

Dumbfuck faggots.

Untitled-ably Randomism.
Nota Kaki : 10 mins piece. Feel like bashing in braggadciosesamestreet.

Don't attempt a tongue-twister against me
Lest will it be a bloody verbal frenzy
BLOWING minds, like M'sian political gimmicks
My wisdom has got only the sky as the limit
Like Grizzly in your head, Bear in Mind,
That i shall blitzkrieg passages soon, in the meantime..

Sit tight and enjoy whats unfolding..

Pre-Independence Day Post I
Nota Kaki : Should've posted it weeks ago, but oh well..

31st August is fast marching towards us and the Friday sermon was reminding its attendees of " Hari Pahlawan " and its celebrated outcasts, the soldiers. Yes, i do grief for our heroes whose selfless display of bravery has brought us Malaysians, ungrateful Malaysians mind you, the scent of freedom.

But who, who in his worldly-right mind, would celebrate the unsung heroes of the mountains of Afghanistan, the rubbles of Baghdad, the coldness of Caucacus and the cries from the minarets of Al-Aqsa ? These faceless individuals have left everything of worldly pleasures. They have chosen the path of the most humilliating worldly disgrace one could opt for when they could have sit there and comply like most of their accomplices do, or worse even, cooperate with the occupiers themselves.

Im pretty sure that these faces will not be remembered, let alone be mentioned in the folds of history, the Western-crafted history, mind you. Not in another 10 - 20 years, not until at least the very day that the Islamic Caliphate be revived. These individuals have chosen a path few have the guts to even ponder upon, yet they charge without any second thoughts of the aftermath. They author the future with their swords as their quills and the crimson of blood as their ink. A future they're not even guaranteed a seat of.

" The Gardens will perceive springs but we will not be there to see it " - Sheikh Ahmad Al-Ghazi of Red Mosque, Pakistan

The INnate INability To Overcome Oneself.
Its fucked up.

Im moving fast in this fast-paced world of ours, i've got but one problem, that is that - I'm moving backwards. What a way to commemorate adulthood. Its fucked up and i cant focus. I'm starting get weary of goals. I lost sight of them or is my vision blurry ? God fucking Damnit. I want to be able to achieve glory of certain fields of life without jeorpardizing the others. I'm only a person away from everything that i wanna achieve in this brief lifetime of mine. And that person, i present it to you, naked & vulnerable, none other than - My fuckin' self.

Frankly speaking i dont even know what to talk about. Its really lonely up in the head and all i've got is mysefl again, to talk to. Since no one person that i believe will not be judgemental of what i'll talk about.

B..O.. bo D..O..H.. doh !

Bodoh !

Artist : Plain White T's
Album : All That We Needed
Title : Hey There Delilah
Footnote : Schweetnesh.



Hey there Delilah
Whats it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square cant shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
dont you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
Im by your side

Ohhh, its what you do to mee
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
some day i'll pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say,
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
I'd write it all.
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Ohhh, it's what you do to mee
Oh, it's what you do to me (x2)

A thousand miles seems pretty far
but they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way.
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because
we know that none of them have felt this way
Delilah I could promise you
that by the time that we get through
the world will never ever be the same
and you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
you be good and dont you miss me
2 more years and you'll be done with school
and I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Delilah heres to you,
this one's for you

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
Oh, its what you do to me (x2)
What you do to me
Oh oh oh oh etc

I'm dumb & i'm childish. Fuckfaced.

A M R A H K R A E D

If you can hear my tears tonight
The feeling that i fear to fight
The feeling that places none above you
One that spells " I love You "

Every Cliche that was given birth by overused Expressions
" I'm sorry ".. & I'd understand why it's refused acceptance

The unspoken lapse that defines the gap between us
With checkpoints of Trials & Tribulations that screen us
I cant find the sight of me without U in my arms
Let me be your Oasis, one that offers Dew of no harms
Without U, i lost the cause of my Struggle
Verbally defected, like a clause with no vowels

When soothing tunes turn looney, am hollow
I'm drowning in the Darkest Damned Sorrow
Panting on INadequacy of the meaning of words
From lips that project the spinning of Curse

Tonight i put faith behind my every words
Every syllables binded a sentence - Far from absurd
And every phrase that commutes a meaning
Meaning of my INterpretations, the very foundation of my leaning.

** Usual flipping of an old notebook, thought its kinda cool, a few ammendments here and there, and here i am..

Sundays, Sin Days..
And the shit goes on..
Current Listen : N/A

Sundays have always, never failing, to obliterate whatever cheers that i've got in me into ashes. They never have. In Sundays, I'll always feel confused. In Sundays i'll always feel that the clock is ticking a little faster than the rest of the days in a week, and every tick, is a tick against me. Sundays, do you hate me ? Goddamn it, dont make me see ya for i shall molest ya without any hinge of Remorse.

Wanna go buy a brand new DVD Writer since the previous one was simultaneously raped by me, I and myself, so bad that she cough off sperms from her lips. Yea gross, sue me, fuckers ! And my parents had to use my car to go to some kenduris of my pop's subordinates. Yea yea yea, whatevers.

Goddamn it, gimme pussies. Fuck 'em.

Edits : And oh, Salman Rushdie splits with his wife, WARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH KARGH, so much for the freedom eh ? Serves you right fucker.

* Inserts middle finger(s) *

Disclaimer : That was edited after the first time publishing, and im glad i accidently saw the Salman Rushdie post in my Blog.

Paper Plane In The Rain
Current Listen : Jason Wade of Lifehouse - You Belong To Me.mp3

Stared upon the blank screen, and all i see is You
I thought i lose something and thats when i realize I miss U !

My admiration towards you - A paper plane launched in the rain
Its Agony binded by thousand pains, long have i known that its vain

To be without, makes no sense while to be with you, is total Nonsense
A side of me hates you, while the other loath you - being absent.

The root of my pain is One, yet im facing 2 Me's
IF and only if, you can see how meaningful you are to me..

And should you not, just let it reside under the sheet of my deathbed
And the Earth shall bear the very weight of the memories coloured in Red

" We'll See.. "
2 years (yea almost) of Blogging & still counting. Let us commemorate the very first time i ever stumbled upon a Blog.

At times i wake up wondering of the purpose of my Life. Purpose or Goal, cascade down, fusion into short, long and if i may, definite termed characteristics.

The definite goal, being a Muslim, apparently, with or without concious, is to be ready for the Afterlife, though clearly, little have i done to prepare myself before Him. I admit.

Long & short termed, in my view, are defined on wordly purposes. These goals have by far, been the most frustrating. Loads of them have lingered within the back of my head, and none has manage to survive for me to see its end. Its either they were prematurely born, half way pursuit or not even pursued at all. I find my Life, at certain point, sickeningly plain. Is it the aftertaste of my newly developed personality or has it been there all along just for me to realize it as of late ?

At times i feel that I alone am Adequate to take on the whole world and her scorns, while the other time, i find myself salivating for the embrace of accompaniment. Had someone who was really interested in me, and this my friend, is very RARE and is no daily occurance, and i let her off sliding on the slippery platfrom of my Ignorance.

But do i really need or long for company, as in current context ? Coz yea, gradually i will. Guess being in adventure will open your eyes in all sort of directions. Path of Uncertainty is the path that'll lead me to seeing the bigger picture. Yea, i guess. Should i was wrong ? Well, i've got my whole remaining breathe for rectifications. I will find out along the way or at least i hope i will.

" We'll see.. " - is a Friend's default answer to the uncertains & i cant help myself liking it.

We'll see, thus.

Reality Check.
Current Read : The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi

Reality will always be Harsh, and thats exatcly why its called Reality. Its edges can at times, oddly prod through not the front, but the rear too. Nothing's really Odd now when the concept finally touches down on my silly head. I thank God for what wonderful individuals i've met that have played major roles on creating who i am, or at least who i appear to be, and how my thoughts take their shapes. Thank you, friends. Thank you really. I've been vacationing in between Reality and my complacent Fantasy for far longer than i should have.

And now i'm paying the price.

* Draws the old persona *

.. Attempting to give a fuck..

The West, The Mighty Mighty West.
Current Read : Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi

UK's gonna award Knighthood to the apostate Salman Rushdie (May you you rot in the Abyss of hell, sucker !). Oh the West, the Mighty Mighty West. The Wisest of all among us - is probably the West-est of all. Oh please do correct me if i'm wrong, i'm just too conservatively East, i suppose.

Be it the fingers of the unborns, the children, the elders, victimized by the Arrogance of the West even, aren't adequate to count the West's crafted INjustice. Not once, neither it was twice, nor was it thrice, the West has come to the aid of those who loath Islam or at least under the pretense of loving it, like the faggot mentioned above. Oh i'm overly emotional am i ? I mean look at the struggling factions of the promised land, Palestine, how quickly was it the West has come to approve the newly formed Abu Mazen's (Mahmoud 'Faggot' Abbas) government, why ? Simply because they're moderate. Moderate my ass. Those Fatah punks are treacherous bastards who are willing to sacrifice anything for the mere illusional sense of power, and to make it merrier, they don't mind the existance of Israel. Ground will shake beneath your feets, you peasants. Bastardization at its best, i gladly present Fatah.

* Standing ovation *

I mean c'mon now, if you're like despise or scared of Islam so much, why dont you just say it out loud ? Make it clear and dont shred our hearts with your nobly put actions and put it under the guise of Humanity or Democracy or whatever flying fuckably flowery terms that you've come up with, when its all plain hatred. Hatred - i gotta reiterate.

* Insert one of those fingers on each hand up *

Fuck you.

Will You Look At Us ?
Current Read : Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

A glance at the Palestinian factions, i'm eking out of the thoughts on how the designated fight among Hamas & Fatah will leave no one but the West with the last laugh, and oh not forgetting the apes descendants in Tel Aviv too. Designated you say ? Yes. Indeed designated, to conceal the mere fact that Olmert is only able to convey INcapablities and oh, The Mightyly Important, erm, pardon me, Impotent, Bush thats clearly limping in his leading capacity.

And sure enough, the world's attention will now be shifted to the Gaza strip in the midst of daily slayings of the occupying soldiers in Iraq & Afghanistan.

Cant blame the World for having such lack of attention span now can we ?

Paradoxical 9'
Current Listen : N/A

The night's windy & tranquilising, tho its colour doesnt justify such beauty..
The night's Dark & Black and you're the only colour that paints contrastingly..
I was anxious, but was too drained of Curse to give a Damn !
Wrestled my Fear and pushed my feet against the fuel pedal & here i am..

In the vicinity of which my heart lays on, the very place that defines -
My every Dreams and my Incubus.. The very heart of Section Nine.

Our Exchanging of words are slides that put my emotions in motions
You're both Antagonist & Protagonist, 2 legged Paradox, a Walking Contradiction.
The Agony of my Bliss, the Joy of my Pain.
And IF, I, dont make any significance 4 U, just let I reside in Va_n.

" Smile For Me.. "
Current Listen : Tupac Shakur Feat. Scarface - Smile.mp3
" Gon' have some stuff that you're gonna see thats gonna make it hard to smile.. "

Tupac's Sorrowful Back

Old cache of memories revisited. I miss Tupac all of a sudden. Here's one of my favourite Tupac's piece :

The Rose that Grew from Concrete

Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it learned to walk without having feet.
Funny it seems,
but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared.

Laters.

The Haunted Corners of Familiar Rooms IV.
Current Listen : Voices in my head.

First off, i fuckin loath laptops. So babi, hence.

I'm Numb. My eyes lowered thru the batterings of Life.
Sanity check, i start counting my fingers, each hand, still five.
Battered with One feeling while splattered with different pains
Back in the back of my mind, where the old Raizzen still reign
Seems that this is the last of my shelter, i pray not that it falter
Wars in my head prolonged, each time new Warlord claims that he's better

My concious fades in the light of swords, hands and fist.
And Fuck it, takes a Nobody, only a Nobody'd understand this.

Me at my worst, i was never a quick thinker, therefore the 5-10 minutes piece is like whatever (tho' yea i admit that a couple of concepts have been lingering in my mind fer sometimes). Therefore, whatever. Today was Hectic, exhausting, dumbfounding, pocket crunching and so on and so on, sighs i'm brokeeeeeeee.

Been doing welfare fer my company like a lot and i'm almost mampus and i've vowed not to mintak duit from my parents anymore therefore, this is me. Fulfilling my vow. Sighs. Further further further tensi like hell with works and these kids attitude. Guess after all i'm the one whos childish..

Can i dial 1800-fuckin-help-me-100 ? I need an audient !

Have i forgotten how to spit my rage in between the lines, on a scroll back, this aint really what i'm feeling but on 2nd thoughts, ermm whatever.