I..

I penned these mighty rage
Unleashed feisty a wrath long I cage

I smile at the agony
Chuckles at the Irony

Obese be my words
Weighed down by my hatred

If I could ever find ways to forgiveness
Trust me rather I lost to utter darkness

I..

:)

Today, while waiting for Wan to get over with his endless registration procedures, I met an old friend whom I haven't met since 2001 - the year that we took our SPM, albeit not together like we were supposed to. I just couldn't hide the delight of seeing a face who I once shared the same pillows and the same dreams, so to speak. I hugged the dude. Well fret not coz it took me by the name Surprise too. But hey this is Godop afterall. He remains till this day one of the bestest friend I ever had the chance to have. So yeah..

We've both had our fair shares of dillies and dallies and I'm glad to say that even after all these years we could still laugh at the same corny jokes that used to tickle our bellies, back when we had the luxury to see the world with a little bit more enthusiastic optimism.

Hello, Tis Frank Speaking.

This is Frank speaking. Who's there ? Well yea, frankly speaking I dont like the New Template too. Its too messy and unorganized for my likings. And I am so malas to clean it up. I expect a template that does the job on its own - a click away. So till I find a template that is able to furnish my, that request. I'll just shelve the idea for the moment. But of course from time to time I'll feel so gatal to get all experimental and violate my own blog's chastity.

On the other hand, well, it takes to two tangos. And my suggestive proposition and flirtations are well responded by her. Its rejoicing to know that all the fluid moves weren't actually a solitary tango. She was in rhythm and talem all along. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes !

She actually know that I have someone to the point of knowing her profession. So what business that she has knowing what my used to be better half does for life ? Well of course :} :} :} :}

New Template.

Tell me what YOU think. Preeetty pweasee ?

The I Am So Malas Nak Mampus But Still Feel Inclined To Post This Post

I gave an Ice Breaker speech today. Toastmaster's platform. I thought what I spat was quite good. Content wise. The idea is there though I know much much better things could be said. Stage fright mental block sure is costly. I know all the principles, the pauses and structures to make my speech engraving marks. But the stage fright stage fright.

I wanna do it again and again and again. I know am destined for big things to come and I couldn't wait. I hate waiting. I wanna conquer the stage and enchant the hearts.

What I really want is not the ability to deliver confident speech rather the longing for social validation. Like I am trying to fill the void, my very innate longing for recognition. I have heard and I have found it to be true to certain extend that this is an indirect indication of lack of love or attention while growing up.

So there goes, a very rough entry because am so malas to flowerize my words and sentences. And fuck it.

"No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"

Parts and parcels of being a Genius is having no equals to deliberate your audible thoughts, reason being, with chief suspect - a different wavelength. A very different one that separates you apart from the common masses.

Thus I can't help but feel so lonely at times. Not having anyone to really to talk to. Or worse, having one or two who'd retort back as soon as I part my lips sharing my tales, my grievance, my dreams.

Judgementalizing the whole process.

And when I say talk to, it means that I am friendless psycho who sits in solitary corners while people socializes themselves. And if you'd believe that I would advise you to lay some clothes on the floor so as not to burden ones who would wipe your shit off the floor once you've successfully hung yourself by the ceiling fan.

I digressed, but am tired of etiquette and all those goody goody advices for as far as I am concerned - "No good deeds goes unpunished."

Don't start telling me those, I invented them. And I've seen how some real twisted ideologies and gravity defying methods do wonders and taking me where I am (and am not yet finished). For nothing, yes am staking a huge bet here, NOTHING in this world is what it seems. You don't get what you wish for by being nice. And guys please, compliments wont be taking you any closer to her damned pants. And as far as cliches go, the jerks are the ones commandeering the higher floors of corporate ladders. Yet you wonder why all you see is shit coming from the top when assholes are calling the shots.

There, you have it. So save you rhetorics for you've seen nothing I have witnessed.

"Despite the many faces who passed through,
It was always You, I always do.."

Was inches away from scribing my thoughts to just realize that am pointless. The sharp tip that's always been a loyal companion when I am better off left alone. Indescribably melancholic. I drift the night away backing and forth, realizing the need to press on, but somehow felt short of having any idea on what to be pressed upon.

Why this ? And why now ?

The omnipresent urge to feel the gaping void. Not your everyday 'gaping void' for it is a humongous black hole that practically absorbs mental masturbations but with little to no indication of spluttering a belch. It is never satisfied. For I have no idea what I want nor how to want it so bad that it'd transcend to its physical counterpart. Everything have I ever dared dreamt about come and make their exits as fast they surface. I haven't grasped nor have I ever known the concept of getting what I want, and really want it that I'd push my limit to get it. Everything's been scripted and you're the hideous Phantom expected to swallow the roles assigned to you by the society.

Thus you're not expected to resist - blindfold your judgment and poke your intellect in the eye then embrace the VerDicks the society has been kind enough to mete you out.

And by the way don't bother trying to decipher any hidden propaganda or propagandist behind the eclipsed words for it takes no genius to figure out that when a man's crapping his pants the way that I'm treating you guys to now - a girl's hand's gotta be involved somewhere somehow something threesome and awesome. There, that, hopefully shall some up the whole piss.

THE PISSED THE FUCK OFF POST.

God am so fuckin pissed I don't even know how to deliberate nonchalance. I'm shaking from anger. WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE ? You're Syapie Apdal's wife ? So what ? So what makes you so fuckin special god fuckin damnit ? Embrassed my mother like that, then having the audacity to ask her where she works ? She's a Nobody, you dumb bloody idiot. You on the other fuckin hand are a MINISTER'S WIFE, BODOH. Pukiamak kau.

I am so tinkering with going all the way - Opposition would love this don't they ? And NOT TO MENTION, Government's favorite hate pot. Fuckin read: Malaysia Today. Fine you wanna play the rough ball since I bet you husband's are from being one. Fine, lets go all the fuckin way. Lets fuckin go.

My Heart Bleeds For You.