A Hi Too Far..
Current Listen: Estrella - Ternyata.mp3

I just got back from Redang. Hell, interesting as it was tiring. Roller costing emotional ride highs and lows in a matter of a few days.

It was damn fun alrite, laughters and giggles here and there. The snorkeling is one of the most sexciting experience I've yet to encounter. The friends we made. The beach footballs. The cigs. The ______.

But here's the thing, I met this girl, erm not exactly meet but I first saw her when we were ferrying to Redang and I caught her staring, stealing a peek myself. She was sweet alrite. Trying to hide the fact that she was staring. Lovelily adorable. I'm in love. I brushed away all the probabilities. But its OK, we've got all the friggin time in the whole wide world. So why rush.

Things worked their says in a very mysterious way. Thus making matters lovelier, she stayed at the right opposite of our room with her family. I caught her stare, yet again. I was juggling a ball. Football, you faggots, not mine and I think she was smiling, I was too busy juggling both the ball and my fragile 'cool' front - my sibuk sister nonchalantly went like "Checking out chicks eh ?". Sibuk minah ni. Serius. It was brief, But I was sure she smiled at me. And I never got the chance to smile back, too busy minding the busy bodies around. Brief though it was, I think its Spring again.

From thereon, there we were, playing Illusive Obvious, Peek & Hide between us. After the dinners, the breakfasts and the swimming sessions that were organized for the families. I came to be close with her brother. And after a few beach football and smokes together, I think it was time for me to move. So we went out. Me, the brother and his sisters and a younger brother and my brother - looking for memorabilias of our Redang experience. From one shop to another. We were walking shoulder to shoulder and the gap proved to be too far. I couldn't find a tiny inch of space for me to open up and approach up until she was sitting a few distance away from me. We were finally, painstakingly - alone. The others were busy probing the shop's items. And there I was too, busy sorting out the wars in my head. Hence not a single Hi.

Procrastination Fakhrol. Procrastination.

Its OK - I thought to myself, again. I'll get her digits on our ferrying trip when we go back. Just to find out later when I was hanging with out with her brother that they were ferrying back to Kuala Terengganu at the first sight of a ferry at six tomorrow. Huge, enormous I-D-I-O-T blocks fall over my head. And there I was..

Damned - And a Hi too far.

And Then There Was..
Nota Kaki: Random

We're off to Terengganu in a couple of hours. Gotta get a good long schleep first before hitting off the roads. Its Redang after all. So many things to do but fuck it, tido comes first.

• Books
• MP3 Player, Headphone

Erm.. Seriously I'll think of it later.

Something You'll Never Grab A Grasp Upon.

Am interested in this article written by Kazi Mahmood of World Futures. Article here.

Mr. Mahmood was asking - Did the Talibans actually have the military strategy and force to conquer Afghanistan post Soviet period ? Mr. Mahmood, For your information, they were war veterans gathered from all over the world's fronts. So do they ? Yeah maybe you thought they were still using catapults to destroy the vast forces of the Soviets. This sort of analysis helps you know, in getting the US and Nato forces into thinking how the Talibans are a bunch of monkeys who still pop stones and sticks to create fire.

The Taliban, using its diplomatic channels, tried everything they could to prevent the American invasion.

Oh yea ? I don't think they tried hard enough. I mean if they so much cling to the powers, the simplest way would be to hand over Osama to US and you stay in. Even if they did try it from the diplomatic point of view, it's because they fear for their citizens' lives. But then again, being people of great principles, turning Osama in is like turning down the Ummah as a whole.

What are our values in the face of the Ummah's future Mr. Mahmood ? Collaterals. Nothing more. Get Leadership 101, somehow some where in the grueling reality of your career, sooner or later you'll be faced against difficult decisions which shall require a firm say, and priorities rightly set. But maybe even the course itself would prove to be too mentally challenging for the person you stare in the mirror every morning.

Of course those were indeed tough choices, but shots have been fired and tears already dried. Here we are 8 years on, is the US winning ? Has any of the one too many Osama and Mullah Omar's glimpses transcended into their physical equal ? Dont bother thinking from this perspective, seriously, you'll require a lifetime of healing dosage to your brain cells.

And I feel inclined to clarify this. Taliban did not abandon Kabul because they were scared stiff of the US and the chicken shits Northern Alliance forces coming at them, NO. Simply because the US were so brave they endlessly shell remorseless bombardment on Kabul for 3 days and nights on the helpless citizens of Kabul and how the gruesome numbers of casualties increase like Bush's idiocy as he speaks. That was why they chose to retreat and fight the war another day. Yea, they lost the battle. But heh, the Nato idiots and the US are the ones that are losing the war.

Every day the Talibans grow into some very fearsome adversaries the US has had to encounter. And each passing day serves as a very painful lesson for those who learn. Numbers and tanks wont save you from these mountain monkeys you perceived, idiots. Its God. And only Him.

I guess that explains why lights travel at a much faster speed than the sound. You look bright a couple of seconds before you made a sound.

With all due disrespects, please Mr. Mahmood, don't open your mouth. You'll at least appear smart for a few dying stints.

The Fucketh List Updated, Again.
Current Listen: Lenka - The Show.mp3

Aku dok sibuk godek packages to Redang or a few other islands along the shore which I utterly hate. The godek-ing part, not the pulau, mind you.

And I suddenly came to a realization - YOU WORK AT THE GODDAMNED AIRPORT, YE DIMWIT !!!1111

And airport authority at that. What the fuck. Maybe I should use some exhortations to squeeze the most spankfuckingly outrageous cheap package out of the Travel agents. Hrm.

The last time I went there, me and Shanaz we just terjah the hell out of everything and it wasn't peak season or anything. So there wasn't any need to pre-plan or anything. And we were so lucky that the package was quite reasonable, you know given the impulsive nature of the trip. 2 ferry trips (pergi balik), 4 meals, 1 snorkeling erm or 2 ? Tah. And a room with 2 beds for around RM 280 - 2 days. And if you were to stay longer, you get about the same price with a longer staying period, like a few dudes who later became our friends on the islands.

Oh and maybe its not Redang after all, I've been there once, so am looking at Lang Tengah as a prospect. So even if my family hadn't been there yet, Lang Tengah is technically still Redang, on the basis that its along the same shore with it. That'll do the trick I guess. lol.

The Fucketh List Updated.

1. Tioman dengan Shahnaz
2. Langkawi ngan Amin a few freak honchos.
3. Lang Tengah ?

The Just Arrived From One Hell of An Endurance Post.
Nota Kaki: Forget F U! Its MU.

I don't care if MU doesn't win the EPL next season but they will crush the Liverfools. Err correction, they have to beat the Fools and win the EPL at the same time.

And for those of you Idiots who think Giggsy doesn't deserve to win the PFA Player of The Year Award, you've just insulted the entire EPL players' intelligence. I mean its the players who voted for the Welsh Ironman.

Oh but then again, I would agree with you if you think that the players from the team you worship are nothing but a bunch of grass ass shallow pushovers. Yea, on just that. Not on the vote they casted for Giggsy. Thats quite intelligent for the likes of them you know.

Probably the only thing Intellectual they'd ever come across them in their whole entire shitty lives.

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh.

The 5.04 AM Post.
Current Listen: Lady Gaga - Pokerface.mp3

Nota Kaki: Oh great. Esok got a whole bunch of stuffs to prepare for the meeting the day after tomorrow.

I cant schleep and tomorrow's work. So whats new. Fuck the question mark thus impregnate the shallow minds which shall subsequently gives birth to Curiosity.

I've missed Eminem. I bet the whole industry's missed him quite sorely. Love him or hate him, the man like Tupac, holds certain appeal to both his fans and naysayers. That said, the first single for his Relapse album, scheduled to drop on the head of May, might just draw criticisms that deserves criticism for the criticisms. I mean overall independent or mainstream reviews and comments have revolved around how Em is getting old, the issues that he plucked so to speak. But I read the SAME exact review back when Marshall Mathers LP was dropped and you didnt even have to guess that it went Multi-Platinum.

I mean Eminem is just who he is. I wouldn't like him if he didnt do what he did. Btw, Sarah Palin in the vid looks so droolsome.

And.

Recently I've grown kinda fond of Lady Gaga. lol. Yea I think shes cute. But more than that. I think shes fuckin cool. (read: Pokerface vid). Yea that video has got me watching it over and over again studying her body language and gestures. Yes sir, no underhanded activity is going on here. Plain star struck moments which are quite easily the same with every container of soul.

Poker Face

I've always admired individuals who can maintain a pokerface despite feeling engulfed with fierce devouring fear. Been thinking about enrolling in public speaking class so that I'll make Obama's oratory skill so pale in comparison to mine that people thought he was white.

I think more or less I can at least maintain the state of my face, though I've never actually seen the playback of my conversation or heated debates in meeting rooms. While I can maintain the flickering presence of confidence to a certain extent, drowning perspiration has always betrayed the fragile front. Am a guy who naturally perspire quite effortlessly even when its not wanted. Quite befitting to say that it chose to appear when the time is not right.

Oh Well. Yea whatever. Besok MU, Arsenal. Both arch rivals from way back. Tho I suspect and hope that the match to be entertaining. Am telling you I could do without. Fuck entertainment so long as you win. Even if its half against a nil. Its still a fuckin' win.

P/S: Girls in office attire equals HAWTNESS. (read: Irma Hasmie) :|~ *drools*

Pffffffffffftttttttt Updated.

Interview isn't until 2.15 on the P.M but I still haven't got my certs certified. Job Letter of Offer faxed. And to tumpang my relative's office fax. Since its the nearest. And Mak's growling is growing increasingly rapid. So I better move my ass and spare me a morning sermon for now.

Laters skaters.

Pffffffftttttt.

Whats cracking dickheads ? I dont feel really well but I just gotta blog this. I was already shortlisted for the ehem, yea for the interview. Yea interview. Sue me. Its a 5000 over candidates competition. And I have reasons to be proud of myself of course.

So lets just pray that everything goes well.

Pfft.

And That's Why..
Current Listen: The Pussycat Dolls feat. A.Rahman - Jai Ho (You're My Destiny).mp3
Nota Kaki: Rose Dawson was Love. *smooch*

Now I remember why I so hate watching sad/tragic movies, coz believe it or not I am a person who got effected so much when something like Rose had to leave Jack down the cruel ocean or Ho Nam's girlfriend was shot dead by that damn evil villain Crow or something.

I just watched Titanic and God, Omaigod ! I got so bothered and its so fuckin awfully sad.

Its all Fly FM's fault for having reminded me of how magnificently crafted a movie Titanic was. "Am flying.. Jack !" Damn damn damn.

But I gotta say that rewatching the movie after some 13 years of its release just gave a sheerly refreshing and dreadfully tragic feeling all the same. Back when I was 12, or was it 13 ? Erm fuck it. So yea, back when I was 12, though I could appreciate the beauty of the movie, it was more or less one of the many Cerita Orang Putih that I've seen. And of course the center of the attraction was when the classic car's windshield suddenly turned all steamy (and then all of a sudden Rose's hand falls slowly and wiping the screen off the steam). Yea, that was back then. And oh the drawing part. Even better.

Yea but that was back then. Now that I could understand the language a little better. The subtle messages a little better. Gone through somewhat identical pain altogether. The beauty of the movie has somewhat transcended the shine of light.

Lined up in the pantheons of epic.

Enter Baldhead Fuck(You) Face.

Yup, its that time of the year again. It was quite hard. Harder than I'd imagine. But times have decided that the separation is long overdue. Thus, entering with a Bang. The Baldheaded Me. Yea, I'll talk to you guys later.

Now bow ye' lowly Earthlings.

Dont We Love Monkeys ?

Here they come again. The circus from out of town. A bunch of well trained Monkeys trained to caress their masters with the tip of their tongues. The most loyal kind. So loyal that they are willing to hand their masters the whips so that they'd get whooped.

A bunch of trained apes peacocking each's gusto by singing, reciting poem and drooling cheap tears. So that everyone especially the higher ups would even look just for a while. Even just for a little while. Seriously, these are some serious monkeys.

Dont we love monkeys ? They amuse us to no end..

The Bucket List. Revisited & Updated.
Current Listen: 2Pac - Still I Rise.mp3

Been thinking this to myself.

Sometimes I just wanna be wrapped in pitch darkness. Lost in thoughts. Far from everything and everyone so that I could fink (read: think). Well, in current context that's just too luxurious. Naiveté. Wishful thinking. Or call it what you may. But if that's the entry fee to the Utopia of beautiful dreams and fascinating wishes - Naive and wishful thinking it is.

So today I snatch the idea of the 'Pitch Darkness'. How, is another story that is of much lesser significance than the outcome. So fuck the hows.

There I was thinking to myself, as I always have, but was just too distracted with variations of daily bullshits and craps to actually visualize them. I therefore concluded loads and am only able to spill these few since there were too many conclusions, they became pointless. But hey..

• Losing a few pounds of 'Horizontal height' that have rendered me schleepless due to the not so favorable outlook in recent pixels.

• Tangkap these kind of pixels just for the fun of it:

The Ha-Ha Dance, as I call it.

Couldn't find a more appropriate pixels of this dance since I dunno whats its name - hence I had to draw it and at the same time disqualifying me to Google the fuck out of it. So apologize to yourselves for failing to inform me better. I've forgiven you on my part, however.

Been liking this kind of pix for as long as I can remember. The key criteria involves the subject(s), a bright bleu sky and well, I dunno.. good senses ? Fuck it. But yea. This is what I tried to do in Penang but with a puny resemblance in the outcome. (read: The Blog's header)

So lets. With a Blast !

Cibet - Word of Thy Week.

Cibet. MU kalah lagi. I feel so restless,I can't sleep. No, not because MU kalah or whatever. Tuka tempat tido is one thing I can't compromise when trying to get my eyes to rest. So here I am dreading the hours.

Hrm what should I do now ? Its 3 zero 5 in the A.M and my vision is as clear as when the sun towers the skies. Am up for a very rough night. Very.

Sighs. Should've gone back when I got the chance to.

Behind A Glass Expression - Thousand Broken Smiles.
Current Listen: The Times - Infra Merah.mp3
Nota Kaki: Makcik's my cuz. Manage to curi the pixels frm her FS.

Who would've thought. Kak Ina dubbed Minah Letupan by none other than The Geniusidally Wise One, Me, behind those squeaky smooth glass expressions, a thousand broken smiles. A secret she hold so dear intact for 6 years. And only known to the stars in the sky that blanket the darkest of nights. And 10s of pillows she wet in solitary.

Bearing the whole weight of the world on her shoulder so that she'd protect the faces that she cares about. To protect them from the unprejudiced debris of the painful affair. How, never would have I grasped.

I have a new found respect for the Makcik. 6 years of silent tears. I would've crumbled. She managed to finish her degree and excel in between. Seriously, what tenacity. She didnt present a single drop of tears when the dude decided to walk away. And he doesnt even know that she wriths in stabbing pain all the while for him. And the tears didnt hide away when she views the dude's FS or when she engages him online (he does Medic somewhere in foreign land). Even now.

I told her just how plenty strong she is and she should know that this isnt gonna last forever and cherish the present moments for she should be joyful that she's gonna come out of this even stronger. Granted that she survives the ordeal. And she will.

Gila ah Makcik, you're ways more twisted than I thought.

The 4 A.M. Post.

The last thing I remembered was replying Sheri's SMS asking me where my father is. A little further down the road, when I all detached senses start to fall in place back again, the clock's face was punched somewhere around 4. Its in the AM. I guess I'll just check on my torrent downloads. And ah there was the heat-preserving mug that I've just bought, to cater my addiction for caffeine and my habit of leaving it for quite some time until it becomes cold enough for me just to pour it into the abyss of the kitchen's sink.

And thats just the most genius-cydal thing to do, given how the clock's face was bruised around 4. I mean here I am, all clear and feeling smarter than ever.

I guess I'll just share some of the recent captions (read:Hepi) from a trip that I was just back from - Penang, Food Heaven, since my relationship with Ms. Pillow has just prematurely ended.

Well that's when I come back.

A Twenty Five Years YOUNG's First Post.

Yea finally. The numbers are catching up. Thanx to ye thoughtfoul folks for all the SMSes, well-wishes and what have you. I know, I know am just loveable like that. But don't worry, I luv you too. Janji. X tipu. Pinky swear even. lol.

But hey seriously, thanx... Am flattered really. :"}

The Deadlock Post.

Am applying for a new job. Well its quite a renowned institution.

Am so hoping that I'll get this deal. I've reached the point here, where enough is just enough. Am given a task too many with all of them tagged - URGENT!!

So tell me how the hell do I prioritize ?

Sales reports on its monthly basis is as is busy as it is. Its a practice full of running high and low just to get the sales' figures of 150 (and still counting) something outlets tabulated - and oh, not to mention ACCURATELY, from a few different sources namely - The System & The People.

Good Lord, when you combine these forces and confront them on your own, the result is genocide. The system relies heavily on the availability of the network and albeit the human factor, so it still pretty much boggles down to the reliant of human perps. Plus the flaws that are seemingly forever make it even merrier.

And when it all seems lost.. Well, you're just gonna lose even more.

Relying on human - the so called retailers, to submit their sales figures to us so that we could charge them on Royalty basis and rentals. How luvly do you think that is ? Granted, there are a few good natured retailers who submit their sales figures on time and didn't twist and turn the figure here and there to their likings. How many of them do you think even exist in the world ? Well chances are as slim as Anne Roxias going on hunger strike.

So now sum it up to complete just a report. And multiply the life-draining efforts to a quadruple of times. What you get is an even more comprehensive weekly sales basis. Single handedly engineered by our new Senior General Manager (SGM). Lovely character, really. So now you do the same exact runs, only just 4 times the effort. INsignificant if you ask me. No am not lying, you bitch !

There you go. Now come the ownership of Point of Sales (POS) machine that I was entrusted with as the guardian. Some people, as loads of them hover over the corporate atmosphere, they would say that its just a matter of sending the retailers the form, get them to fill in all the blanks, deliver the system, bill them accordingly - and zoom your work is done. You score an A. Easy fucks.

If you would just take your time to notice, pause for a bit - Play all the actions again, backwards. What you get in betweens are -

• Getting the retailers to reach me, which if ever a kucing is gonna have tanduk, maybe they would, or as has become the standard practice, I have to reach them over, rub their shoulders and hand them the forms.
  
• Contact them should they fail to resubmit the thing.
  
• Coordinate the placement of how many POS for how many tenants.
  
• Knowing the exact geographical coordinate of their outlet's location - lest they would have an outlet on top of Mt. Everest and having problems connecting with KLIA's VLAN.
  
• Coordination work and liaising with respective departments, who are yet to fall short on staff when the time requires them most.
  
• The ever so tangled means of billing and;
  
• a few hundred thousand over etcetras more.

Well that is all.

Then come the less twisted scopes, credit control dicks and pussies. The special SM and SGM's office culprits. And a few more that I might have forgotten to mention, which I am terribly sorry of but still fuck you any any ways. Those are the less twisted works, days when I emphasize on those job is the most luvly, so luvlyI could go back home as early as 8.oo PM. Nevermind that it's exceeded 3 hours after the real balik time. But who cares. Those who went back, and me - We are 2 sides of the same coin. We may work under the same roof but am sorry am not your ordinary Joe Breadwinner. Yea right.

So there goes my 2 millions, hence spare your 2 cents if you're planning on a donation spree. Am just tired.. Sometimes I feel like its pointless. They all are. Everyday is another cycle of struggles and pressures. Rarely that I complete one job in a day and move to another one. Instead I juggle everything simultaneously and continue them the next day. So instead of a job settled and another one in progress, its two jobs delayed - since EVERYTHING is urgent.

And the fact that our company has been denied staffs recruitment makes it even more frustrating and surely the light that was seemingly bright at the end of the tunnel, now are no more than a mere few light matches survival - on a pitch black night.

Its noteworthy to say that I do love my job. I love the people, SOME of the colleagues, the environment, the experiences, the chances and the faith that my superiors have given me despite a few of my hiatus(es). The company is nurtured with a good working culture, well the department at least. But its just the point in life, I like to think that everybody have at least one of this point. A point so burdening that motivation is often a distant of home away. Scarce.

Is this goodbye ?

Businessman Pleads For Political Truce - Joke Who Jokes.

(Business Times Singapore) KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 27 — A businessman has taken a full-page advertisement in a major daily newspaper asking warring political parties to call a truce and focus on the shaky economy and jobs.

Consultant Anas Zubedy shelled out more than RM36,000 for his advertisement yesterday in The Star, the country's biggest-selling English-language newspaper.

In the ad, he spoke of the challenges faced by his 20 staff, their fears for the future — and how the country's leaders seem oblivious to the anxiety that he feels is gripping the nation.

“Whether (the governing) Barisan Nasional or (opposition) Pakatan Rakyat (PR) leads is meaningless . . . if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table,” he wrote.

“Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and just let go. The nation can wait until the next general election if they want change.

“Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR lawmakers. You have proved your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general election if they want your party.”

Anas called on politicians from all sides to “get together and compromise”, telling them: “Someone has to give in. Take the nation to heart. That's why you are in politics in the first place. Focus on the people. Focus on the economy.”

The last time an individual placed a full-page newspaper ad about their political feelings was in 1998, when the late social scientist Tan Sri Dr Noordin Sopiee attacked former US Vice-President Al Gore for praising Malaysia's “Reformasi” movement at an international banquet hosted by former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

The Reformasi movement supported Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, who Dr Mahathir had just sacked as deputy premier. Noordin felt that it was rude of Gore to attack Dr Mahathir at a banquet attended by many foreign leaders.

In the ad, Anas may have articulated what many Malaysians, frustrated over the constant political bickering, really feel — that the government has been distracted from more important matters.

For instance, a second economic stimulus package, mooted by Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak in December last year, is only being tabled on March 10 this year.

Some observers say that Anas's message — and his willingness to pay more than RM36,000 to get it across — could galvanise mass support.

“He is echoing what many of us are thinking — that enough is enough, and that everyone needs to get down and get back to work,” activist and writer Marina Mahathir wrote in her blog on Wednesday.

But whether Anas will move politicians is anyone's guess.

My dear friend, this is not a war. The ruling parties are flexing their muscles and exerting their power on those who dare speak up. Your shallow observation and shortsightedness are living proofs that they're doing so. And well too. Look at how ill informed and ignorant you are.

Your call for the so called warring factions cant help but fall in the same boat with the rhetorical United Nonsense's (UN) piss making effort. Calling those involved in the Palestinians' crisis to make peace while failing so flamboyantly to disarm Israel. Do you expect Hamas to not protect its people ?

Ok, I digressed.

So do you expect PR to lay down their guns ? We are facing political mutilation on daily basis and you expect us to shut our mouths ? Aww c'mon. Seriously. BASIC COMMON SENSE 101.

And if you're ever so concerned about your staffs' well being, their challenges and uncertainties, you see, 36 Grands can do wonders in these desperate times, rather than a certainly-wouldn't-be-heeded ads on stupid rhetorical preaches.

Aren't you just funny ?

Thus, it would help, significantly if you just ponder on this fact - those who wield the power, at their disposal are an army of medias, armed forces and lapdogs ready to die at the part of their lips.

Now who are you kidding ?

The Pirates Say It Best.

Ripped off from The Pirate Bay. Google Pirate Bay if you are just two damn illiterates to actually know what and who they are. Good laugh.

Character Assassination 101.

Walking Tall.

Class, pay your utmost attention. Or, pleasantly fuck yourselves.

Writing in support of Elizabeth Wong. Yea, she was sleeping half naked. Yea she was with her boyfriend. So whats the big deal ?

Fuck, she could be walking around butt naked and having sex on the kitchen's floor and that does not mean she should be publicly paraded and hanged to the people's contempt.

Who the fuck are you to judge her ? You people could probably have done worse, and lucky you YOU'RE NOT AS FAMOUS. Heh.

This will quickly bring your distorted minds to Chua Soi Lek on why hes guilty and Liz's not. THE MAN'S SUPPOSEDLY, HAPPILY MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS IN THE PROCESS. Liz on the other hand, is single. And its only normal for her to have a healthy sexual life. Well, unless her name is Nurul Elizabeth Abdullah or something, no faggots, she's not guilty.

She's the victim of a despicably filthy political ploy. Character assassination committed in a BROAD DAYLIGHT. And hey, I dont blame you if you choose to blame her. You're an Idiot after all. That's what you do. And what you do best. Being a perfect Idiot.