Because Do Gooders Are So Overrated.

At first it seemed pretty. Noble even. Then it gets pretty noble. But when shits have hit the fan & while the fan was spinning. Everything gets Rosmoh-ugly (Big Pun intended).

I mean how much of that all-advice all knowing rhetoric can a guy take before the inevitable puke arrives ? You know Do Gooders, surprisingly turn out to be more agitating than the naturally obnoxious assholes who won't even try to please you. Simply because these assholes wouldn't even try.

Goo Dooders, on the other hand attempt to advice you on an hourly basis and try to instill at least one moral value in everything they demonstrate. I mean how much more moralistic could you get scratching your butt off anyways ?

I digressed. But Goo Dooders are simply more annoying because out-rightly they seem to be helping you in all forms of sincerity but secretly, you cannot escape that disdainful eyes trying to tell you how much better they are from you.

I guess that's why.

"Wuse werds and cracq kuotes"

There's no point to stop being a dick just to become a better asshole..

is what my mind had stymbled upoin as a reward of being so bright eyed when all that was opened are best left shut. Wuse werds and cracq kuotes are the fruits of my laborious streaks of schleeplessness. There's nothing wrong though is as much as I am capable of - as far as justification concurs, with the combination of a tids and tads of intellect mixed with a little bit of nightly intoxication.

Its just that it seems everything is just where they're supposed to be except that you're walking on the ceiling upside down. Well now looks who's walking the talk. Or rather, no, no rather.

I'd rather try to talk my pillow out of allowing me some grace period. With grace. No, not the Gracey Skirty next door, the Grace grace. Yes.

Now where did I shelve my pills ?

Now Where Is Sleep When You Need It ?

Am in dire need of schleep in what approximately should be 4 'o in the Aminah Masri (read: AM). Why do these eyelids weigh a feather when you need them to super-size their inches ?

Tomorrow's work and here I am.. Counting pigs - legions of them.

Cameron 2010 - Never Gets Old.

Reasons To Be Happy.

1. Officially hit the 100th Kilometers marks. (101 actually) for July run run session. And she's not even finished yet.

2. Off to Cameron (again ?!!!) in a bit.

Yay !!!! x 10

Notes: Save the last hurrah, not that puitis over my hujah.

Adolf Hitler

I have. ALWAYS. Admired Adolf Hitler, albeit in silence. Growing up, begrudging the man was socially 'correct'.

But deep within the abyss of my heart, betrayed a little curiosity - A man with such charisma. A man as charismatic and as oratorically blessed such as him couldn't be the bad guy. Yes were they myopic and young on my part.

But men, such as him & Osama (yes I am a staunch supporter) will always be crucified. Such is the price you chose to pay for your choice of direct confrontation against the West in general and the Jews, specifically.

I digressed. But men such as Hitler couldn't be the bad guy. Yes, I just have this soft spot for those with enviable oratory skills. But I'm just glad that my little betraying suspicions and curiosities weren't just mere wishful thinking on my part. Adolf Hitler ADMIRED Islam and he hated the prolonged internal strife between factions of Islamic ideologies. For this will surely weaken Islam one day - and so was he proven.

Some excerpts here and there:

"Atas rasa kagum beliau pada Tamadun Islam, beliau telah mencetak risalah berkaitan Islam dan diedarkan kepada tentera Nazi semasa perang, walaupun kepada tentera yang bukan Islam."

"Beliau juga telah meberi peluang kepada tentera German yang beragama Islam untuk menunaikan solat ketika masuk waktu di mana jua...bahkan tentera German pernah bersolat di dataran Berlin dan Hitler ketika itu menunggu sehingga mereka tamat solat jemaah untuk menyampaikan ucapan beliau..."

"Beliau juga meminta para Sheikh untuk mendampingi tentera beliau bagi mendoakan mereka yang bukan Islam dan memberi semangat kepada yang beragama Islam.."

What a shed of different lights. I'm schmiling. Schmile. Mind relieving. Cling I may to the past, to the Future I hold fast. Heh & I just rhymed. I dunno why but I find it to be a mighty relief. Feels like the age of Sacred Islamic Caliphate is within sights. Within a grasp. Seriously I dunno why. But thank You God.

What a different world it'd be if you're the owner of the quilt that wrote history.

Israel (May Godly Wrath befalls upon you) has been using Holocaust at their convenience. A weapon in their countless justification of their offensive Self Defense. Thus Adolf's adoption of wiping them off the map modus operandi somehow seemed noble and draws endless satisfied relieve off my chest.

I couldn't help but schmile, again and again.

Tips for a Better Life
Nota Kaki: Never gets old..

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007 (erm, how about '09 ?).
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

In case you're wondering the wonders of the wonderful author (read: Me, me, me & no one else) - its a reentry of a post dated way back in 2008. And it was a stolen one. But is somehow now rightfully mine. Albeit with much litigation and legal proceedings that I've gone through - in my mind, mind you.

But enjoy. And be thankful that I've decided to descent from my throne and bless you with a little gift from the upper floors - courtesy of your Benevolent Emperor.

The ROFL Post.

Haha. This is weird. To think that I'd say this. I miss Zahir while he isn't around. And its not like we spend most of our time eating ice creams together while staring into each others' eyes so brotherly & lovingly. We shut our doors and dwell into our own businesses once we got back from our killing routines everyday.

But now that the little guy isn't here, off to some Masjid camp with his classmates. I feel a little lonely. See, he's been talking about the camp thinggy for the past few days according to my mom when I phoned her just now and I DIDN'T KNOW. Just to demonstrate how close we are in our daily dealings. And Mak also told me that that lazy bum even get up early to WASH HIS OWN CLOTHES.

OK, the above is purposely left blank to give ways to my 'rolling on the floor laughing' moment. And I'll leave it to your sick creativity to visualize the graphic content.

The lazy bum barely washed his berak properly. And he get up early to wash, rinse and dry his clothes. We should really conduct a Kenduri Pulut Kuning. lol.

*rolling on the floor laughing again*

My Short-Lived F-788dx Love Story

I just bought a Scientific calculator that I couldn't use. And its just the start of the sem. No, this is not bad omen. Is what am telling to myself. But seriously, being the Imperfect Perfectionist that I am, am I seriously sighing my ass off.

I was so eager to review the chapters so that I may feel at least comfortable once the speedy explanations start to hit. Mind you, us part timers don't have the luxury to take it slow since the lecturers have only about 5 physical meetings to finish all the chapters that take around 130 days for normal students to finish up.

So you could imagine the speed of their lips hitting each other to cover around 2-4 topics per class. And I advise you to stop short at imagining that, because if you were to visualize the rapidness of the wrinkles that form on top of our heads - you'd die dehydrated.

How in the darkest alley of twisted logic that you'd get the following:

14 x 6 = 114.

And I have actually began to think that was the answer till the note book decided to lend me a few slaps of reality. Lucky me it was an exercise where the answers were given.

And to makes matters Meredith-Grey lovely, I'm almost sure that the receipt is already on its way to oblivion. Knowing dear Mater, crumpling pieces of anonymous paper would always find their way through the unforgiving garbage cans.

Hence I can proudly proclaim that I've just stepped into charity mode by donating my hard-earned RM 40 ++ to the smarmy smirking faces of No-This-Isn't-Capitalist Tesco.

What a bitch. Canon bodoh. F-788dx babi.

"Dwelling On It Will Only Make The Night Worse.."

Its heartbreaking to admit that United is not likely gonna sign anyone of major impact especially in the midfield area where creativity has been a luxury demand rather than a necessity.

I missed the United old days where Scholes would pull the strings from the middle area so majestically and Keano would put muscles and gritty fights into the game - back when Old Trafford was still a fiery sacred ground that slays anyone who dared see her eye to eye.

Heard of a certain Wesley Sneijder heading his way to Old Trafford. I'm still gonna keep my fingers crossed but my hopes up though - for the time being.

I..

I penned these mighty rage
Unleashed feisty a wrath long I cage

I smile at the agony
Chuckles at the Irony

Obese be my words
Weighed down by my hatred

If I could ever find ways to forgiveness
Trust me rather I lost to utter darkness

I..

:)

Today, while waiting for Wan to get over with his endless registration procedures, I met an old friend whom I haven't met since 2001 - the year that we took our SPM, albeit not together like we were supposed to. I just couldn't hide the delight of seeing a face who I once shared the same pillows and the same dreams, so to speak. I hugged the dude. Well fret not coz it took me by the name Surprise too. But hey this is Godop afterall. He remains till this day one of the bestest friend I ever had the chance to have. So yeah..

We've both had our fair shares of dillies and dallies and I'm glad to say that even after all these years we could still laugh at the same corny jokes that used to tickle our bellies, back when we had the luxury to see the world with a little bit more enthusiastic optimism.

Hello, Tis Frank Speaking.

This is Frank speaking. Who's there ? Well yea, frankly speaking I dont like the New Template too. Its too messy and unorganized for my likings. And I am so malas to clean it up. I expect a template that does the job on its own - a click away. So till I find a template that is able to furnish my, that request. I'll just shelve the idea for the moment. But of course from time to time I'll feel so gatal to get all experimental and violate my own blog's chastity.

On the other hand, well, it takes to two tangos. And my suggestive proposition and flirtations are well responded by her. Its rejoicing to know that all the fluid moves weren't actually a solitary tango. She was in rhythm and talem all along. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes !

She actually know that I have someone to the point of knowing her profession. So what business that she has knowing what my used to be better half does for life ? Well of course :} :} :} :}

New Template.

Tell me what YOU think. Preeetty pweasee ?

The I Am So Malas Nak Mampus But Still Feel Inclined To Post This Post

I gave an Ice Breaker speech today. Toastmaster's platform. I thought what I spat was quite good. Content wise. The idea is there though I know much much better things could be said. Stage fright mental block sure is costly. I know all the principles, the pauses and structures to make my speech engraving marks. But the stage fright stage fright.

I wanna do it again and again and again. I know am destined for big things to come and I couldn't wait. I hate waiting. I wanna conquer the stage and enchant the hearts.

What I really want is not the ability to deliver confident speech rather the longing for social validation. Like I am trying to fill the void, my very innate longing for recognition. I have heard and I have found it to be true to certain extend that this is an indirect indication of lack of love or attention while growing up.

So there goes, a very rough entry because am so malas to flowerize my words and sentences. And fuck it.

"No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"

Parts and parcels of being a Genius is having no equals to deliberate your audible thoughts, reason being, with chief suspect - a different wavelength. A very different one that separates you apart from the common masses.

Thus I can't help but feel so lonely at times. Not having anyone to really to talk to. Or worse, having one or two who'd retort back as soon as I part my lips sharing my tales, my grievance, my dreams.

Judgementalizing the whole process.

And when I say talk to, it means that I am friendless psycho who sits in solitary corners while people socializes themselves. And if you'd believe that I would advise you to lay some clothes on the floor so as not to burden ones who would wipe your shit off the floor once you've successfully hung yourself by the ceiling fan.

I digressed, but am tired of etiquette and all those goody goody advices for as far as I am concerned - "No good deeds goes unpunished."

Don't start telling me those, I invented them. And I've seen how some real twisted ideologies and gravity defying methods do wonders and taking me where I am (and am not yet finished). For nothing, yes am staking a huge bet here, NOTHING in this world is what it seems. You don't get what you wish for by being nice. And guys please, compliments wont be taking you any closer to her damned pants. And as far as cliches go, the jerks are the ones commandeering the higher floors of corporate ladders. Yet you wonder why all you see is shit coming from the top when assholes are calling the shots.

There, you have it. So save you rhetorics for you've seen nothing I have witnessed.

"Despite the many faces who passed through,
It was always You, I always do.."

Was inches away from scribing my thoughts to just realize that am pointless. The sharp tip that's always been a loyal companion when I am better off left alone. Indescribably melancholic. I drift the night away backing and forth, realizing the need to press on, but somehow felt short of having any idea on what to be pressed upon.

Why this ? And why now ?

The omnipresent urge to feel the gaping void. Not your everyday 'gaping void' for it is a humongous black hole that practically absorbs mental masturbations but with little to no indication of spluttering a belch. It is never satisfied. For I have no idea what I want nor how to want it so bad that it'd transcend to its physical counterpart. Everything have I ever dared dreamt about come and make their exits as fast they surface. I haven't grasped nor have I ever known the concept of getting what I want, and really want it that I'd push my limit to get it. Everything's been scripted and you're the hideous Phantom expected to swallow the roles assigned to you by the society.

Thus you're not expected to resist - blindfold your judgment and poke your intellect in the eye then embrace the VerDicks the society has been kind enough to mete you out.

And by the way don't bother trying to decipher any hidden propaganda or propagandist behind the eclipsed words for it takes no genius to figure out that when a man's crapping his pants the way that I'm treating you guys to now - a girl's hand's gotta be involved somewhere somehow something threesome and awesome. There, that, hopefully shall some up the whole piss.

THE PISSED THE FUCK OFF POST.

God am so fuckin pissed I don't even know how to deliberate nonchalance. I'm shaking from anger. WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE ? You're Syapie Apdal's wife ? So what ? So what makes you so fuckin special god fuckin damnit ? Embrassed my mother like that, then having the audacity to ask her where she works ? She's a Nobody, you dumb bloody idiot. You on the other fuckin hand are a MINISTER'S WIFE, BODOH. Pukiamak kau.

I am so tinkering with going all the way - Opposition would love this don't they ? And NOT TO MENTION, Government's favorite hate pot. Fuckin read: Malaysia Today. Fine you wanna play the rough ball since I bet you husband's are from being one. Fine, lets go all the fuckin way. Lets fuckin go.

My Heart Bleeds For You.

Oh I Forgot.

And how in the hell did I forget ? Bayern had their asses handed over to them by the incredible Maurinho's Inter Milan. The effect of the non alcoholic hangover is still subsiding. I'll revert back to you guys with a few mockeries in no time.

But in the meantime:

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh.

*inhales* *exhales*

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh.

*inhales* *exhales*

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh.

The Baskin-Robbins Hangover & Fuck No, I Forgot.

Woke up this morning feeling rather enthusiastic. I can't seem to recall much about yesterday. Well, I mean right after I've smothered myself in between a sandwich of pillows - what else is there to remember ?

The pening was Urghhh. Its like a hangover minus the alcohol. Baskin-Robbins did the job pretty damn fine as far as you're not concerned. 3 regular scoops plus caramel topping made it feel like questioning the legitimacy of having rice paddy fields all over the country when it should have just been BR booths throughout. And it wasn't Tamak as coined by Kak Na - rather the sexcitement. No seriously, I insist. I mean with all the flavors available you only got to pick 2 for waffle coned sundae. Hence I went for the scoops instead. Of which I pretty much, erm regret ? Hrmm. That needs some pondering later. Or maybe, guilty pleasure - first, about the fact that I was having a hard time finishing the fast melting treat. Second, about my workout project management. Dang its so hard to keep up to the good words you commit to yourself in the solitary of the night when in the presence of walking currency(ies) and an impulse spender, not to mention, her employment of Bottomless Pit to serve her tummy department.

And that was practically our third meal for the day. And it wasn't the biggest.

It was all due to the innocent 'Hey before you go back to Kelantan lets go to this Assam Pedam place I know which offers one of the best Assam Pedas I've stumbled upon by far' SMS to my cousin who's doing her meds thinggy at Kelantan and was complaining how hard it is to staff her Bottomless Pit considering her unfortunate unfortunate geographical attachment. Must've cursed the day her mentor's dart chose to pierce that side of the topography. Ha ha.

And if my 'Topple My Horizontal Peaks' Conquest were to fail, looks like I'm left with the only option - Darts through her ass. Well, literally.

Don't Read This. No Seriously.

Just got back from Futsal game with my not so peers. Well peers of a classmate, rather. And Gosh, am so !#@#$%^& - I was practically dragging the team. Damnit damnit damnit. I hate to be ignored to oblivion. But I hate to be paid attention for the wrong reasons too.

Well, not gonna make excuse for myself rather, the excuse made themselves for me. So I was so out of form due to leaving the, MY beloved sport for quite some times and I've grown so horizontally intriguing that a mere mediocrity looked out of this world at the backdrop of my Shabby not so in Singh (read: My Team) performance.

Well I'm not gonna kid myself, I wasn't that much of a Superstar whom groupies would like to get an autograph just to wrap their breasts around with. But a few sparks of brilliance do get their cameos from time to time. But that was it. But this, I can't take this. I can't handle NOT being in the center of attention. Well don't bother pardoning my Narcissism. I'm only gonna apologize that mine is so huge, I thought the Universe revolves within the seams of my pants and that I thought Leftie was the earth and Righty was the Sun when they were just balls, albeit golden ones.

Dear God, please please please let me have my old form. Please let me remember with every gestures of movement and guide me to a step closer to the reminiscent.

Thank You.

Heh.

Perangai time mintak tolong dengan time your wish not granted lain gila ok. And the best thing is the time gap in between wish granted and your request HAD to be denied are just few hours away. And you wonder how and why I lost my temper as quick as bad habits resurface in fidgeting children.

I Have A Dream
Current Listen: Common - I Have A Dream.mp3

I would really really really love to watch a United game within the Old Trafford sacred ground among the Reds faithfuls. And to see the likes of Berbatov doing his magics. Despite all the cynical mockeries that have come his way.

One writer even went as far as to put it:

"When it clicks, his languid style makes it look like he's pulling the strings effortlessly, but when it doesn't he looks more like an expensive mistake that doesn't care - a misfiring £30 million weapon."

..of which I find to be really agitating and uncalled for. Its really hard to swallow your team's loss - especially when you've won it 3 times in a row.

What's even worse is that you know, everybody does, that the team needs some tweakings here and there and all the CEO does is keep insisting that the manager has all the funds he needs to spend on whichever player that he likes. The Gaffer on the contrary, kept on insisting that he needs only one or two players to complement the whole salad dressing. That was the same exact, not to mention, worrying tone we heard on the start of the newly completed season. And here we are, knocked out of the Champions League - albeit with a little bit of unluckiness, and subsequently AND more importantly - The Premier League.

The players have indeed done us proud. With so many dismissing our ability to remain in the top tier of the competition - let alone retaining the League (due to the summer departures of 2 of our biggest names and the limited resources - plus the 'only natural' reluctance to spend) We send so many of the ready-made dumbfucks packing to the wrong end of shame. But then again you know that the team exudes of so many potentials - yet live up only to a countable few - due to off field matters that are way way beyond their hands.

Its maddeningly saddening.

Like how a genius kid who came from a poor family who have got all the futures ahead of him, who could at least, unlucky as he is, afford to get a decent job and support his family by completing his SPM - yet had to settle for jobs at the mere age of sixteen.

Comparing a football club's and the poor kid's fate might be a little off and selfish. But when you've been growing up watching the likes of King Cantona strutting his chest gracing the Stretford End. I bet you still wouldn't know how important United is to me.

Look, I've taken you for another ride - again. And the only one guilty is your choice to read on.

So yeah, like the kid, us United fans will have to keep our heads high and strut our chests come what may. Being poor, a lot like football club ownership policy is not an option. Its given. May be a gift even. There's practically everything we could do and yet nothing would ever budge. Hence what we do is we trust and we keep our faiths - then we fight on.

And trust me when I say there's nothing entertainment in everything United. Its personal.

Zee Avi - Someone You Used To Know
Nota Kaki: The song's put me in so jiwang a state.

It was helpless anyway
There's nothing much we could do or say
Darling don't you think it's a shame?
that it had to end this way

So here's to say goodbye,
our love is lost, and we cant figure why
maybe it really is about time
that we finally made up our minds

So Darling, here's to you
i hope that when you find someone new
that she would always be true to you
to love and understand you

Soon you'll build new memories
then slowly you'd forget about me
then i would slowly be
a distant memory

Soon i'll just be
that someone you used to know
But darling you will thank me
for letting you go
time is not for wasting
i hope you'll find your intended
But i'm sorry
that your intended isn't me

it's not an easy thing
to shake off our history
i know that's what you want from me
but they will always stay with me

i admit i made mistakes
but darling with you it's just the same
if we stay there'll be more to make
dont know how much more we can take

Darling, it would be unfair
to stay with something no longer there
Its not that I no longer care
I'd feel like a burden you cannot bear.

Saya Pun Tidak Tahu.
Nota Kaki: Loving every minutes of Zee Avi

Just watched the Twilight New Moon. Yeah, THE Twilight that girls were going so ga-ga about. Well I guess I can understand the hype. Not necessarily a fan though, far swinging - a convert.

Well I just feel like entry-ing the shit. And I've totally forgotten what's so significant about having this as an entry.

Justice For Aminul Rasyid.

Its a very, very sad day for for the country. For truth and justice. For the grieving family. For the friends and folks. And of all - humanity.

Let us remember this day. Let us pray. For Allah has GUARANTEED that the prayers of the oppressed are of without hijab. Attended to directly by The Almighty Creator Himself.

May you be restless in pieces, you filthy perpetrator(s).

Take A Swipe, Break A Swine - Or More.

What beautiful sights.

Beating and handing over City's stupid asses back to them. At EASTLAND. Not to mention in front of their 'Always-Talking-About-Future-Success-But-Never-Able-To-Deliver' fans. What a fuckin sight.

Enter Chelsea at the White Hart Lane. Which obviously aint for the faint hearts. Or handball prone mofo (read: John 'I-Shag-Your-GF Terry). I would've like for Chelshit to be slaughtered to their screeching writhes but Spurs were obviously too confident and too busy pinching their cheeks trying to wake themselves up if they were dreaming. Thus the pinching left them with not a clutter of intellect to find the spot in between the goalpost.

So how do you like your Red counterparts Tevez ? After all those talks about supposedly being the best in the world and how you've shone these past couple of months you didn't actually look like you were scoring. Oh but since the Shitty bastards loved work rate, fine, you won by 100 work rates margin. Look, you won, you won ! But opps, its goal margin, Carlitos. Goal margin. Not how much wank per second you're able to deliver, its how many goals you put in between any Shay Given day. So yeah, welcome to Manchester wanker. The REAL Manchester.

*Inhalesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh

John Terry should try basketball or Netball for that matter, but one cant deny the fact that the poor bastard is eerily good with his hand. Ouch.

Drogba ? Antics. Childish antics. And ugly.

And where's that pacifier ? Somebody's let his kid boy slipped on the pitch and he was picking fights with guys twice his size. OMG, that was Deco!

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh

Pick somebody your size Deco, try Wayne 'Shag-Me-GF' Bridge for a start. Not because he's small. Simply because he's so much of a wimp John 'Hand & Balls' Terry looked like the BIGGER man.

Special mention: Craig 'Golf club' Bellamy for being the constant thorn on the right side of MU defense. And a good eyesore to the fans. But oh well, a hunchback is as a hunchback does.

Decisions Under Risk.

Just got back from a study group lah sangat session with the dudes in class. Among the highlights were Effectiveness and Efficiency of a manager. Kaoru Ishikawa's Quality Circles. Maruiah, the Islamic concept of Management where everything is to be done within the legal boundaries of the Syariah Laws.

Its more of a mentoring session rather than study group orientation, the way I need to anchor the discussions and construct logical arguments of whys and hows of certain alien concepts or so. Its not that I don't prefer such orientation but with the 'big day's footsteps fast approaching. The inevitable knocks are virtually a mere distraction away from haunting my ass off.

But I love those guys and from the bottom of my heart I do hope they make it, as much as I hope to. I guess it doesn't hurt helping them out where I can at least think I am good at and lets hope everything goes well.

I'm making decision with a risk in mind. Another one of the too many Management lexicons whereby the decisions are made with minimal information and forecast about the outcome. There are four known conditions to be making decisions under by the way. They are Certainty, Risk, Uncertainty and Ambiguity.

Oh well, risks are proof enough for you to feel alive. So lets feel good about it. Haven't felt this good for a long time now.So let us relish this moment and oh, time for a bowl of - The Toilet. No, not midnite snacks you junkie freaks.

Part & Parcel..

My so called perfectionist attitude has caused my studies quite dearly. I want everything to be answered or submitted in a manner that meets up my so called ‘standard’. If not, I will not submit it at all.

To make matters worse, I procrastinate the submission because I want it to be ‘proper’ and since ‘proper’ submission will definitely take time- the submission is hence delayed- or worse, not submitted at all. Thing is, even if I submit half halfheartedly too; the marks will at least be satisfactory- NOT zero. When things are zeros, things that were seemingly within my grasp get harder to become realistic. Hence A’s are getting more distant by the days.

Now I don’t even know whether 3.5 CG will be realistic or not. Management course that is supposedly a sure A is not within ‘certain’ distance anymore. Agama seems to be a better bet. English, Insyallah will be fine. By God’s grace.

I need to learn that part of being a student and an employed at the same time is the fact that I have to deal with mediocrity. And loads of it. Part and parcel of being both is the fact that it is rather a game of perseverance than beauty. Its how long can you stay instead of how beautiful can you play.

Its like a game of football with a team of ingenious capabilities- but with less a man.

Part and parcel of being a part-time student is accepting mediocrity as a usual companion. And I have partially accepted the fact when I enrolled for the studies in the first place.

Please God, let me reMember this. Dear God, please don't let me fail this.

The Piss-Off-Fuckface Post

The defeat to Bayern still irks me to this day. Maybe I am such a sore loser. But the manner in which they influenced the ref to card Rafael with the 2nd yellow pisses me off every time it cares to stride along my memory’s lanes.

I know how useless it is to get mad over things I have no control over but I feel reluctant to let it go. In my mind I’m visualizing how Bayern will have their asses handed over to them. And I wish the lost inflicted so big they’ll remember it even in their Amnesias.

School Girls' Rambling.

This post will definitely jeopardize my sanity. And whatever shreds that remain academic in it will be reduced to school girls rambling - where everything from a mosquito bite to a crushed pencil point equals the world's catastrophe. Am so pissed at every little thing and happenings - not to mention the people within as far as my sanity allows.

From a bunch of stupid female students who drove like they were mistakenly awarded a P instead of an L in their oh-so wasteful hours of driving course - to a never trusting p____.

And as am typing this, Blogspot nonchalantly says "Hey, why don't we jump into the fray too ?" - by refusing to allow the 'enter' key on my keyboard to function. You stupid morons. I'm already way too happy with the way Blogspot is or was. Why do you feel inclined to, as you believe - IMPROVE it ? When in truth you're just fucking it up for your own devious desire known only to yourself. What it gets you off seeing how this dis-functionality affects the people's everyday lives ? Fuckin stupid Imbeciles.

God am so pissed that I refuse to let this feeling go. Its true when they say that anger is addictive. Ok, I'll see you guys in a bit.

What ? You thought I was gonna spill the mental beans did you ? Well, good. Coz I wasn't gonna. I just let you had the biggest mental masturbation of the day. And do write in if you feel that I owe you an apology or something. I'm wetting my pants wondering how does it feel to get a lawsuit filed for wasting 5 minutes of some tiny spots of the earth's huge ass population.

It made my school girl bad day.

The Law of Attraction.

When it comes to the Law of Attraction, Mak has proven to me time & time again that determination and hell-bent desire of wanting something alone are able to show you the path that you seek, regardless of how clueless you are at the moment, on how to get it.

Law of Attraction dictates;

"..which is like unto itself is drawn. if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it, but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too."

Its something like When she wants Wan to enroll in Petronas engineering program, she wants it. She doesn't know how its gonna be done. But she wants it nonetheless. So what she does next was to try and tap every potential fountain of chances and tries to do the unthinkable. Things that us intelligent guys dismiss as needlessly stubborn and embarrassing.

For her, she didn't get the chance to further her studies as far as she would have wanted to. And for that particular reason too, she didn't grow up knowing why things CANNOT BE DONE. All she knows is what she wants - and how to get it, or at least how to get near it until its within sniffing distance.

One of the main problem of intelligent guys is the fact that we have this certain idea of how things should and shouldn't work.

In a study conducted by I dunno who (it was mentioned in on of those cult-conventions), so yea, there was this study conducted on habitual behavior of the stock brokers. The purpose of the study was to compare the stock-broking performance of the fresh graduates who learn to do it by the books, the Book-Smarts, and ones who I'd like to refer to as Street-Smart - individuals who had to learn it through observations and practical learning in contrast of theoretical elements.

Interestingly, the study indicated that the Street Smarts tend to do exceptionally well in contrast of their Book Smart counterparts.

Why ? The study went on to mention that the Book Smarts tend to hold to on to their stocks when it was high-time for them to sell. The Street Smarts in comparison, sold their stocks at the word go. We are not talking about primary school kids or some doubtful IPTA grads here, we're talking Cambridge, Harvard and whatnots.

But how in the hell.. ? That's whats interesting. The intelligent guys, like yourself. Time to ponder.

I sometimes feel ashamed that in spite of my bottomless capacity and potentials - I am not able to want as bad as Mak does. I lack the believe that this and that could be done. I lack the believe in myself. And I avoid hardships in life and choose to do what works over and over again.

Looking at her contagious determination makes you want to try harder. I feel renewed. So lets start by playing Dota.

The Sue Me Post.

I have a hard time accepting No as an answer. I dunno, maybe its just me or the fact that I'm the eldest. I've heard somewhere that one of the things people can foretell about you as being the eldest in the family, is the fact that these people have a very, very hard time being declined to.

So when she called a few days later and told me that she was calling simply to talk to me, or whether I'm mad that she had to turn down my lepaking offer due to her preparing to go back to her hometown. I told her - No, its OK, really. And I had to run - something came up.

Sheesh.

Why am I such a..Whats that letter prior to B ? Yes, yes that one. Now pair that letter up with the word hole. Now you've got this nice little chap with a big smile on his face.

NEVER.

NEVER. Did I think that I was gonna be singled out for blame when I thought I was giving you advice. Advice that you nod your head so religiously at, advice that one moment made it seem like all hope for reconciliation is there still. That nothing was totally totaled during these enduring years.

But thanks for proving me wrong. I don't really know whether I will be able to find ways to forgive you.

Dalam Itu Saya Hati, Bunga Juga Ada.
Nota Kaki: Hati saya berbunga dia kedai mamak. Figures.

Her name's Sue. Sue apa, OMG. I forgot again. She's probably gonna snap if I ask her again. So lets just leave it at that and find that out myself later. My buddy thinks she isn't all that attractive but I dunno I simply find her cute and that she triggers the built-in ball busting cocky asshole in me. Just the way she converse and carries herself. So we went out for a drink and I was having a laughter of a time bursting her bubbles.

In the rush of the overflowing pleasantry streams, I suggested an ad-hoc midnite, of which she was pretty much agreeable, only for me to hold back and deliver the - You know what ? Nevermind. Nice. Lets-take-it-slow innuendo accordingly and timely defined. I know, I know. I'm just that whatchamacallit ? - Yes, Genius.

"Dalam itu saya hati, bunga juga ada."

..of Allah & Burning Churches.

So ahead of the times are we Malaysians that we resort back to burning churches. Gallantry ? Not exactly. In the Prophet's time, there was a bunch of Musyrikin thugs who thought it funny to get a Muslim girl's skirt slightly torn and laughed. The girl went on and report the whole incident to the benevolent Prophet.

Next thing you know, 50 friggin thousand soldiers at your door.

Well, something like that. But the whole point is, that was called for. Those rascals should've seen it coming mocking a Muslim like that - and a girl at that.

But this ? Didn't The Prophet himself forbade the cutting off of trees, hostility against women and children, THE BURNING OF CHURCHES ? Does that ring any bells in your shallow heads ? Anything at all ? Seriously, what can be described Islamic in this ? In whose name do you justify this despicable acts of yours ? You shallow bunch of grass weeded minisculed brain retards.

What's the matter with the Christians using the word Allah ? Isn't their God the SAME EXACT God that the Muslims worship ? Isn't their God the same Al-Khaliq - the very same One who put us all here on His earth ? How is their God different than ours ?

AMNO must've believed that the Christians have got a different God than theirs. Which pretty much sums up how pretty dumbfucked they are. Of which, is not even news. Yesterday's.

Before the bell rings, let me just reiterate here for you shallow Push friggin overs, thinking/accepting/agreeing that other religion's God is somewhat different than ours, spills nothing short of Polytheism. Shirk. Sins of the highest degree - by associating partners with Him.

Now seriously, repent. Or perhaps you might wanna Google the word first.

*Spits*

What The Elf, No, Seriously..

We've all heard of goalkeepers tapping in goals for their teams. Though not common, its not rare - well, to a certain extend.

But last night I had this weird dream. I dreamt that Sam Allardyce got so pissed off, he went and take on 3 or 4 defenders before blasting home past the poor goalkeeper. And what's even weirder, he was wearing West Ham outfit, well yea if am not mistaken. I was like What the Elf..

And, and, and MU beat the mighty Wigan 5-0, AGAIN. Yayyyyyyyyyy !

A Chance Upon Post.

Another stumble upon. Nice read and some profound thoughts.

Some excerpts.

"Everybody has a set of arbitrary rules defining the meaning of events in their life. Most people don’t set these rules consciously; instead, they just “grow” into them based on their temperament and upbringing. Because of this, many people have rules that tend to make them miserable.

I’ve known people who, in order to consider themselves really happy, must be on a wonderful vacation, win the lottery, fall in love, eats some rare delicacy, or some other unusual or even once-in-a-lifetime event.

In almost every case, these same people can find virtually any excuse to be miserable. If they miss a stop light, they get upset. If they can’t get a jelly donut in the morning, they’re upset. If they can’t watch their favorite TV show, it ruins their day, etc., etc., etc. They have an endless list of tiny things that steal away their happiness.

People who have those rules about life, are programmed to be miserable, because they’ll encounter dozens of things each day that irritate them, and very few events that will make them happy. And being unhappy or irritated most of the day is the ULTIMATE expression of failure in life.

Consider, then, somebody who complains about having to “click 10 times” to read a Sales Machine post. On the one hand, this person is getting information that could increase lifetime earnings by a million dollars. On the other hand, this person also has to move an index finger 10 times."

My take, Ha-Ha spot on.

We could find like 10 fucking thousand over reasons to be mad and not one thing to smile about. Its just something you and me find hard, to appreciate the little things around us. Things that we deem trivial. We expect white sandy beaches, fishing boats and high lands to make us happy while forgetting to laugh at a cicak who was stuck in a cup while enjoying the left overs in it. lol. That actually happened and he's still enjoying his luxurious little vacation.

The author then continues:

"The solution, of course, is to get off your emotional duff and start doing the hard work of changing your rules. Because here’s the exciting thing: if you switch the two sets around, you’re re-programming yourself to be happy, and therefore to win.

The Hows:

• Decide to have rules that make it easy to be happy. Let little things that happen every day be cause for celebration. Find every excuse possible to take a little pleasure out of life.
• Decide to have rules that make it difficult to be miserable. Save your misery for truly awful things, like the death of a close relative, financial disaster, or a major, debilitating illness."

Source:

http://blogs.bnet.com/salesmachine/

Obama's Annual Speech - The Missing Verses.

Goddamnit 2009 is rolling down her curtain and here I am. Still clueless. About pretty much erm, - every effing thing. Yeah, fuck me. No seriously, I was so religiously optimistic about going to a certain direction - yet that direction eluded me at a stage I thought I was so sure - "This is it!"

But no sire, you're not that special. You're practically like anybody else - sprinting as fast as we could to a certain (yes, certain-ly delusional finish that we wet our pants thinking that it exist) touchline. But again, there was Destiny with the "I-Just-Benchpressed-The-Whole-World" smiley face in the corner. Taunting.

"Ha-Ha I eluded you dumarse again !", she said.

Thus, if its so destined that I shall be the casualty of these vicious cycles so then be it. Lets just keep setting goals and pillage what we can from Life since it's taken far too many from Eye to be bear. Let us revisit 2009 and learn our impending lessons from a total of 12 semesters and 365 classes.

Well, at least until am rajin again..

Piss off, Bitch.

A love letter to Maybank Auto Finance branched in Kompleks PKNS Shah Alam. May you rest in Pieces - Not My Thoughts, obviously. Drench in your tears because rest assured - I will pursue this thing full swing.

"At approximately 2.10 p.m Friday 20th November 2009 I spoke to one of your staff from Kompleks PKNS branch who refuses to give her name all the way through my inquiries. I regret to say that if this kind of behavior is to prevail within your esteemed organization, I'm afraid that your customers' perception of your ongoing efforts will be in jeopardy.

What I was inquiring is my right as a customer who feels that he has been wronged by being overcharged without any credible justification or answers, but calling me names like 'Kurang ajar' and the likes of that indicates more serious signs that something is definitely wrong with your customer service system or that your staff simply lack manners.

Until the person in charge of that particular branch or the staff that I spoke to personally call, explain and apologize to me I will pay only the amount that I deem correct."

Mohd Fakhrolruzi Bin Ahmad
012 - 242 ____

The Pantheons of Epic Cantona
Nota Kaki: Malas nak pk tittle. Fukyu thus.

I've always carelessly told people that one day I'm gonna go watch Manchester United play Chelshit or Liverfool. Yerp one fine day. But I've never really actually believed in that. But seeing a friend's picture at Old Trafford has got me certain that YES ONE DAY I WILL GO WATCH The Red Devils roast The Scouse, preferably to Oblivion. How good is that to watch the likes of Carragher, Torres and Gerrad roasted to purples - right in front of your eyes. Its a stuff of epic.

"..that we bleed just to feel alive.."

That weekend breeze blowing through your window feels so exquisitely splendid on your face when you were busting  your ass around the clock juggling between jobs all week.

Aku Ingin Pulang - Ebiet G. Ade

Kemanapun aku pergi
Bayang bayangmu mengejar
Bersembunyi dimanapun
S'lalu engkau temukan
Aku merasa letih dan ingin sendiri

Ku tanya pada siapa
Tak ada yang menjawab
Sebab semua peristiwa
Hanya di rongga dada
Pergulatan yang panjang dalam kesunyian

Aku mencari jawaban di laut
Ku sadari langkah menyusuri pantai
Aku merasa mendengar suara
Menutupi jalan
Menghentikan petualangan
Du du du

Kemanapun aku pergi
Selalu ku bawa bawa
Perasaan yang bersalah datang menghantuiku
Masih mungkinkah pintumu ku buka
Dengan kunci yang pernah kupatahkan
Lihatlah aku terkapar dan luka
Dengarkanlah jeritan dari dalam jiwa

Aku ingin pulang uhuu
Aku harus pulang uhuu
Aku ingin pulang uhuu
Aku harus pulang uhuu
Aku harus pulang

Thy Illusive Obvious.

I've learnt something that has been so obvious yet eluded us for as long as we can remember. Notice how your grumbling actually has an untold, subtle effect on the people around. And I don't mean it literally, I really mean people around you. The one(s) within your proximity.

Lets say you're grumbling about your parents or your siblings in the presence of your children. They will tend to have negative connotation about the subjects in your fierce grumbling. What I am saying is learn to actually disagree or protest without exclaiming it for the whole world to judge.

It wouldn't help you know that when Raya eves are just around the corner and your children indicate little or no interest to balik kampung and meet their grandparents and would probably backfire, if you should attempt to advice them how this kind of attitude just isn't permitted.

Today Is Nuzul Quran Public HOLIDAY & Here I Am..

Its been a while.

I didn't even write any Merdeka piece for the year. Been even toying with the idea of getting rid of the Blog. But since it doesn't kacau anyone's scrotum's well-being yet, so yea why bother.

See, even as of the moment I'm typing this, my fingers have been running around in circles - between the backspace key and a few letters' key in between. Temporal lost for words have been the theme song for me for quite some time now. Please God, don't let me get immunized.

My mind spells Mediocre at best. Lately everything has been dealt with an excessive dose of Mediocrity. Barrages of movies downloaded just for the sake of downloading and fulfilling the term so Broad a band (read: Broadband). Hence I find myself reluctant to press the Start Menu button and log my PC off. I rarely watch what I download right away, maybe a month or two later, IF they're lucky enough. Capital letters. No mistake.

Books flipped, well literally. How do you flip an ebook for God's sake.

So yea, books flipped for a few pages and then there goes the primary school composition's cliche - "And that was the last time I saw.." - In my case, the book(s) that I downloaded. Am bandwidth freak, neither a movie junkie nor an 8 inches thick glasses bookworm.

Office has never been this gloomy. But even so, days off the office too seem like another extra ordinarily ordinary day - but with a little extra dozing off during the day. And that's it. Oh my God, I can't stop complaining.

And sighing.

Sighs.

The Coroner's Note - Death of Inspiration.
Time of Death: N/A
Current Listen: The Shirelles - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.mp3

Listening to the current song and I just remembered something of substantial depression. Lately, everything and anything will somehow come to me at the light speed of stress. Be it work, life and the people involved. Words wouldn't begin to justify the intensity of the pressure. Yet that sheer intensity has only rendered me somehow - void. Empty.

Its Ironic, really.

Everything is done and required in a rushing manner. Yet the further the track runs, the more clueless I am of where am going. Have had days where I practically dragged my feet to go to work. Whats more bothering is the fact that the cycle of this confusion has only grown more constant in recent times. Where it used to be once or twice a month - now is once or twice a week.

I've forgotten where I started and what did I start these sprints for.

Dying for Inspiration - even a tiny flicker.

Random Quote.

"The greatest trick the Devil's ever pulled was to convince the world that he doesn't exist.."

- The Usual Suspects, 1995

Same Shit Different Mouths.

Owen's a Devil. What shock.

On the heavier note - Sighs. Sighs. That's all I do. Been taking office assignments home for quite a while now. Its depressing. And this is just an out-of-nowhere, ad-hoc assignment, I haven't even started firing holes in Microsoft Excel's blank sheets just yet. And that is the real deal. The one with a hefty price tag and a deadline. The Monthly Sales Report. But then again, we were taught to prioritize, and this was something that HOC himself scratched his temple projecting at the SGM's instruction.

And it just doesn't help one bit if the surrounding fails quite miserably to grasp the situation. Its so much frustrating, it drains your drive, consumes your will at a whim. Persons firing shots at will without much less a thought, landing to conclusions absorbed by their delusions. Ass-suming. God, you're so good at flame throwing your assumptions, your mind reeks of Ne-cavity (read: Negativity).

I think am getting mushy. Mcm punde-

A Hi Too Far..
Current Listen: Estrella - Ternyata.mp3

I just got back from Redang. Hell, interesting as it was tiring. Roller costing emotional ride highs and lows in a matter of a few days.

It was damn fun alrite, laughters and giggles here and there. The snorkeling is one of the most sexciting experience I've yet to encounter. The friends we made. The beach footballs. The cigs. The ______.

But here's the thing, I met this girl, erm not exactly meet but I first saw her when we were ferrying to Redang and I caught her staring, stealing a peek myself. She was sweet alrite. Trying to hide the fact that she was staring. Lovelily adorable. I'm in love. I brushed away all the probabilities. But its OK, we've got all the friggin time in the whole wide world. So why rush.

Things worked their says in a very mysterious way. Thus making matters lovelier, she stayed at the right opposite of our room with her family. I caught her stare, yet again. I was juggling a ball. Football, you faggots, not mine and I think she was smiling, I was too busy juggling both the ball and my fragile 'cool' front - my sibuk sister nonchalantly went like "Checking out chicks eh ?". Sibuk minah ni. Serius. It was brief, But I was sure she smiled at me. And I never got the chance to smile back, too busy minding the busy bodies around. Brief though it was, I think its Spring again.

From thereon, there we were, playing Illusive Obvious, Peek & Hide between us. After the dinners, the breakfasts and the swimming sessions that were organized for the families. I came to be close with her brother. And after a few beach football and smokes together, I think it was time for me to move. So we went out. Me, the brother and his sisters and a younger brother and my brother - looking for memorabilias of our Redang experience. From one shop to another. We were walking shoulder to shoulder and the gap proved to be too far. I couldn't find a tiny inch of space for me to open up and approach up until she was sitting a few distance away from me. We were finally, painstakingly - alone. The others were busy probing the shop's items. And there I was too, busy sorting out the wars in my head. Hence not a single Hi.

Procrastination Fakhrol. Procrastination.

Its OK - I thought to myself, again. I'll get her digits on our ferrying trip when we go back. Just to find out later when I was hanging with out with her brother that they were ferrying back to Kuala Terengganu at the first sight of a ferry at six tomorrow. Huge, enormous I-D-I-O-T blocks fall over my head. And there I was..

Damned - And a Hi too far.

And Then There Was..
Nota Kaki: Random

We're off to Terengganu in a couple of hours. Gotta get a good long schleep first before hitting off the roads. Its Redang after all. So many things to do but fuck it, tido comes first.

• Books
• MP3 Player, Headphone

Erm.. Seriously I'll think of it later.

Something You'll Never Grab A Grasp Upon.

Am interested in this article written by Kazi Mahmood of World Futures. Article here.

Mr. Mahmood was asking - Did the Talibans actually have the military strategy and force to conquer Afghanistan post Soviet period ? Mr. Mahmood, For your information, they were war veterans gathered from all over the world's fronts. So do they ? Yeah maybe you thought they were still using catapults to destroy the vast forces of the Soviets. This sort of analysis helps you know, in getting the US and Nato forces into thinking how the Talibans are a bunch of monkeys who still pop stones and sticks to create fire.

The Taliban, using its diplomatic channels, tried everything they could to prevent the American invasion.

Oh yea ? I don't think they tried hard enough. I mean if they so much cling to the powers, the simplest way would be to hand over Osama to US and you stay in. Even if they did try it from the diplomatic point of view, it's because they fear for their citizens' lives. But then again, being people of great principles, turning Osama in is like turning down the Ummah as a whole.

What are our values in the face of the Ummah's future Mr. Mahmood ? Collaterals. Nothing more. Get Leadership 101, somehow some where in the grueling reality of your career, sooner or later you'll be faced against difficult decisions which shall require a firm say, and priorities rightly set. But maybe even the course itself would prove to be too mentally challenging for the person you stare in the mirror every morning.

Of course those were indeed tough choices, but shots have been fired and tears already dried. Here we are 8 years on, is the US winning ? Has any of the one too many Osama and Mullah Omar's glimpses transcended into their physical equal ? Dont bother thinking from this perspective, seriously, you'll require a lifetime of healing dosage to your brain cells.

And I feel inclined to clarify this. Taliban did not abandon Kabul because they were scared stiff of the US and the chicken shits Northern Alliance forces coming at them, NO. Simply because the US were so brave they endlessly shell remorseless bombardment on Kabul for 3 days and nights on the helpless citizens of Kabul and how the gruesome numbers of casualties increase like Bush's idiocy as he speaks. That was why they chose to retreat and fight the war another day. Yea, they lost the battle. But heh, the Nato idiots and the US are the ones that are losing the war.

Every day the Talibans grow into some very fearsome adversaries the US has had to encounter. And each passing day serves as a very painful lesson for those who learn. Numbers and tanks wont save you from these mountain monkeys you perceived, idiots. Its God. And only Him.

I guess that explains why lights travel at a much faster speed than the sound. You look bright a couple of seconds before you made a sound.

With all due disrespects, please Mr. Mahmood, don't open your mouth. You'll at least appear smart for a few dying stints.

The Fucketh List Updated, Again.
Current Listen: Lenka - The Show.mp3

Aku dok sibuk godek packages to Redang or a few other islands along the shore which I utterly hate. The godek-ing part, not the pulau, mind you.

And I suddenly came to a realization - YOU WORK AT THE GODDAMNED AIRPORT, YE DIMWIT !!!1111

And airport authority at that. What the fuck. Maybe I should use some exhortations to squeeze the most spankfuckingly outrageous cheap package out of the Travel agents. Hrm.

The last time I went there, me and Shanaz we just terjah the hell out of everything and it wasn't peak season or anything. So there wasn't any need to pre-plan or anything. And we were so lucky that the package was quite reasonable, you know given the impulsive nature of the trip. 2 ferry trips (pergi balik), 4 meals, 1 snorkeling erm or 2 ? Tah. And a room with 2 beds for around RM 280 - 2 days. And if you were to stay longer, you get about the same price with a longer staying period, like a few dudes who later became our friends on the islands.

Oh and maybe its not Redang after all, I've been there once, so am looking at Lang Tengah as a prospect. So even if my family hadn't been there yet, Lang Tengah is technically still Redang, on the basis that its along the same shore with it. That'll do the trick I guess. lol.

The Fucketh List Updated.

1. Tioman dengan Shahnaz
2. Langkawi ngan Amin a few freak honchos.
3. Lang Tengah ?

The Just Arrived From One Hell of An Endurance Post.
Nota Kaki: Forget F U! Its MU.

I don't care if MU doesn't win the EPL next season but they will crush the Liverfools. Err correction, they have to beat the Fools and win the EPL at the same time.

And for those of you Idiots who think Giggsy doesn't deserve to win the PFA Player of The Year Award, you've just insulted the entire EPL players' intelligence. I mean its the players who voted for the Welsh Ironman.

Oh but then again, I would agree with you if you think that the players from the team you worship are nothing but a bunch of grass ass shallow pushovers. Yea, on just that. Not on the vote they casted for Giggsy. Thats quite intelligent for the likes of them you know.

Probably the only thing Intellectual they'd ever come across them in their whole entire shitty lives.

Wargh kargh kargh kargh kargh kargh.

The 5.04 AM Post.
Current Listen: Lady Gaga - Pokerface.mp3

Nota Kaki: Oh great. Esok got a whole bunch of stuffs to prepare for the meeting the day after tomorrow.

I cant schleep and tomorrow's work. So whats new. Fuck the question mark thus impregnate the shallow minds which shall subsequently gives birth to Curiosity.

I've missed Eminem. I bet the whole industry's missed him quite sorely. Love him or hate him, the man like Tupac, holds certain appeal to both his fans and naysayers. That said, the first single for his Relapse album, scheduled to drop on the head of May, might just draw criticisms that deserves criticism for the criticisms. I mean overall independent or mainstream reviews and comments have revolved around how Em is getting old, the issues that he plucked so to speak. But I read the SAME exact review back when Marshall Mathers LP was dropped and you didnt even have to guess that it went Multi-Platinum.

I mean Eminem is just who he is. I wouldn't like him if he didnt do what he did. Btw, Sarah Palin in the vid looks so droolsome.

And.

Recently I've grown kinda fond of Lady Gaga. lol. Yea I think shes cute. But more than that. I think shes fuckin cool. (read: Pokerface vid). Yea that video has got me watching it over and over again studying her body language and gestures. Yes sir, no underhanded activity is going on here. Plain star struck moments which are quite easily the same with every container of soul.

Poker Face

I've always admired individuals who can maintain a pokerface despite feeling engulfed with fierce devouring fear. Been thinking about enrolling in public speaking class so that I'll make Obama's oratory skill so pale in comparison to mine that people thought he was white.

I think more or less I can at least maintain the state of my face, though I've never actually seen the playback of my conversation or heated debates in meeting rooms. While I can maintain the flickering presence of confidence to a certain extent, drowning perspiration has always betrayed the fragile front. Am a guy who naturally perspire quite effortlessly even when its not wanted. Quite befitting to say that it chose to appear when the time is not right.

Oh Well. Yea whatever. Besok MU, Arsenal. Both arch rivals from way back. Tho I suspect and hope that the match to be entertaining. Am telling you I could do without. Fuck entertainment so long as you win. Even if its half against a nil. Its still a fuckin' win.

P/S: Girls in office attire equals HAWTNESS. (read: Irma Hasmie) :|~ *drools*

Pffffffffffftttttttt Updated.

Interview isn't until 2.15 on the P.M but I still haven't got my certs certified. Job Letter of Offer faxed. And to tumpang my relative's office fax. Since its the nearest. And Mak's growling is growing increasingly rapid. So I better move my ass and spare me a morning sermon for now.

Laters skaters.

Pffffffftttttt.

Whats cracking dickheads ? I dont feel really well but I just gotta blog this. I was already shortlisted for the ehem, yea for the interview. Yea interview. Sue me. Its a 5000 over candidates competition. And I have reasons to be proud of myself of course.

So lets just pray that everything goes well.

Pfft.

And That's Why..
Current Listen: The Pussycat Dolls feat. A.Rahman - Jai Ho (You're My Destiny).mp3
Nota Kaki: Rose Dawson was Love. *smooch*

Now I remember why I so hate watching sad/tragic movies, coz believe it or not I am a person who got effected so much when something like Rose had to leave Jack down the cruel ocean or Ho Nam's girlfriend was shot dead by that damn evil villain Crow or something.

I just watched Titanic and God, Omaigod ! I got so bothered and its so fuckin awfully sad.

Its all Fly FM's fault for having reminded me of how magnificently crafted a movie Titanic was. "Am flying.. Jack !" Damn damn damn.

But I gotta say that rewatching the movie after some 13 years of its release just gave a sheerly refreshing and dreadfully tragic feeling all the same. Back when I was 12, or was it 13 ? Erm fuck it. So yea, back when I was 12, though I could appreciate the beauty of the movie, it was more or less one of the many Cerita Orang Putih that I've seen. And of course the center of the attraction was when the classic car's windshield suddenly turned all steamy (and then all of a sudden Rose's hand falls slowly and wiping the screen off the steam). Yea, that was back then. And oh the drawing part. Even better.

Yea but that was back then. Now that I could understand the language a little better. The subtle messages a little better. Gone through somewhat identical pain altogether. The beauty of the movie has somewhat transcended the shine of light.

Lined up in the pantheons of epic.

Enter Baldhead Fuck(You) Face.

Yup, its that time of the year again. It was quite hard. Harder than I'd imagine. But times have decided that the separation is long overdue. Thus, entering with a Bang. The Baldheaded Me. Yea, I'll talk to you guys later.

Now bow ye' lowly Earthlings.

Dont We Love Monkeys ?

Here they come again. The circus from out of town. A bunch of well trained Monkeys trained to caress their masters with the tip of their tongues. The most loyal kind. So loyal that they are willing to hand their masters the whips so that they'd get whooped.

A bunch of trained apes peacocking each's gusto by singing, reciting poem and drooling cheap tears. So that everyone especially the higher ups would even look just for a while. Even just for a little while. Seriously, these are some serious monkeys.

Dont we love monkeys ? They amuse us to no end..

The Bucket List. Revisited & Updated.
Current Listen: 2Pac - Still I Rise.mp3

Been thinking this to myself.

Sometimes I just wanna be wrapped in pitch darkness. Lost in thoughts. Far from everything and everyone so that I could fink (read: think). Well, in current context that's just too luxurious. Naiveté. Wishful thinking. Or call it what you may. But if that's the entry fee to the Utopia of beautiful dreams and fascinating wishes - Naive and wishful thinking it is.

So today I snatch the idea of the 'Pitch Darkness'. How, is another story that is of much lesser significance than the outcome. So fuck the hows.

There I was thinking to myself, as I always have, but was just too distracted with variations of daily bullshits and craps to actually visualize them. I therefore concluded loads and am only able to spill these few since there were too many conclusions, they became pointless. But hey..

• Losing a few pounds of 'Horizontal height' that have rendered me schleepless due to the not so favorable outlook in recent pixels.

• Tangkap these kind of pixels just for the fun of it:

The Ha-Ha Dance, as I call it.

Couldn't find a more appropriate pixels of this dance since I dunno whats its name - hence I had to draw it and at the same time disqualifying me to Google the fuck out of it. So apologize to yourselves for failing to inform me better. I've forgiven you on my part, however.

Been liking this kind of pix for as long as I can remember. The key criteria involves the subject(s), a bright bleu sky and well, I dunno.. good senses ? Fuck it. But yea. This is what I tried to do in Penang but with a puny resemblance in the outcome. (read: The Blog's header)

So lets. With a Blast !

Cibet - Word of Thy Week.

Cibet. MU kalah lagi. I feel so restless,I can't sleep. No, not because MU kalah or whatever. Tuka tempat tido is one thing I can't compromise when trying to get my eyes to rest. So here I am dreading the hours.

Hrm what should I do now ? Its 3 zero 5 in the A.M and my vision is as clear as when the sun towers the skies. Am up for a very rough night. Very.

Sighs. Should've gone back when I got the chance to.

Behind A Glass Expression - Thousand Broken Smiles.
Current Listen: The Times - Infra Merah.mp3
Nota Kaki: Makcik's my cuz. Manage to curi the pixels frm her FS.

Who would've thought. Kak Ina dubbed Minah Letupan by none other than The Geniusidally Wise One, Me, behind those squeaky smooth glass expressions, a thousand broken smiles. A secret she hold so dear intact for 6 years. And only known to the stars in the sky that blanket the darkest of nights. And 10s of pillows she wet in solitary.

Bearing the whole weight of the world on her shoulder so that she'd protect the faces that she cares about. To protect them from the unprejudiced debris of the painful affair. How, never would have I grasped.

I have a new found respect for the Makcik. 6 years of silent tears. I would've crumbled. She managed to finish her degree and excel in between. Seriously, what tenacity. She didnt present a single drop of tears when the dude decided to walk away. And he doesnt even know that she wriths in stabbing pain all the while for him. And the tears didnt hide away when she views the dude's FS or when she engages him online (he does Medic somewhere in foreign land). Even now.

I told her just how plenty strong she is and she should know that this isnt gonna last forever and cherish the present moments for she should be joyful that she's gonna come out of this even stronger. Granted that she survives the ordeal. And she will.

Gila ah Makcik, you're ways more twisted than I thought.

The 4 A.M. Post.

The last thing I remembered was replying Sheri's SMS asking me where my father is. A little further down the road, when I all detached senses start to fall in place back again, the clock's face was punched somewhere around 4. Its in the AM. I guess I'll just check on my torrent downloads. And ah there was the heat-preserving mug that I've just bought, to cater my addiction for caffeine and my habit of leaving it for quite some time until it becomes cold enough for me just to pour it into the abyss of the kitchen's sink.

And thats just the most genius-cydal thing to do, given how the clock's face was bruised around 4. I mean here I am, all clear and feeling smarter than ever.

I guess I'll just share some of the recent captions (read:Hepi) from a trip that I was just back from - Penang, Food Heaven, since my relationship with Ms. Pillow has just prematurely ended.

Well that's when I come back.

A Twenty Five Years YOUNG's First Post.

Yea finally. The numbers are catching up. Thanx to ye thoughtfoul folks for all the SMSes, well-wishes and what have you. I know, I know am just loveable like that. But don't worry, I luv you too. Janji. X tipu. Pinky swear even. lol.

But hey seriously, thanx... Am flattered really. :"}